By Bernadette A. Sahm
Today I had an opportunity for reflection. It was work related and prayer filled. You can call it regaining my center or re-connecting with my soul or a spiritual awakening. I knew I was bone tired and disconnected from my core. I’ve been busy, very busy not just in my work projects but in my home projects as well. And it’s the holidays, his birthday, my birthday, Thanksgiving, two big special events and a new home purchase. Ongoing family drama that never ceases to end. Spinning plates and managing life putting one foot in front of the other, moving forward, always moving forward.
I have been completing one task after another picking off my “to do” list for the past 11 months with no real stop and time for reflection. I haven’t written in weeks and probably more like months unless it was work related. My last blog was months ago. I felt choked up and uninspired. I was going from pillar to post. I was getting it done. But at what cost?
In quiet reflection I regained my sense of self and my spirit was re-awakened. I went to Chapel and choose NOT to take my cell phone. Then I chose to stay put in the same seat for 2-hours. The first hour was inter-active with others the second hour was alone time. What a tremendous gift this was to me. A gift that I was not aware that I needed until I was fully immersed in thoughtful prayer. I could hear my inner voice I could sense clarity that I was unaware of inside me.
I thought about Advent and I thought about the Blessed Mother as a young girl deciding to take on the birth of Jesus. I thought about my own motherhood experience where I married so young at age 19, became pregnant at age 20 and gave birth just days after I turned 21. And when I learned that I was pregnant I didn’t run to tell my husband but rather ran home to tell my mother. I remember gasping and saying, “I’m pregnant! What should I do, I am not ready.” And I thought how young Mary must have been and how did she decide to give birth to Jesus. Was she scared or brave and fearless? Who did she tell?
I prayed Hail Mary and Our Father, my fall back prayers and then meditated on colors. Black and gray colors to release any anger or ugly issues and breathed in white for holy and pure thoughts. Then blue for peace and green for health as I breathed in and mediated on healthy colors and thought, I released all the bad in black and gray. This went on for a good ten minutes until I prayed more.
Then like magic I have 2 new blog ideas and the desire to complete one that was started weeks ago. I felt new and refreshed and ready to go again. All it took was some down time and much needed time for reflection. I didn’t enter with any expectations but rather with a desire to re-connect with my soul, my core being was neglected and I didn’t even know it!
Reflection – what a wonderful gift to give myself during this second week of Advent.
Peace and blessings …
Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer