Month: December 2016

If You Think You Can, You Can!

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If You Think You Can, You Can!
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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If you think you can, you can! This first came to me from a favorite teacher when I was a young girl in school. It has stayed with me ever since. The mind is the computer system of the body, what goes in is what comes out. If we believe that we can achieve it we will.

The opposite is true as well if you tell yourself that you can’t do it, you won’t do it. There is nothing that we can’t achieve if we work hard enough for it and believe in it. One of the greatest gifts we can give to ourselves is to believe in ourselves and our own abilities.

This mantra doesn’t just work with the goals that we set for ourselves like becoming the class President or securing that job. It also can be used when we are faced with adversity. As human beings we are survivors and have a built in desire to live, to survive and even thrive.

One of the reasons I love teachers so much and have so many in my life as good friends is because they don’t see the obstacle as much as they see the possibilities. They know that with effort and the right attitude everything and anything is possible.

When we are faced with a challenge and a struggle and with adversity we must learn to use the same tools of “If you think you can, you can!” If you think you can beat cancer you will try your hardest, if you think you can get over “it” “him” or “her.” You will!

It is when we tell ourselves that “we can’t” is when we are doomed to fail. Kids have a natural born in desire with an “I can do that!” attitude. We should remember that as we age. If we believe in ourselves and believe that there is nothing we can’t accomplish with the right mind set we become fully accomplished. Then there is no challenge that we cannot overcome. So often getting through that challenge and to the other side is when we see the gifts of overcoming that which was once an obstacle.

Change your thinking and change your world. If you think you can, you can! Say it, see it, believe it and then do it!

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

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A Brand New Canvas

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A Brand New Canvas
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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We have a brand new canvas ahead of us and what will we paint on it? What colors will we use? What pictures will we portray? What scenes will we draw? What look will we create? What words will we use?

Each New Year affords us an opportunity to be new again, we can continue the path that we are on or we can turn about and turn around and start anew. We have a brand new canvas upon which to draw our stories. Our stories may be bright and uplifting or they may be dark and desperate. What will inspire us?

As we turn the page and draw upon a new year all is white and all is bright with the endless possibilities and new opportunities that a new year holds for us. What we do with the possibilities and opportunities is completely up to us.

Do we have an idea of how we want that final portrait to look or are we going about it without any forethought and plan? Each New Year affords us hope …

“Where there’s life, there’s hope.” Theocritus (c.270 BC)

Happiest of New Year’s 2017 may you be blessed with good health, much love and abundance …

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

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Christmas Memories

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Christmas Memories
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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Christmas memories, we all have them? We remember being children and the anticipation of waking up on Christmas morning and opening up all our gifts. We remember those special years when we received exactly what we asked for and other years when we were so happily surprised with others gifts that we never even thought about but turned out to be perfect.

What was your earliest Christmas morning memory? What present stands out the most? What gift did you receive that you remember so fondly and what gift did you give that was so much appreciated? Where did you go and who did you spend your time with?

What were your family traditions and what traditions have you carried on with? What are your favorite places to go and be on Christmas? And who are you spending time with that is part of not just today but the memories that you will hold onto in the future?

One of my earliest memories as a child was when I received Barbie’s pink convertible car for Christmas and another year our Uncle Michael, my father’s brother gave me and my four sisters matching quilted bath robes. Five little girls with matching quilted bathrobes. Then there was the year my mother gave us all new bicycles. I received a new 10-speed bicycle. It was All-American looking in red, white and blue and I was just a teenager and loved it.

Then came the years when I was married and my husband spoiled me and later the years with children when we spoiled them. There were the many years when we packed up the gifts and the twins and off we went to Nashville Tennessee and another holiday season when we spent Christmas in Key West, Florida.

It only takes one bad holiday with loss and grief and when after you get through it you pledge that will never happen to me again! And you do your best to plan ahead and make sure that Christmas is as special as it can be. Of course the off years make you appreciate the glowing years all the more.

Often as we age it becomes about “it is in giving that we receive” and it is about that food, clothing or gifts for kids that we donate to those less fortunate. Or that check and cash donation made out to our favorite charity to help them continue the mission of helping those that don’t have.

Christmas may be about our church or a new place of worship or that special drink and food that we enjoy to help us celebrate. It may also include that big game and sports event or a newly released movie or theater show. We celebrate. We love. We share. We enjoy. We remember. We make memories.

Merry Christmas and may you be filled with all the love and goodness this life offers and be surrounded by the people that you love most and together create fond memories for the many years to come.

God Bless Us All!

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer
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Helping Professions Business

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Helping Professions Business
By Bernadette A. Moyer

helping-professions

Doctors, lawyers, social workers and teacher are all in the “helping profession” and yes it is a business. It is how they earn their living they get paid and often they are well paid and most often they get paid whether they are successful or not.

My mother was a masters-educated nurse and her brother was a doctor, they were in the “helping professions” and they definitely cared about people and they wanted them to get well. They were also very well paid for their services. The medical field is a business. To a patient with a doctor who has helped them that doctor becomes almost God-like. And to the client who has a lawyer that has kept him out of jail that attorney is also almost God-like. Yet both the doctor and the attorney are doing their jobs, jobs that pay them. And pay them well.

Most lawyers get a “retainer” and are paid up front and you pay whether you win or lose. When you enter the hospital or any doctor’s office, the very first question you will be asked is “do you have insurance?” and next “who is financially responsible for your care?” It is a money game. YES they provide a service and yes you are the consumer. They may be in the “helping profession” but it is about being in business.

Would they do what they do for you if they weren’t getting paid for it? And what happens if they really aren’t helping you at all? And what happens when they stop getting paid?

Recently a family member went into the hospital with some mental health issues and after months of hospitalization he is taking 9-different medications over 20 pills a day and in less than two months has gained over 50 pounds and now has high cholesterol. He is only 24 years old. The medications are supposed to stabilize him and help him with his moods and anxiety. With the over 9 medications and over 20 pills a day he is still moody, crying often, does not smile, and continues to threaten harming himself. He is unhealthier than ever before and now not just mentally but physically too. Yet the “helping professionals” claim that he is “doing really well” and yet he repeatedly has one shocking episode after another.

My questions are should any human body be taking 9-different medications and over 20 pills in a single day? How could gaining 50 plus pounds in less than 2 months and while in a hospital atmosphere be considered “healthy” and “doing really well?”

I am someone that questions “helping professionals” and I am someone that looks for visible results. If you are helping and there are results, I am all in but if you are getting paid and the patient or the client or the students are not doing well, I am going to question whether this is what is best for them or for you.

When we are in need and are vulnerable, just may be when we need the helping professional the most and yet we may not have the frame of mind to discern whether they are actually helping us or if we are the ones that are helping their bottom line.

One of the best things about being married is in having a partner so that when you are not at your best, they can come in and truly have your best interest at heart.

Today I pray for the people that are most vulnerable and at the mercy of the “helping professionals” and that they truly are receiving the help that they need and are more than just a vehicle for financial gain. Amen

And Dear God, please do not let me live past the time when I am wholly able to care for myself …

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer
All books by Bernadette A. Moyer on Amazon and Barnes and Noble

My Christmas Card List

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My Christmas Card List
(Written by Helen Steiner Rice)

Shared here by Bernadette A. Moyer

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I have a list of folks I know, all written in a book.
And every year when Christmas comes, I go and take a look.
That is when I realize these names are all a part,
Not of the book they’re written in, but of my very heart.
For each name stands for someone who has crossed my path sometime,
And in meeting they’ve become the rhythm in each rhyme.
While it may sound fantastic for me to make this claim,
I really feel that I’m composed of each remembered name,
And while you may not be aware of any special link,
Just meeting you has changed my life much more than you may think.
For once I’ve met somebody, the years cannot erase.
The memory of a pleasant word or of a friendly face.
So never think my Christmas cards are just a mere routine
Of names upon a Christmas list, forgotten in between
For when I send a Christmas card that is addressed to you
It’s because you’re on the list of folks I’m endeared to.
For I am but a total of the many folks I’ve met,
And you happen to be one of those I prefer not to forget.
Whether I have known you for many years or just a few,
In some ways you have a part of shaping things I do.
And every year when Christmas comes I realize anew,
The best gift life can offer is meeting folks like you.
So may the spirit of Christmas that forever more endures
Leave its richest blessings in the hearts of you and yours.

I could not have said it better! Enjoy! Merry Christmas 2016!

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

Just a Little TLC

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Just a Little TLC
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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It’s amazing what a little love and tender loving care can and will do. For months we watched a home in our neighborhood going from abandoned to a bank foreclosure. There were sticky notices on the door and the fence was coming apart and partially missing. The windows were showing signs of age and there was chipping paint. You could see that this house was neglected and abandoned. It backed up to our community park and practically added the park to extend its own backyard.

The house looked sad and it looked unloved. And it was. Then we started to see cars there and later a new fence and new windows. Some freshly added paint too. The house was starting to come back to life!

It has such a perfect location in being at the end of the block and then backing up to our community park. Love and care brought that house back and renewed its place in the community. No longer is it an eyesore and run-down piece of property but it has new owners. New owners that invested their time and their resources to bring about positive results and I’m sure the neighbors are delighted with those results.

Seeing that home go from down and out to up and rising, reminded me that we can all be abandoned and we can all be neglected but when we are loved and when we receive tender loving care we look and we feel and we act our best. People notice how we take care of ourselves and how we look and how we carry ourselves.

“We must always change renew, rejuvenate ourselves; otherwise we harden.” Goethe

We can look and act like a wreck, worn out and abandoned or we can pick ourselves up, do the work and add some tender loving care and become renewed again. Who doesn’t want to feel renewed and revived and most of all loved?

Here is to the effects of tender loving care and feeling rejuvenated and renewed …

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer
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Pay Attention

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Pay Attention
By Bernadette A. Moyer

pay-attention

So often we miss the clues because we just aren’t paying attention. When we tune in we learn and we see and our communications are clearer and easier.

Everything living and alive communicates with us, nature talks to us and our pets and animals speak to us and yes humans speak both verbally and nonverbally. Our actions and what we do say so much more about us than our words do.

Last week my dog Happy came into my office, she gave me a lengthy stare just before climbing up on an over-sized chair in my office. She continued to stare at me as she peed on that chair. Her urine was rusty brown. She was telling me that she wasn’t well. A trip to the vet would confirm that she needed surgery again to have stones removed. I could have easily missed her “speak” to me. But I was engaged with her and I was paying attention.

Much is revealed to us when we do pay attention. So much communication happens not by what we say but by what we do what we see and what we witness.

Our dogs are the best teachers of non-verbal communications and some of their communications that would easily be dismissed if we didn’t pay attention to them. A bark and a scratch on the backdoor aren’t just a bark and a scratch but rather a communication that she needs to go out. A bark in the kitchen by the water bowl says so clearly. “The water bowl is empty.” And a scratch and a whine mid-kitchen say, “I want a treat or more to eat.”

“I truly believe that everything that we do and everyone that we meet is put in our paths for a purpose. There are no accidents; we’re all teachers – if we’re willing to pay attention to the lessons we learn, trust our positive instincts and not be afraid to take risks or wait for some miracle to come knocking at our door.” Maria Gibbs

When we pay attention to our dogs, our pets, to people and to all living things they communicate so clearly with us. All living things communicate with us if we are open and receptive to hearing and understanding them.

Pay attention … the rewards are amazing …

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer
Books by Bernadette A. Moyer on Amazon and Barnes & Noble

No Trust – No Relationship

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No Trust – No Relationship
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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Think about it? You might tolerate someone that you don’t trust but you won’t be close to them. A lack of trust equals a lack of closeness and the ability to form truly close interpersonal relationships.

I know people that worked through their trust issues in marriages and in family relationships but it took time, it took maturity, it took forgiveness, it took ownership and most of all it took the ability and the desire to fix and to attempt to repair what was broken.

Because of all my writings I hear from parents around the world, parents who had adult child estrange themselves for whatever reasons and the number one take away when that adult child makes an attempt to come back is “guard your heart” and “I could never trust them again.”

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When we hurt others and when we are truly sorry most people will forgive us and if the relationship is important and meaningful, they may try to repair it. But when you have someone in your life that not only hurt you but shows no true sense of remorse, it is virtually impossible to have a relationship with them. You may decide to tolerate them but there is no true closeness and no real relationship.

Every single one of us has done something in our life that we regret and are sorry for and about, and if we want to be forgiven and to be acknowledged and accepted we must start by 1) owning what we did and 2) try to right any of our wrongs.

Sometimes it is worth the time and the effort to work on repairing and in other relationships it may just be healthier and better to let sleeping dogs lay. Some people just don’t deserve another chance. Some people do.

In my lifetime, I have forgiven everyone, everything and I didn’t do it for them or because I wanted to have a relationship with them, I did it for myself, I did it so I wasn’t stuck and burdened with that kind of garbage. I have also owned my stuff, what did I do wrong? What could I have done better? Sometimes ownership is all it takes.

My husband and I have been together for over 24 years now soon to be 25years, in that length of time we have hurt each other, we have done things to one another that required true forgiveness.

“It takes seconds to destroy what it takes years to build.” Lou Holtz

Forgiveness that was always followed by our truest sense of sorrow, sorrow over our hurts toward one another and our willingness to put our ego aside and humble ourselves enough to not only be sorry but willing to accept the consequences of our actions and work toward rebuilding those hurts.

Anyone in a long term relationship or marriage knows that inevitably we will hurt our partners either knowingly or unknowingly but the desire to work through it is greater than the need to be right. The greater goal and the greater good are always to get through it together and remember than there is no “I” in “we.”

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer
All books by Bernadette A Moyer on Amazon and Barnes & Noble