What Do I Want

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What Do I Want
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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What do I want? What do I want out of life? What do I want out of today and tomorrow and next week and next year?

Seems like many times in life we should rethink and ask that question as it is sure to change as we continue to grow and change.

I truly believe the happiest people are the ones that are living their lives in a way that answers that question. What do I want? What makes me happy? How do I want to live my life and take care of myself? What do I need to be happy?

When we are young we are consumed with “what do I want” and answering and doing what we want then comes life and responsibilities, that career job, owning a home or a car and having children or pets all depend on us to produce and to provide. Sometimes it is easy to get lost in what does everyone need rather than in what do I want.

Having children and raising them is one of the most selfless acts and responsibility that we will ever take on, being responsible for another human being is the highest calling and requires giving and giving and giving on a minute to minute hour to hour and daily basis. It is never ending, but it also requires us to put our own personal wants and needs on a back burner. Kids have immediate needs all they know is now and later, adults can and do wait.

Then it happens the kids are raised, and full fledged adults out on their own and once again it is the perfect time for us, just us.

What do I want? It sounds so easy, right? But is it? How do you go about answering that question?

“Be careful what you wish for, you may receive it.”  W.W. Jacobs

For me its starts with a gut check, how am I feeling? Then it goes to making lists, what else do I want to do and accomplish in this lifetime? Then jumping off and staring, diving in, trying, learning, giving it a whirl.

No other person can answer that question for us and sometimes it takes thought, aloneness and quiet for us to come up with it ourselves. All I know for sure is that the only road to true and lasting happiness is finding a way to afford what you want in both time and treasure and then setting out and making it happen!

Here is to your happiness and here is to getting and appreciating all that you ever needed and wanted …

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

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Happiness Heals You

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Happiness Heals You
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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You have to want to be happy and you have to want to be healed and both come together as a package deal. Happiness heals us! It just does …

The more things that you can do that make yourself happy, the healthier you will feel and become. If one area of life isn’t going well for you then focus on the areas that bring you joy and happiness.

Happiness is infectious and contagious. There is no limit or end to the happiness you can create. Spread it around and see it take on a new life and more growth and power. What you put out into the universe comes right back to you.

We all come with our own issues, things that we were born with or things that happened in our childhood or later in life, hurts and disappointments are a natural part of living life. Most often they are here for us to learn and to grow. We can stay stuck in our disappointments or we can gather up the lessons learned and move forward with grace and love and happiness.

It is possible all we have to do is desire it and we do this by acting in ways that show our love and gratitude for the lives that we lead. Learning to live in the moment knowing that yesterday is over and tomorrow has yet to come.

We do create our own heaven or hell, it all depends on us. Every single situation gives us the opportunity to respond with love. Happiness is a choice. Love is a choice.

Do the things you love, surround yourself with the people that you love and strive to be the best version of yourself. No one can make you happy unless you want to be happy. No one can heal you unless you want to be healed.

“Folks are about as happy as they make their minds up to be.” Abraham Lincoln

Today I pray that you have enough happiness to heal all the things that have hurt you. Seek happiness!

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

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Forward March

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Forward March
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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What lies ahead is so much more important than what was left behind. Today is a new day, today is the first day of the rest of our lives. What will we do with it?

I’ve often thought that if most of us knew what was ahead, we would just stay stuck? We live in hope, we hope that what comes next will be good for us and make us happy and yet so often that just isn’t the case.

But then again many times it is… what lies ahead can be better than anything we have yet to experience. If we believe it, we can receive it!

“The future belongs to those who believe in their dreams.” Eleanor Roosevelt

“The best way to predict the future is to create it.” Peter Drucker

“Sometimes life doesn’t turn out the way you expected or hoped. That doesn’t mean you can’t be happy. If you don’t limit yourself to your first version of your life there’s always a bright future ahead.” Michael Josephson

Your future will always be bright when you stay focused, optimistic and confident. There is no future in the past … the future starts today … forward march …

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

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A Different Kind of Beautiful

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A Different Kind of Beautiful
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” and beautiful is defined differently by different people. As you age you learn that beauty really is more about how something is and feels rather than just how it looks on the surface.

Beauty is as beauty does is a phrase my mother often used when I was coming up. I have thought of that phrase often …

There will always be the obvious beauty as in a beautiful baby or young child, or the beauty in the flowers or the sun rise and sun sets. As we age what we perceive as beautiful often changes, it grows, we appreciate the rains and the storms and all of life’s imperfections more and more. We come to see that beauty really does exist everywhere and in every place and every person if we are open and receptive to seeing it. It’s there.

I have learned to look at my gray hair as “sparkles” and that it is a crown that I have earned from living life all these year. Just the thought of “sparkles” makes me smile!

Rainy days no longer depress me, today I embrace them and see their beauty just as much as a clear and sunny day, each day brings its own unique pleasures.

When I see people behave unattractively or in a poor way or with harsh phrases or judgements I seldom if ever allow it to make me view their targets in that light. But I do  view the person spewing as someone that needs more love. Someone that has their own wounds; and a wounded soul can be viewed in a beautiful light.

We can create more beauty and become more beautiful …

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer
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57 Things I Learned in My 57 Years

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57 Things I Learned in My 57 Years
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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1) My life and my happiness is my responsibility, period.

2) Kids will come and kids will go, build a life that is meaningful long after their departure.

3) Don’t take it personally, nothing other people do is because of you, it is because of them.

4) Gather as much information as you can and then make informed decisions.

5) Pick the guy who believes in you, supports you, loves you and thinks you are beautiful.

6) Bad boys are just that, bad.

7) Trust few but always trust in your own inner voice.

8) Every single day is a blessing.

9) Nothing lasts forever, this too shall pass.

10) People will come into your life and people will leave your life, let them.

11) You are beautiful just the way you are, believe it! No one knows your heart like you do.

12) Work hard, go that extra mile but play hard too.

13) Nature offers peace every single day and in every single season.

14) Animals have incredible souls and are capable of the most love and loyalty.

15) Writers write.

16) Estrangement is strange. It isn’t normal and there are no winners.

17) Trust someone the first time they reveal themselves to you.

18) Marriage requires ongoing efforts and commitment grounded in genuine love and care.

19) Surround yourself with people, places and things that you love. Create your own beautiful life.

20) I was a shy kid that stuttered; today I could debate with the best. Where you start is just a start.

21) Never ever give up on yourself.

22) Campy as it sounds, “Into each life, some rain must fall.”

23) Learn from it and then get over it!

24) Beauty exists everywhere and so does ugliness.

25) Good people can and do make bad mistakes.

26) You are not defined by one person, one experience or single life event.

27) Everything that seems bad really can be turned around and into something good.

28) Be a life-long learner. There is always something new to learn.

29) Gratitude is an attitude.

30) Life goes on …

31) God is good. In an ever changing world God is my salvation.

32) Family is so much more than blood; it is the people that love, support and see the best in you.

33) Girlfriend time is always time well spent.

34) Stress less. Pray more and worry less.

35) Eat the good foods and exercise. Life is about balance.

36) Make love, lots and lots of love.

37) Negative people are just that, negative.

38) Take the time to get to know yourself and always be your own best friend.

39) There is a big difference between being alone and being lonely.

40) Peace is always possible.

41) Stability doesn’t have to be boring.

42) Make something build something bake something create more. Just do it.

43) Build on a solid foundation.

44) Embrace change. Don’t fight it be open to new things, new people and new experiences.

45) Painful lessons are lasting lessons.

46) Pretty comes and pretty goes but being nice will last forever.

47) Share as much as possible but don’t allow yourself to be taken for granted.

48) Hatred and anger doesn’t look good on anyone. Not ever.

49) Forgive but don’t forget.

50) Not everything ends with “happy ever after” but that doesn’t mean your happiness has to end.

51) Give back! Every single person has something to offer.

52) Never wrestle with a pig, because you will both get dirty and the pig likes it.

53) We all have a birth date and a death date, no one gets out alive. Enjoy everything in between.

54) Getting old is a gift, cherish it.

55) Wisdom is born with age.

56) Breathe. Take long deep breathes.

57) Most things can be cured with a long hot bubble bath, a cup of tea or a glass of wine and a big warm embracing hug!

BONUS!

#58 Just because someone said it, doesn’t make it true.

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

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Keeping Positive During These Negative Times

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Keeping Positive During These Negative Times
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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Have you had enough yet? I have! I have stopped watching the news, all of it! I am tired of all the negativity from both sides.

Wow! The amount of disrespect for this President makes me sick inside. Whether you like him or not, we are one Country and he was elected. If this isn’t your choice then go do something productive and positive to change the course.

When I see people hold signage of hatred and signs that read “Resist” and “Not My President” all I can think of is how other countries must view us and then I think about all the childhood lessons we were taught about winning and losing. That being a “sore loser” just wasn’t an option. And more than that I think about little kids with eyes wide open that are seeing a culture of disrespect, disrespect from all sides on all issues and towards all kinds of people.

What am I going to do about it? I don’t even switch channels as not to give the hate media more exposure and more clicks. When friends and associates post things I can’t stomach I quickly scan by and sometimes even remove them and block them. You see to me the sounds and the signs of disrespect, hate, anger, ugly words used by people that I know looks badly on them and not at all on their intended targets. Sadly it makes me think less of them.

People that spew anger, hatred, ugly comments and sentiments only make themselves look bad, period. I don’t want any parts of it.

My husband comes home from work and says, “Did you hear about this or did you see that —?” and I am like no I haven’t I have decided to tune it all out.

So what am I feeding my heart and my soul these days?

• More music
• Longer walks in nature
• Candles
• Pretty pictures
• Bird watching
• Cooking
• Baking
• Cleaning
• Writing
• Hanging out with my fur babies
• Reading
• Journaling
• Prayers
• Home improvement projects
• Adult coloring books

I can’t control what anyone else says and does but I can control how I respond to it. I choose to deliberately put my peace and well-being above all the political noise. And that is exactly what it is nothing but noise!

How many wonderful things could you be doing with your time and with your life rather than spewing ugly words and derogatory statements when the truth is you don’t even have all the insider knowledge and facts? The information that you are currently receiving is coming to you by a bias media that has their own agenda. They don’t think we are smart enough to hear all the facts and then make our own decisions without them telling us how to think. No thanks!

Didn’t we all grow up with our parents teaching us that “if you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all!” Mine did good advice then and still good advice today.

If nothing else adults should stop and think if their behaviors are ones that little kids should ever witness? If the answer is “no” that might be a pretty good indication that no good comes from what you are doing and from any form of hate and anger.

Find a positive outlet for your upset, anger and disappointments and try to do something good and worthwhile. Please!

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

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Judgement

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Judgement
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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We judge and we are judged and it is just a fact of life. Yet I always find it interesting and even remarkable how two different people can look at someone and one person sees only good and goodness and another person looks at that very same person and all they see is evil, darkness and all that is bad.

So who are they really seeing and judging?

ca. 2000 --- Keeping Score for the Team --- Image by © Royalty-Free/Corbis

“People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.” Abraham Hicks

For years I had this quote by Mother Teresa hanging in my office it read; “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” It was a daily reminder for me to look at people through the lens of love rather than one of judgement.

Matthew 7 reads Judging Others ”Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the same measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

For me it translates into the Golden Rule … what you wish upon others, you wish upon yourself. Treat others the way in which you want to be treated.

There is a Sally Field quote that I like a lot and she says; “it took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else’s eyes.”

Think about that for a minute? If we allow the judgements of others that truly can be all over the map, depending on who they are and what motivates them and more, rather than in knowing our own true selves how confusing and even devastating that can be to ourselves. Know yourself!

If we live our lives, trying hard, doing the best that we can with what we have and what we know and with the willingness to learn and to grow and to make an effort to see people through loving eyes rather than one based in judgement just how healthy and happy not them but WE can be?

Lay down your judgements and amp up your love … to the happy and healthy life!

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

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