I remember when I worked with someone who said that love was the most overused word in the English language. And I was like absolutely not, you can’t say it enough and you can’t act on it enough! LOVE LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, just saying it makes me so happy!
For me I love so many things and so many people, I love my husband more than anyone else and I love my friends and my precious pooches. I love our home, family and friends. I could go on and on about all the many things that I love.
But on a deeper level, what is love? An emotion, a feeling, an act, a way of life? How do you define love? Is it simplistic or is it complicated? I’m guessing it can be many things to many people.
For me it feels good to love and to be loved. My husband has been my greatest “love” in both giving me love and in receiving my love. For days I thought about writing this blog. What does love mean? Is it caring, it is sharing is it _____?
When I asked my husband Brian, “What does love mean to you?” In a very sober and rapid response he said, “One word, Bernadette.” Wow! I didn’t see that one coming but what a great response. At least for me!
We are retired; we raised three children together. We had career jobs, a few houses, many cars, many travels and five precious pups. A lifetime of love built on a solid commitment of caring, devotion and love. I was initially afraid to get married because I had failed relationships and never wanted to be divorced.
My husband has loved me more and longer than anyone else. I know how lucky I am and how lucky we are as we thrived and survived through many life altering events. It has not always been easy, and it has not always been without our share of friction. One of the best parts of this stage of our lives is that we are so happy together and at peace, we love.
When we go to sleep at night, my husband holds me until I fall asleep, He holds me every night. We laugh because he says it hurts his arm but don’t worry, I am here to hold you until you fall asleep. I don’t believe my love, our love, is supposed to look like your love and that is the beauty of love.
Many times, my husband has said that he would die for me, my response is always the same in, but I want you to live for me!
“I don’t know about you, but I was put here to live and love so what if I don’t do it like everyone else does.” From the song Like It’s A Bad Thing by Gary Allan
MY WISH is that we as a community and as a society would focus more on love and all that we love instead of hatred and discourse. I want love for all the friends I have for all the family I have and for everyone. Love more and your life is sure to be so much happier, we get what we focus on, we receive what we put our energy into.
“Where there is love there is life.” Mahatma Gandhi
What is meant for you, will find you! I am a firm believer in this statement. If it is meant to happen, if someone is meant to be in your life, it will happen.
Several years ago, I was working on a project with another professional colleague. We shared some personal stories. I was talking to her about a relationship that ended and left me quite sad and gutted. Her response was, “It wasn’t meant to be.” At the time that was not what I wanted to hear. Since then, I have often reflected on it. It wasn’t meant to be.
We all get older and hopefully wiser. My younger self wanted a different outcome. Today my mature self believes what is meant for you, will find you. If it doesn’t it wasn’t meant to be. Peace and happiness come from acceptance and understanding.
All that I have is meant for me, all that I don’t wasn’t meant to be. I know it sounds so simple, but I think that it’s meant to be that simplistic.
Think about all things that just came naturally and at the time when you were open and ready to receive it. What is meant for you quotes emphasize that destined opportunities, relationships, and successes will naturally align with your life, and this encourages patience, trust, and letting go of forced outcomes.
You can’t open any news source without learning that celebrity couple Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman have split after 19 years of marriage. Like most people I am a bit shocked and saddened as it appeared they were a happy and loving couple.
This celebrity news has caused more than a few “couple conversations” with my husband. We have been together for 34 years now and married for 28 years. It is not always easy, but we are committed and stay in love. I hate the term “work at it” as I would rather say we try to keep it fun and happy. We enjoyed each other’s company and like many of the same things. We grew up during the same time period.
They say Keith moved out from the family months ago and are just now making it public knowledge. My husband’s immediate response was “somebody didn’t want it” in regard to their marriage. It made me think that yeah, the only “secret” to a happy marriage is that both people have to want it.
When a man moves out of the family home and purchases his own private residence you can almost guarantee it is because he has found a new partner. I am willing to bet that Nicole has been replaced with a younger version. We have witnessed this show before …
I am a firm believer that when it is over, it is over, both people have to want it for a marriage to succeed. I can’t imagine what is more difficult to leave or to stay in a relationship that you don’t want to be in and are unhappy.
What I think is that he is gone and in my life experience Nicole will find someone or someone better!
For some time now I have been contemplating the phrase “less is more” and “down-sizing” and neither felt right. They seem negative to me like its “less” and less than what I am thinking about and trying to convey. We aren’t living with “less” we are living with enough! Doesn’t that sound better “enough is more” enough is enough!
Not that long ago we owned two homes and three vehicles for just two people. It was enough and it was more than what most people accumulate. Then one day as we approached retirement, we questioned what do we need? What do we want? We decided to “edit” and make decisions on what was best suited in our new lifestyle. It seemed like the common phrases of “down-sizing” and “less is more” were the common definitions for most people. Yet it didn’t sit well with me because I felt so happy and so content. It is living with enough … we really don’t need so much to live well and to be happy. Honestly it feels more liberating, deliberate and natural. It easy and less stressful.
How do you define “enough” … think about the amount of energy and responsibility it takes to manage more than enough and how much more enjoyable we can be when we come to view our lifestyle choices as “enough”
Peace and blessings on this rainy Sunday afternoon!
The slower life gets, the more it feels like living. I heard the birds chirping this morning. I smell the fresh ground coffee beans dripping fresh brewed coffee. The curtains are gently swaying with cool crisp breezes trickling through the open windows. The sky so lovely bright blue with soft white cottony clouds.
The slower life gets, the more it feels like living. Quiet is the fun new excitement. Stillness is the new action word. Peace is the mantra for these days. Loving is the overall theme and daily goal.
I’ve slowed down and I have never felt more alive. The slower life gets, the more it feels like living!
My husband tells me that I am “aging backwards” I’ll take it! And he would know as we have been together for 34 years now, together since we were just 32 years old. Although this is not the first time I’ve heard this, it is the first time I actually believe it.
I believe that I had aged pre-maturely in my early twenties as I was widowed at age 23 and left alone with a two-year-old toddler to raise. It felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders as I tried to navigate single motherhood and earning enough to support us. This was definitely not what I had signed up for at such a young age.
“I was so much older then, I am younger than that now” by Bob Dylan
Then came years of a different level of stresses in a new marriage and taking on the mother role for newborn infant twins, as I tried to work my way up my chosen career paths.
Yet today as a retired senior I feel and look better than ever before! There are no “secrets” to living a good healthy lifestyle as so much of it is just common sense.
If I had to make a list of what I believe has contributed to my happiness and wellness, this list would be much of it.
1) Live in love and let go of all that no longer serves you well
2) Eat the good food/eat fresh
3) Exercise and get those 10,000 steps a day
4) Take your vitamins, I am big on taking magnesium and a low dose of aspirin daily, it works for me!
5) Get outside in the fresh air
6) Keep gratitude top of mind as there is always something to be grateful for
7) Live under your financial means so that you are not financially struggling
8) Laugh often it feels so good and is so good for you
9) Get a dog or two!
10) And for me probably the most important of all is marry well, choose wisely and make sure you live in peace and love with your forever friend/partner/lover/spouse
Bonus buy the cute outfit, get your hair and nails done and take the trip … Life is for the living, live it!
This is my list … make one that works for you too. I feel great and I believe you can too!
Bernadette A. Sahm 