Losing Happy

Standard

Losing Happy
By Bernadette A. Moyer

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

On June 14, 2018 we had no choice but to put our most precious Bichon Frise Happy down. She was in kidney failure and suffering. It was the day before she was scheduled for surgery. It would have been her third surgery for removing bladder stones. The bladder stones never really went away.

Happy was a heart stealer, anyone and everyone took to her. She was regal and intense and sweet. She had a mind of her own, she let you know what she needed and wanted. When you pay attention you really can connect and communicate with an animal.

From the day that we brought her home she was a family member, she was our child, she was our baby. We loved her, we took care of her and we protected her. Happy was smart, she was tuned in and she was sensitive. On a rare occasion if we corrected her, she immediately responded with affirmation of a lick or cuddling up. She always seemed to understand us and we felt that we understood her too.

Happy traveled with us, slept with us, ate dinner with us and was that family member that was always so easy to be with. We joke that we preferred her company over some people that we knew. She was pure delight.

Love is ongoing and a learning experience, we learn to love and we learn to give love and to receive love. Happy was one of our best teachers, as she was easy to love and she freely loved us all in return. The exchange of unconditional love is what we will miss the most. She never failed to greet us with kisses and expressions of happiness to see us.

Happy was a pure bred Bichon Frise and named after our first Bichon Happy, her full given name was Happy Again and that was exactly how she made us feel, we delighted in her, she brought us so much joy and so much genuine love. Real love where you give and you give and it is all given without any expectations.

Our hearts are broken, we are beyond tears, but we know that heaven has a new angel and we know that because of Happy we are better people, who learned to love better and to love deeper and to love without any conditions.

But we are also at peace, we are at peace because we know that we all shared in a good and meaningful and loving exchanges of life and living life. What more could we really have asked for?

We let her physical being go in love because we knew there really was no other choice, but Happy Again will live forever in our hearts, in our memories and in our prayers.

We love you Happy and we already feel the void of the gift of you, the gift of your presence in our lives … RIP sweet baby girl!

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer
Books by Bernadette on Amazon and Barnes & Noble

One Less One More

Standard

One Less One More
By Bernadette A. Moyer

idea2

 

What could you use one less of? What could you use one more of?

One less paper cup
One less wasted purchase
One less heart break
One less angry moment
One less unkind word
One less disposable plate
One less unhappy day
One less missed opportunity
One less unprepared experience
One less fruitless exchange
One less regret

One more hug
One more kiss
One more I love you
One more flower
One more sunshine
One more friend
One more beach day
One more glass of water
One more glass of wine
One more live musical concert
One more fruit salad
One more road trip

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

All books by Bernadette A. Moyer on Amazon and Barnes & Noble

Rise Above It

Standard

Rise Above It
By Bernadette A. Moyer

rise

As a kid growing up this was one of many mantra’s that my mother tried to teach us, “rise above it” and she meant whatever “it “was.

Every single one of us has “stuff” things that aren’t perfect about us or perfect in our lives. No one is perfect and no one has a perfect life. Part of the challenge in life is how we handle ourselves and our situations at any given time.

We are always afforded the choice to “rise above it” and with every choice in doing so we gain confidence in ourselves and are able to love, nurture, grow and gain in the process.

We can go low or we can rise up … each and every response creates a different set of consequences. We are only ever responsible for our own actions. What other people do is always all about themselves.

Rise above it! Rise above it! Rise above it! When we do this our life, our world, our self-esteem and our self-worth all rise too.

Remember not one of us is perfect and yet when we make the choice to rise about it we become perfectly attuned and at peace.

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

Books by Bernadette A. Moyer on Amazon and Barnes & Noble

The Nurture in Nature

Standard

The Nurture in Nature
By Bernadette A. Moyer

falls

Just returned from a long weekend in Niagara Falls, New York and words nor photographs will ever do justice to the splendor and natural beauty of The Falls. It was my first trip there and hopefully not my last. It was nature at its best. The sounds and the look of waterfalls doing what they do naturally just a beautiful scene to take in, it almost took my breath away.

Minutes before you reach the falls to view, you hear them with that soft and calming sound of rushing waters. Then when you arrive you aren’t sure where to look first and what area to walk down first. There are people there just like you admiring it, taking it in and shooting photos and videos.

There is so much here to love, first it is a FREE National Park and on the day that we first arrived we received FREE holiday parking in their lot. The Falls are mesmerizing and they exude energy. There is incredible life, a life force that comes with the raging waterfalls. Each different time of day brings a different back drop with daylight one look and then in being backlit with colored lights at night. During our weekend stay we visited three times and I could have easily returned for many more visits. It doesn’t get old.

I was overcome with peace and also with pride. These waterfalls made me aware of just how small I am in a world with natural wonders and with the life force of this energy found in nature. I was also proud to live in a country that showcases its natural beauty so beautifully.

The trip to the waterfalls at Niagara Falls once again drove home for me just how much nurturing can be found in nature. So much life was happening right there and right then. The good news is that it didn’t include; television, radio, news, games or any other distraction that we face in life it was just simple Mother Nature at her best most beautiful self.

I am reminded again that all we really need to maintain our peace is a trip outdoors whether it is Niagara Falls, the ocean, the mountains, a lake or park, a garden or backyard trees and landscaping, Mother Nature is always there with arms wide open and willing to share all her many splendors. She nurtures us so completely in being honest and true and completely natural.

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

Along The Way and Another Way by Bernadette A. Moyer available on Amazon and Barnes& Noble

57 Things I Learned in My 57 Years

Standard

57 Things I Learned in My 57 Years
By Bernadette A. Moyer

mepic

1) My life and my happiness is my responsibility, period.

2) Kids will come and kids will go, build a life that is meaningful long after their departure.

3) Don’t take it personally, nothing other people do is because of you, it is because of them.

4) Gather as much information as you can and then make informed decisions.

5) Pick the guy who believes in you, supports you, loves you and thinks you are beautiful.

6) Bad boys are just that, bad.

7) Trust few but always trust in your own inner voice.

8) Every single day is a blessing.

9) Nothing lasts forever, this too shall pass.

10) People will come into your life and people will leave your life, let them.

11) You are beautiful just the way you are, believe it! No one knows your heart like you do.

12) Work hard, go that extra mile but play hard too.

13) Nature offers peace every single day and in every single season.

14) Animals have incredible souls and are capable of the most love and loyalty.

15) Writers write.

16) Estrangement is strange. It isn’t normal and there are no winners.

17) Trust someone the first time they reveal themselves to you.

18) Marriage requires ongoing efforts and commitment grounded in genuine love and care.

19) Surround yourself with people, places and things that you love. Create your own beautiful life.

20) I was a shy kid that stuttered; today I could debate with the best. Where you start is just a start.

21) Never ever give up on yourself.

22) Campy as it sounds, “Into each life, some rain must fall.”

23) Learn from it and then get over it!

24) Beauty exists everywhere and so does ugliness.

25) Good people can and do make bad mistakes.

26) You are not defined by one person, one experience or single life event.

27) Everything that seems bad really can be turned around and into something good.

28) Be a life-long learner. There is always something new to learn.

29) Gratitude is an attitude.

30) Life goes on …

31) God is good. In an ever changing world God is my salvation.

32) Family is so much more than blood; it is the people that love, support and see the best in you.

33) Girlfriend time is always time well spent.

34) Stress less. Pray more and worry less.

35) Eat the good foods and exercise. Life is about balance.

36) Make love, lots and lots of love.

37) Negative people are just that, negative.

38) Take the time to get to know yourself and always be your own best friend.

39) There is a big difference between being alone and being lonely.

40) Peace is always possible.

41) Stability doesn’t have to be boring.

42) Make something build something bake something create more. Just do it.

43) Build on a solid foundation.

44) Embrace change. Don’t fight it be open to new things, new people and new experiences.

45) Painful lessons are lasting lessons.

46) Pretty comes and pretty goes but being nice will last forever.

47) Share as much as possible but don’t allow yourself to be taken for granted.

48) Hatred and anger doesn’t look good on anyone. Not ever.

49) Forgive but don’t forget.

50) Not everything ends with “happy ever after” but that doesn’t mean your happiness has to end.

51) Give back! Every single person has something to offer.

52) Never wrestle with a pig, because you will both get dirty and the pig likes it.

53) We all have a birth date and a death date, no one gets out alive. Enjoy everything in between.

54) Getting old is a gift, cherish it.

55) Wisdom is born with age.

56) Breathe. Take long deep breathes.

57) Most things can be cured with a long hot bubble bath, a cup of tea or a glass of wine and a big warm embracing hug!

BONUS!

#58 Just because someone said it, doesn’t make it true.

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

All books by Bernadette A. Moyer on Amazon and Barnes & Noble

Don’t Tug That War

Standard

Don’t Tug That War
By Bernadette A. Moyer

peace by bernadette

Remember tug of war, that game where two sides came together and who ever tugged hardest won? It was a battle of might putting two sides against one another to determine a “winner” the winner being the team that literally dragged the other side over to their side.

There are people in life that enjoy this game; they thrive on building their team and then literally trying to drag you through the mud so that their side wins.

Just a few days after her 50 year old daughter “Jane” (not her real name) was found dead in her bed her mother called me. The mother was living in Las Vegas and her daughter in Baltimore, they had been estranged for many years and even when they were in communication it was a difficult relationship.

The mother said “I am damned if I do and damned if I don’t. I will be talked about if I show up for the funeral and I will be talked about if I don’t show up. I don’t really have the money for the flight so I have decided not to come.”

I told her I understood and how difficult a decision it must have been for her. This was her mother, a mother who already had a daughter die at age 29, a mother that tried to understand this second daughter who almost always tried to create a tug of war with her mother. This was the mother who brought “Jane” into the world, the mother who raised “Jane” and the same mother who now has to grieve her daughter’s untimely death.

As I am writing this I hear from my “Soul Sister” Gwen who brings a great word to me “release” and how we must learn to release things, situations, events and people that only want to hurt us. Gwen talked about nature and the animals and how they are set free.

Release, think about that for a minute so what could you release and set free that is not healthy and is harming you? (Thanks Gwen I will definitely be meditating on “release” today, what a gift you are to me!)

And what about the game tug of war? What happens if you decide that you are not interested in playing and you don’t tug back?

Recently I told my husband that if I had to do it again, I wouldn’t have pushed our kids so hard to succeed. His immediate response was, “but that’s what parents do!”

Today I think more and more about accepting people and situations as they are and not as I have so often chosen to view them through rose colored glasses. Always wanting to see their highest potential and pushing and coaching for them to be their best.

The easiest way to peace is to give up the resistance, accept it, leave it, release it and don’t tug that war!

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer
All books by Bernadette A. Moyer on Amazon and Barnes & Noble