By Bernadette A. Moyer


Understanding as a noun is defined as the ability to understand something: comprehension and are synonymous with comprehension, grasp, and mastery.

When used as an adjective sympathetically aware of other people feelings: tolerant and forgiving. Synonyms are compassionate, sympathetic, sensitive, considerate, tender, kind, thoughtful, tolerant, patient, forbearing, lenient, merciful, forgiving, humane, approachable, supportive and perceptive. Understanding is also defined as having insight and good judgement.

So after reading all that, who would not want to have more understanding?

There is no question we are living in a time of fear, anger and judgements and I have to question if that serves any of us well?

I never had any hatred toward my parents, not ever, and that didn’t mean they didn’t do things that I didn’t like. I might have had an occasion to be disappointed in them but I always tried to understand them. This served me well in never having to carry the burdens of anger and judgements and hatred.

Some of my father’s behaviors were questionable to me, so I tried harder to understand him. I could never have at age18 entered into the service during the Korean War like he did. I could and would never know what it feels like to have an enemy shoot at me and want to kill me all the while living in a foreign country. And yet as a teenager, this was my father’s reality. As a child, just a little boy he experienced the death of his seven year old brother. Again he lived through an experience that I never had but always tried to understand how that formed him and his life and contributed to making him the man that he was and that I knew and loved.

My mother was more of a mystery to me. She had what appeared to be a large loving family with six siblings and parents that loved each other and worked hard for their family. She was intelligent and highly educated. The mystery for me was why a woman who appeared to have so much going for her also had a history with men that were abusive to her. I still don’t understand it yet I know that it is true. What happened to her? I truly can’t answer that but I always tried to understand her. For me it was harder to love her because as much as I tried, I didn’t really understand her.


Today there are so many adult children that have decided to judge their parents so harshly; I witness it every single day in my support group. For me the take away is so clear, these kids have absolutely no desire to understand their parents and what formed them. And it is so sad, because they too will one day require understanding. We all do.

Prayer of Saint Francis Lyrics

Lord make me an instrument of your peace
Where there is hatred let me sow love
Where there is injury pardon
Where there is doubt faith
Where there is despair hope
Where there is darkness light
And where there is sadness joy
Oh divine grant that I may
Not seek to be consoled as to console;
To be understood as to understand;
To be loved as to love
For it is in giving that we receive
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life

Today I pray for a world and for a life that includes more and more understanding and less and less criticism and judgement.

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

Along The Way and Another Way books on Amazon and Barnes & Noble

At Peace


At Peace
By Bernadette A. Moyer

peace quote 2

“Do I need to be right or do I need peace?” Oprah

What does it take to arrive at peace and then to maintain that peace? Life changes, people change and we change.

Today as I write this I am totally at peace and yet there have been numerous times in my life when I was not living in a peace-filled state. So what has changed? I did.

I know when I am right and that is good enough for me. I don’t need someone else to bless my truth or to fight my truth; it’s enough for me to know it. And like most people I know when I am not right too. Experience is always the greatest teacher.

I no longer get sucked into other people’s drama and their story. Older and wiser, it probably is some of that but also life experience. Knowing who we are and standing in our own truth allows the insults and judgements of others to just roll off. People will love you and hold you in high regard and others will find fault, if we allow others to judge us we will live in a constant state of shift, swing and change. It can be painful to have someone that we love or loved judge us harshly, but most often when we take that healthy step back, it becomes clear that it isn’t about us.

The people that need to make another look badly do so to try and elevate themselves. This is a sad truth. Love yourself today! Taking care of yourself helps you to feel as good can and maintain inner peace, regardless of what may be going on externally.


Protect yourself and protect your peace. Not every situation is one that we should engage. Sometimes knowing where to side-step a situation will in the end help us to maintain our peace. There will be conflict, there will be noise; there will be situations that test our peace. But we have a choice and our choice is what we do for ourselves and what we do to remain; at peace.

Peace be with you …

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

Along The Way and Another Way by Bernadette A. Moyer available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble