57 Things I Learned in My 57 Years

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57 Things I Learned in My 57 Years
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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1) My life and my happiness is my responsibility, period.

2) Kids will come and kids will go, build a life that is meaningful long after their departure.

3) Don’t take it personally, nothing other people do is because of you, it is because of them.

4) Gather as much information as you can and then make informed decisions.

5) Pick the guy who believes in you, supports you, loves you and thinks you are beautiful.

6) Bad boys are just that, bad.

7) Trust few but always trust in your own inner voice.

8) Every single day is a blessing.

9) Nothing lasts forever, this too shall pass.

10) People will come into your life and people will leave your life, let them.

11) You are beautiful just the way you are, believe it! No one knows your heart like you do.

12) Work hard, go that extra mile but play hard too.

13) Nature offers peace every single day and in every single season.

14) Animals have incredible souls and are capable of the most love and loyalty.

15) Writers write.

16) Estrangement is strange. It isn’t normal and there are no winners.

17) Trust someone the first time they reveal themselves to you.

18) Marriage requires ongoing efforts and commitment grounded in genuine love and care.

19) Surround yourself with people, places and things that you love. Create your own beautiful life.

20) I was a shy kid that stuttered; today I could debate with the best. Where you start is just a start.

21) Never ever give up on yourself.

22) Campy as it sounds, “Into each life, some rain must fall.”

23) Learn from it and then get over it!

24) Beauty exists everywhere and so does ugliness.

25) Good people can and do make bad mistakes.

26) You are not defined by one person, one experience or single life event.

27) Everything that seems bad really can be turned around and into something good.

28) Be a life-long learner. There is always something new to learn.

29) Gratitude is an attitude.

30) Life goes on …

31) God is good. In an ever changing world God is my salvation.

32) Family is so much more than blood; it is the people that love, support and see the best in you.

33) Girlfriend time is always time well spent.

34) Stress less. Pray more and worry less.

35) Eat the good foods and exercise. Life is about balance.

36) Make love, lots and lots of love.

37) Negative people are just that, negative.

38) Take the time to get to know yourself and always be your own best friend.

39) There is a big difference between being alone and being lonely.

40) Peace is always possible.

41) Stability doesn’t have to be boring.

42) Make something build something bake something create more. Just do it.

43) Build on a solid foundation.

44) Embrace change. Don’t fight it be open to new things, new people and new experiences.

45) Painful lessons are lasting lessons.

46) Pretty comes and pretty goes but being nice will last forever.

47) Share as much as possible but don’t allow yourself to be taken for granted.

48) Hatred and anger doesn’t look good on anyone. Not ever.

49) Forgive but don’t forget.

50) Not everything ends with “happy ever after” but that doesn’t mean your happiness has to end.

51) Give back! Every single person has something to offer.

52) Never wrestle with a pig, because you will both get dirty and the pig likes it.

53) We all have a birth date and a death date, no one gets out alive. Enjoy everything in between.

54) Getting old is a gift, cherish it.

55) Wisdom is born with age.

56) Breathe. Take long deep breathes.

57) Most things can be cured with a long hot bubble bath, a cup of tea or a glass of wine and a big warm embracing hug!

BONUS!

#58 Just because someone said it, doesn’t make it true.

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

All books by Bernadette A. Moyer on Amazon and Barnes & Noble

New Eyes

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New Eyes
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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Some things only become clear to us after they pass and after they are said and done. Funny at different times in our lives we may view the same situation and see it through different lenses and “new eyes.” I think most people could look back on their life and recall different scenarios when they felt that they were young and dumb. Hindsight is always 20/20 vision.

“Don’t criticize what you can’t understand.” Bob Dylan

Some of us did things that with a little life experience we would never do again. Or we learned from our mistakes. We all grow up and we all change and grow. Life has a way of handing us the lessons we need to learn whether we want to learn them at all. Some people need to learn the hard way, others can learn from what they witness in people that they know and others in the world.

Changing our views on things in life can be about maturity and about having new and updated information. When our hearts change so often does our vision.

“A man sees in the world what he carries in his heart.” Goethe

As we age we learn that when we are open to “new eyes” all things in life can take on a new appreciation for us. That‘s the beauty of life; the willingness to see things differently not only as the world changes but as we change and learn and grow.

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Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer
All books by Bernadette A. Moyer on Amazon and Barnes & Noble

Autumn Shows Us

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Autumn Shows Us
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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The season is changing and so are we! Autumn leaves show us exactly how beautiful it is to let go and let live and let die. What can you let go of? What can you make room for? The seasons change and so do we. We change how we dress and what we eat and we change what we do and where we go.

I remember as a little girl listening to a song that my father liked it was called Autumn of My Life by Bobby Goldsboro. He sings “and I’m content in the Autumn of my life.”

“Autumn the wind blows colder than the summer, Autumn my loves gone with another. Did you ever lose something that you thought you knew, did you ever lose someone that was close to you?” From the song Autumn written by Edgar Winter.

The seasonal changes teach us so much about life and about letting go and living in each and every moment. The seasons pass and eventually so will we.

I want to celebrate this autumn with leaves, and sweaters and hot cider and apples and pies. I want to celebrate it with open windows and with warm beef stew. But more than that I want to celebrate by reminding myself there is a season for everything and a time and a passing.

What is important now? What do we need to do to prepare our homes, our families and ourselves for what is directly in front of us? Seasons change and so do I, and so do you. Time waits for no man.

Every Autumn represents the letting go of and making room for all that is next in the life cycle. In living our lives much like the same way that the leaves change colors and eventually fall away, so it will affirm for us again and again how life changes just like the seasons change.

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In each decision that we make; we must consider our life and how it not only defines us but impacts those that are closest to us.

Each day I pray to God for the wisdom as to what I give my time and attention, and asking for His help for me to be busy with the right things and to give my best to those things. Amen.

Autumn gives us so much to embrace and also so much to let go …

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

All books available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble

And Then We Die …

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And Then We Die …
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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But have we truly lived? We all know that death is a definite, no one escapes it! If I live to be 100, I will only have known and experienced 100 summers and 100 Christmas holidays. It doesn’t seem like that is a whole lot so I have tried my best to live as full of a life as I can live.

When I was widowed at just 23 years old, I learned how quickly and unexpectedly life can be taken away. Through the years I have encountered people who when they learn this fact say, “oh I am sorry.” But for me it was a huge gift. It drove home for me how precious life is and that I wanted to get the full experience out of every single day and every single experience. I learned NOT to take anything for granted, our time here is not a given and it is limited.

I learned to appreciate the here and the now. My husband was also left at just 32 years old, when his wife Stacey unexpectedly died. Together we are mature beyond our years and often associate with people that are much older than us. Our peer group never really got it. Why would they? When I was 23 and declared a “widow” my peers were immersed in living while I was trying to comprehend death.

This “gift” has strengthened my faith in God, my understanding of life and of death. Initially when it first happened I couldn’t understand it. Then one of my older work associates stated, “Find a tree and visit that tree. Visit it in the spring and the summer and then again in the fall and the winter. That is life and that is death.” I learned this almost 30 years ago and it has been the view of life that I have come to understand. We are living and then we die just like that tree I visited in every season and every stage of its life.

When my first husband Randy died I had the following poem, Comes the Dawn, read at his funeral in 1983. I still live by it today. He was the one who shared it with me and it wasn’t that long before his passing that he shared it. Although his death was accidental and unexpected, I have often thought to have shared this with me, he might have known he was coming close to the end of his life and it was his way of saying good-bye.

Comes the Dawn

After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul
And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning
And company doesn’t mean security

And you begin to understand that kisses aren’t contracts
And presents aren’t promises
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head held high and your eyes wide open

With the grace of a man, not the grief of a child
You learn to build your roads
On today, because tomorrows ground
Is uncertain for plans

And futures have a way of going down in mid-flight
After a while you learn that even sunshine
Burns if you get too much
So you plant your own garden and decorate
Your own soul, instead of waiting
For someone else to bring you flowers

And you learn that you really can endure
That you really are strong
And you really do have worth
And you learn and learn … and you learn
With every good-bye you learn

(Author Unknown)

Through the years, people have told me, “Your life is so interesting!” Some of it is by design and some of it is purely by life circumstances. However, I can and do appreciate it all. I do my best to squeeze every moment of life out of this life, this life that God has given to me.

As much as we know that death is coming nothing really prepares us for it, or for the loss of the people that we eventually lose to death. My mother was famous for saying, “We live in hope and we die in despair.” I don’t know how I will die but I do know that I do live in hope. I hope and I pray for love, for health, for understanding, for compassion amongst other things and I hope and I pray that when my time ends here on earth I will know that I have lived fully and with few if any regrets.

And as much as I know that I want to live, and to live for as long as I can, and with as much zest and exuberance as I can, I also know “and then we die.”

So let us all live and live fully and with no regrets …

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

Books by Bernadette on Amazon and Barnes and Noble

Glory Be To God

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Glory Be To God
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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God is good! God is great! I am so very thankful for my faith in God, I have lived long enough to know, that for me, without my faith in God, I may not have survived. And not only have I survived, but I thrived and often in the face of much adversity.

If you are not a God person or a faith filled person, this blog may not be for you and so be it. As a writer I have opened myself up to both compliment and criticism, I have been chastised by some who are angered by my faith and I have been blessed by those that concur with me. I hold no harm to non-believers and I fully appreciate that not everyone has faith nor believes in a God. But I do have faith and for me God has always been an integral part of my life.

God was with me when things went my way and when they came easily to me He was also there with me and for me when I struggled. I was lucky that I never felt alone as I had faith and I had God.

I can also see where many people are turned off by faith and religion and yes a God. When people that protest to be faith-filled and yet act in unloving and uncaring ways, I too have struggled with what some religious have done in the name of God, things that no man should do to any others. So I understand when people are hesitant and skeptical. I get it.

All I can do is speak from my heart and from my own experiences. I learned about God as a child but I didn’t fully appreciate His value in my life until I struggled as a fully matured adult. God was there for me! He is with us when we shine on our very best days and also with us when we feel the darkness of defeat and hurts and loses.

As my life matures I am more and more convinced that I am not alone, there is a force that lives deep within me, a higher power, a conscience and a voice that comes from God. For me there is no other way, it works!

When faced with situations and with people that act in ungodly ways, I do my best to try and see the face of God in them. We may never fully appreciate what others are going through and what is happening in their lives but when we have faith and when we have God, we know that everything here on earth is a blessing.

Even the darkest days and the darkest moments can be turned around to find their blessings! We are alive, we are here, we are breathing and until we take our last breath it is not over.

Earlier today I watched two people in public pray together in public before they ate their lunch. A simple act and yet one that we don’t witness often these days, prayers for their meal that they were about to share together, it meant something to them and to me as I passed by their table.

For some people God seems to have lost fashion here in America and yet I personally can’t imagine living my own life without the presence of God. Life is tough enough and having faith and having God just makes it so much less difficult for me.

Glory be to God! It’s Sunday and I am happy and blessed and filled with faith and love for God above. It sounds so simple and for me it truly is … live and let God in … and you just may find if you haven’t already that life is sweeter and lovely and better with faith, hope and yes God.

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

Books by Bernadette are available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble

Our Children Are Not Placed Here

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Our Children Are Not Placed Here
By Bernadette A. Moyer

 

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Our children are not placed here to please us
Or to make us proud
It is not their job to complete us
Or to go along with what we need or want
Or feel is best for them or us

Our parents are not placed here to please us
Or to make us proud
It is not their job to complete us
Or to go along with what we need or want
Or feel is best for them or us

We strive for love and we strive for acceptance
We strive to be understood and we strive to understand

Did we receive the child we hoped for
And/or the child that God alone gave to us

Did we receive the parents we wished for
And/or the parents that God alone gave to us

Our children are not placed here to please us
Or to make us proud
Our parents are not placed here to please us
Or to make us proud

Oh … but isn’t life easier and oh so sweet when they do …

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer
New books! Along The Way and Another Way on Amazon and Barnes and Noble

Beautiful Things

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Beautiful Things
By Bernadette A. Moyer

 

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In a world that can be filled with ugly and with hatred, I make the choice to surround myself with beautiful things and with beautiful people. When I see the anger and the hatred and the killing in this country and around the world I do my best not to give it more attention. Instead I combat the ugly with beauty.

There is beauty every single place here on earth. It exists in people and it exists in places and it exists in things. As I filled my paper cup with coffee the man standing next to me, a complete stranger handed me a cup holder and said, “You are going to need this!” The coffee was so hot and he was right. But what he was in that moment in time was kind and beautiful and thoughtful. His actions may be minor but as I reflected upon his kindness I thought how easy it is to be kind and in turn beautiful.

Every morning when I awake I walk around our home and take in the flowers. I enjoy see the beauty in the new blooms and what is growing and green. I think it would be difficult to be depressed or suicidal or angry and destructive if you were surrounded by beauty? Wouldn’t it? And I may not bring about world peace but I can start with my own little world that is steeped in beautiful things, people and places.

“In all ranks of life the human heart yearns for the beautiful; and the beautiful things that God makes are his gift to all alike.” Harriet Beecher Stowe

We can all appreciate beauty and we can all create beauty. Like most things in life, it is our choice.

My environment that includes my family and my friends are all so attractive and beautiful to me. I see beauty in the faces of my closest inner circle. I see beauty in the faces of my two precious pooches. I seek beauty. I seek it in the places that I frequent and in the people that I share my life with. I seek beauty in words and in deeds. I seek beauty in art in all its many forms. I seek beauty in music and in thoughts.

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And yes beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. So my mission today like every single day and my challenge to you my readers, look for beautiful things and you are sure to find them. Be on a mission to create beautiful things. Be on a mission to be a beautiful thing.

The only way I know to combat the ugly and the hatred and the violence is to showcase our beauty. Our inner beauty and our outward beauty can do more to combat the ugly in this world than any other measures.

When we feel good and when we feel beautiful we set the stage for even more beauty. Be a beautiful act, be a beautiful cause, be a beautiful heart, be a beautiful soul and in turn you are sure to be a beautiful human being.

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

New books! Along The Way and Another Way on Amazon and Barnes and Noble