Gardening Teaches Us

Standard

Gardening Teaches Us
By Bernadette A. Moyer

vegetable garden

There are so many life lessons that are learned in the garden. Some are so simplistic and others much more complex. Like a flower that needs lots of water and sunlight and another variety that does better in shade and dry soil. Each flower, each planting has its own specific needs.

We learn how water and sun create some of the most beautiful green plants. We learn that a specific growth in a planting is a result or more and sometimes less amounts of acidic soil. The garden teaches us the importance of cutting back and weeding. Some of us talk to our plants, after all they are living things.

Each year I marvel at the plants that naturally return every season and the ones that I start new from seeds. Each plant and flower tell us their own story. Depending on the time of day and the time of year each plant has a different look.

I grew up on a small farm in Northeast Pennsylvania that was once an orchard. That farm taught me about fruited trees and growing food such as tomatoes, potatoes and more. To be a good gardener you have to be a good nurturer and in touch with different types of plants, their needs and requirements for their very survival and existence.

Roses can be tricky they require lots of water and sunlight and they are also magnets for disease and leaf eating insects. It can be a delicate balancing act and yet every year when they are cut back and survive a cold harsh winter, it can be amazing to witness them return to life in the spring.

There are so many life lessons that we learn in our gardens. Every plant is a living thing that requires different kinds of care, much like the people in our lives. People and relationships that thrive and survive under different care, nurturing and circumstance. Others like our flowers and plantings that just don’t survive and thrive at all.

Our gardens are a place where we learn many valuable life lessons just like we are afforded in all of our relationships. What works for one might not work for all. Some of my fruits and vegetables are attacked by animals and never make it to maturity. We see that happen in life too. Where a life is altered and changed by others that it encountered along the way.

I find peace, love and joy in my garden just like what I seek out in all my relationships. Like a garden that needs love, light and to be nurtured so do the relationships that we hold near and dear.

Happy gardening … happy life …

Bernadette A. Moyer on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer
Books by Bernadette A. Moyer on Amazon and Barnes & Noble

Does Not Come With Instructions

Standard

Does Not Come With Instructions
By Bernadette A. Moyer

instructions

None of our relationships come with “instructions” we just wing it. We live and we learn. Some things work with some people and somethings don’t. Just like with our children each child grows and develops differently. Every child has different needs and different personalities.

What I have learned with most people is that the ones who are most happy are also the same ones that are most appreciative and thankful. It doesn’t matter how much or how little they have, or how much or little they have been given, they appreciate it all, and are grateful and therefore happy.

The unhappy among us are also the ones who never appreciate anything or anyone and have a sense of entitlement. How can you be happy? When you feel like the world owes you? When your focus is on what you didn’t get or don’t have rather than what you do have and what was given to you?

When we learn to appreciate everything even the most difficult situations, even the most painful loses and turn them around to see the lessons learned we can move from hurt, pain and loss to an attitude of gratitude for having experienced them. We are alive, we feel, we learn and we live.

And if our relationships came with “instructions” would we read them? Even want them? Today, as I write this, I look out my window to green grass, sunshine, bunny rabbits running around and little birds that are chirping. How could I not be thankful and appreciative and therefore happy to be alive.

There isn’t a little book of “instructions” we live and we learn … and our life is truly happier when we learn to appreciate it all.

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer
Books by Bernadette A. Moyer on Amazon and Barnes & Noble

Rise Above It

Standard

Rise Above It
By Bernadette A. Moyer

rise

As a kid growing up this was one of many mantra’s that my mother tried to teach us, “rise above it” and she meant whatever “it “was.

Every single one of us has “stuff” things that aren’t perfect about us or perfect in our lives. No one is perfect and no one has a perfect life. Part of the challenge in life is how we handle ourselves and our situations at any given time.

We are always afforded the choice to “rise above it” and with every choice in doing so we gain confidence in ourselves and are able to love, nurture, grow and gain in the process.

We can go low or we can rise up … each and every response creates a different set of consequences. We are only ever responsible for our own actions. What other people do is always all about themselves.

Rise above it! Rise above it! Rise above it! When we do this our life, our world, our self-esteem and our self-worth all rise too.

Remember not one of us is perfect and yet when we make the choice to rise about it we become perfectly attuned and at peace.

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

Books by Bernadette A. Moyer on Amazon and Barnes & Noble

What To Believe

Standard

What To Believe
By Bernadette A. Moyer

believe

What to believe … in a world full of division, opinions, varied motivations, self-interest and more, it becomes more and more challenging to know the truth tellers from the false narratives. That is why it is so important to know who you are and to be true to yourself.

The older I become the more I am convinced that people believe what they want to believe regardless of their sources or any investment in searching for the absolute truth. Simply put if it fits their narrative, it becomes their truth.

If we say it, it must be true, right? Wrong? I guess it depends on who is saying it and what is motivating them. There are always many sides to every story and many ways to view a single act or many acts.

I was thinking about old sayings like “God helps those who help themselves” and how important trust and honesty is to the richness and depth of any real relationship. Relationships can only go deep if they are rooted in trust and honesty.

What we believe becomes our truth and our reality. If we believe we will succeed in life, we will. If we believe we will fail in life, we will. Our minds truly are the computer system for our bodies, what goes in is what comes out.

In 2017, I evaluated my life, my work, my friends and my family. I drew closer the ones that enriched my life. I pulled back and away from people and from places that didn’t add anything positive. It was more than therapeutic.

believe1

I learned how much I value my own company, how easy my life unfolds when it does so naturally. I spent less time trying to “rescue” others and more time becoming a better person. In all this re-evaluation has served me well. I feel great. One of the great lessons recently learned was understanding that someone else’s anger, upsets and disappointments is about them and has zero to do with me.

Even the most negative things in life, can be turned around and into something positive, it we want it. Each one of us is capable of turning a negative into a positive. Each one of us decides to be happy or sad or mad or glad.

My marriage and my inner circle of friends are richer, more loving and more supportive than ever. My career and my business has refreshed and renewed itself with many new additions and the excitement that naturally follows good works.

I believe that 2018 will be a banner year both personally and professionally and I know that because with the right amount of efforts, my continued support group and with the hand of God on my back, the sky truly is the limit … ASK, BELIEVE, RECEIVE … it works!

Oh what to believe … believe in all that is good and plant those good “seeds” in a rich environment with the proper water and light and watch them grow.

Here is to a fabulous, fantastic, loving, rich, healthy and abundant year filled with love and peace for all of us!

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

Along The Way and Another Way by Bernadette A. Moyer on Amazon and Barnes & Noble

Know Your Value

Standard

Know Your Value
By Bernadette A. Moyer

value

“Self-worth is so vital to your happiness. If you don’t feel good about YOU, it’s hard to feel good about anything else.” Sandy Hall

Know your value and know your worth, if you don’t see your value how could or would someone else? Sometimes in life, you have to take a stand that others may not like or appreciate but the truth is that at the end of the day, you could compromise your value away if you don’t stand strong.

Every single person alive has value and worth but like most things it starts with self-worth. If we don’t value ourselves most likely others won’t value us either. Never allow someone else to de-value you for their own gain and narrative. Stand strong and always, always know your value.

You weren’t put here on this earth to be anything less than your best or to live life without being true to yourself. If someone else can’t or won’t see your worth, move on, that door isn’t your door anyway. You will never be your best or come to your full potential surrounded by people that disrespect you, don’t appreciate you and are unable or unwilling to see your worth.

In every situation and in every relationship, it is up to us to know our value. Don’t compromise your set of values to fit into places where you don’t belong. If you do you will regret diminishing your own self-worth and in the end have handed over any possibility of other people seeing your true value.

Self-worth: “The ability to comprehend and accept my true value –To understand I am more than my mind, body, emotions and behaviors. To see myself as God sees me, to accept His love for me and to learn to love myself in a like manner.” Dr. Christina Hibbert

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facbook.com/bernadetteamoyer

Along The Way and Another Way available on Amazon and Barnes Noble

57 Things I Learned in My 57 Years

Standard

57 Things I Learned in My 57 Years
By Bernadette A. Moyer

mepic

1) My life and my happiness is my responsibility, period.

2) Kids will come and kids will go, build a life that is meaningful long after their departure.

3) Don’t take it personally, nothing other people do is because of you, it is because of them.

4) Gather as much information as you can and then make informed decisions.

5) Pick the guy who believes in you, supports you, loves you and thinks you are beautiful.

6) Bad boys are just that, bad.

7) Trust few but always trust in your own inner voice.

8) Every single day is a blessing.

9) Nothing lasts forever, this too shall pass.

10) People will come into your life and people will leave your life, let them.

11) You are beautiful just the way you are, believe it! No one knows your heart like you do.

12) Work hard, go that extra mile but play hard too.

13) Nature offers peace every single day and in every single season.

14) Animals have incredible souls and are capable of the most love and loyalty.

15) Writers write.

16) Estrangement is strange. It isn’t normal and there are no winners.

17) Trust someone the first time they reveal themselves to you.

18) Marriage requires ongoing efforts and commitment grounded in genuine love and care.

19) Surround yourself with people, places and things that you love. Create your own beautiful life.

20) I was a shy kid that stuttered; today I could debate with the best. Where you start is just a start.

21) Never ever give up on yourself.

22) Campy as it sounds, “Into each life, some rain must fall.”

23) Learn from it and then get over it!

24) Beauty exists everywhere and so does ugliness.

25) Good people can and do make bad mistakes.

26) You are not defined by one person, one experience or single life event.

27) Everything that seems bad really can be turned around and into something good.

28) Be a life-long learner. There is always something new to learn.

29) Gratitude is an attitude.

30) Life goes on …

31) God is good. In an ever changing world God is my salvation.

32) Family is so much more than blood; it is the people that love, support and see the best in you.

33) Girlfriend time is always time well spent.

34) Stress less. Pray more and worry less.

35) Eat the good foods and exercise. Life is about balance.

36) Make love, lots and lots of love.

37) Negative people are just that, negative.

38) Take the time to get to know yourself and always be your own best friend.

39) There is a big difference between being alone and being lonely.

40) Peace is always possible.

41) Stability doesn’t have to be boring.

42) Make something build something bake something create more. Just do it.

43) Build on a solid foundation.

44) Embrace change. Don’t fight it be open to new things, new people and new experiences.

45) Painful lessons are lasting lessons.

46) Pretty comes and pretty goes but being nice will last forever.

47) Share as much as possible but don’t allow yourself to be taken for granted.

48) Hatred and anger doesn’t look good on anyone. Not ever.

49) Forgive but don’t forget.

50) Not everything ends with “happy ever after” but that doesn’t mean your happiness has to end.

51) Give back! Every single person has something to offer.

52) Never wrestle with a pig, because you will both get dirty and the pig likes it.

53) We all have a birth date and a death date, no one gets out alive. Enjoy everything in between.

54) Getting old is a gift, cherish it.

55) Wisdom is born with age.

56) Breathe. Take long deep breathes.

57) Most things can be cured with a long hot bubble bath, a cup of tea or a glass of wine and a big warm embracing hug!

BONUS!

#58 Just because someone said it, doesn’t make it true.

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

All books by Bernadette A. Moyer on Amazon and Barnes & Noble

New Zealand

Standard

New Zealand
By Bernadette A. Moyer

New Zealand, 2006

We never know. We never know when we write who our words will touch. As a writer who writes about life and takes the advice of many famous writers when they state “write about what you know” and I do. Recently I read another bloggers article that touched me deeply; I felt that I could have written every single word myself. Not only did I feel this way but my son and another friend thought it was me too. Thanks Renata! Well said! We are connected because we share a life experience, we are connected because we are mothers, we are connected because we have adult children that have estranged.

A few weeks ago I received a message from a reader who lives in New Zealand and this is what she shared with me; “You’ve become like a spokesperson, an advocate, a voice for us – all over the planet. Just knowing that someone else a mother, a friend, has experienced similar and can articulate those feelings so well … I’ve appreciated very much your openness and honesty …”

We chatted more about the weather and the time difference from where I reside in the United States and where she lives in New Zealand. Our exchange left an impression how nice to be “appreciated” and so great to feel the human connection from so far away.

Given the choice I would never have estrangement in my life but sadly it is a big part of my life story and I am thankful that any good can come from it. We never know when we open up and share just where our connections will take us!

Thanks New Zealand for reading me and for writing to me … you matter to me …

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

All books by Bernadette A. Moyer on Amazon and Barnes & Noble