election

Shamed Into Silence

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Shamed Into Silence
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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“Shame is the most powerful, master emotion. It’s the fear that we’re not good enough.” Brene Brown

You will never understand unless you are willing to listen! All during this past Presidential campaign I watched and witnessed the direct and not so direct attacks made upon anyone that openly supported Donald Trump. All that did was to drive his supporters into a silent majority of people that were unwilling to risk the attacks by being honest. They never let the opposing side hear their true thoughts and feelings. They were literally shamed into silence.

People and very dear friends came out with loud and open criticism, contempt and even distain for Trump supporters. Often laughing at them and even calling them stupid. While this was going on I thought about teenagers who often find it difficult to be open and honest with adults in their lives. They are exploring life and often doing things that they know their parents won’t like or will openly disapprove of and the end result is kids that are afraid of speaking their truths. They feel shamed into silence.

A few days ago a man was openly berated by a complete stranger who happened to be seated next to him on an airplane. She did not like it that he was “celebrating” our new President Donald Trump. Ultimately she was escorted off the airplane for her behaviors. I don’t think I ever witnessed anything so unattractive in my life as to how she treated him and how it was her way of thinking, period. They were complete strangers. Why did it matter to her that he held a different opinion than the ones that she held?

She was closed off to anyone that didn’t think and believe like she did. Her way of thinking was right and everyone else was deemed wrong. How does this happen? What good comes from the unwillingness to be civil to others that don’t think and act just as we do?

Through this past election cycle I lost some respect for people that I otherwise had a high opinion of and it wasn’t because of the side that they chose or the beliefs that they held, it was simply because when the election didn’t go their way just how unglued they became. It was shocking for me to witness. It seemed to me that it went well beyond being a sore loser. It was as if their way was the only way. Their thinking was the only way to think. Their open inability to accept the outcome and to adjust and adapt made me question who they were.

For many years I had a sense that the “media” was more like all editorial all the time. They seemed to have their own agenda and full of their own opinions. What bothered me most wasn’t even the position that they held but that my sense was they were contributing to what I call “lazy brained” telling everyone how to think and what to think and believe. Trying to do the thinking for others rather than giving them all the facts and allowing them to come to their own thought out conclusions. Lots and lots of manipulation seemed to be taking place.

I personally like hearing both sides of the story and then processing the information and coming to my own conclusion. I wasn’t the least bit surprised when Donald Trump won this past Presidential election. I knew many people and many groups of people that felt as though they were “shamed into silence” that they would be berated and laughed at for having a different idea or opinion of what was being reported in the main stream media.

I’ve always viewed myself as a strong independent woman both personally and professionally. At age 23 when my husband died leaving me with a 2 year daughter to raise I became I am woman hear me roar as I managed being “mom” and a career too. Later in life I held many executive positions as a professional career woman. I never once felt that because I was a woman I wasn’t just as capable as any man. It never occurred to me that I was somehow “lesser” because I was born female.

There is a lot going on today in society that I really don’t understand but I do believe one thing for sure, you will never appreciate another person views when you are unwilling to listen to them or to anyone who doesn’t think and believe just as you do.

And to me a large part of this presidential election outcome has to do with about half of the country feeling as though their voices and opinions didn’t count and largely went unheard.

When we shame people into silence we can’t act surprised, when they finally do speak …

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer
Books by Bernadette A. Moyer on Amazon and Barnes and Noble

The Agony of Defeat

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The Agony of Defeat, Post-Election 2012
By Bernadette A. Moyer

(Article was written four years ago after the Presidential election, you can change the names for today, how much else has really changed?)

It has been about a week now since the 2012 Presidential election and we have our “winner” and we know who lost too. I can’t imagine what it must feel like to give it your all in such a huge public way and then not reach your intended goal and become President of the United States of America. I believe Mitt Romney when he said, “Paul Ryan and I left it all on the field.” I believe they gave it their all and in the end it wasn’t what the majority of the people wanted.

I am a registered Republican and I voted for Mitt Romney, I supported him the last go round too when he was my pic over John McCain in the primary before McCain got it. Romney always seemed so Reagan like to me. I liked his large family and I thought he would have been the right choice to help turn our economy around. I thought we needed a business minded man with a proven track record on what it takes to run a business.

Whether we like it or not, our President is running a business with a budget, even though they have not set and balanced a budget in years. Our country would be so much better off if we didn’t spend more than what we take in. Most American families get this, they live on a budget. You can’t spend more than you have and expect that there won’t be an adverse consequence for that kind of spending.

Even though I am conservative in many ways, I probably could be labeled as liberal when it comes to some of the social issues. I believe our government should stay out of everyone’s bedroom, straight, gay, abortion or pro-life. To me these are personal choices. I lead what may appear to be a very conservative life style, my husband and I tease each other that we are a “dying breed” since we are an all-white heterosexual couple, one man and one woman in a traditional marriage. This is the choice that works for us.

We have friends living in openly gay relationships and we respect them and their right to decide what is best for them. I don’t know anyone who has had an abortion that didn’t at some time feel some sort of regret after the fact. But I do know many women who believed at that time it was the right choice for them. Seems to me a far worse choice might be to have a pregnancy and a child that was unwanted, uncared for and unloved.

Most of us will never know what it feels like to go after such a huge goal like running for President, and engage all your friends and all your supporters to help you to achieve it. And then not make it. What does that morning after feel like? When you had such high hopes and aspirations and then it doesn’t work out for you?

Wouldn’t it be great if our newly elected President hired Mitt Romney to assist him with some of our “fiscal cliff” issues? Wouldn’t it be great if our leaders really did put all the people first and the best interests of our country ahead of their egos and hired the most qualified person for the job? If they could do this no matter what party they were affiliated with? We have come a long way in electing an African American as our President, we are a nation made up of many minority groups and they all should be celebrated and represented. I just hope and pray that during my lifetime we see a qualified woman in the White House too.

As a Monday morning quarterback all I would say to the Republican Party is this, when you present two white males as the President and the Vice President, when you try and lead with what is no longer the majority, you can’t act surprised when the majority of the people do not feel as though they personally have been represented.

It is our job now, no matter what political views we have, to come together for the common good and to find areas where we can compromise and thrive. We need a leader who can rally the troops and lead us as one nation, the United States of America; I pray that Barrack Obama is that leader.

And for the future I pray that we will see the first ever female President and/or Vice President!

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer
All books by Bernadette A. Moyer on Amazon and Barnes & Noble

One Vote!

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One Vote!
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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That is all we have just one vote per person and it is our voice! Wouldn’t it be great if every single person voted? Then all the votes were counted and the majority ruled? And even if your choice wasn’t the winner you got behind the winner for the greater good?

I see it and I read it and I hear it all, the political rants of all the people that post and those that share with me and even our news media, the talking heads. We used to have news outlets and now it seems we have all editorial all the time. Where I take offense to the media and their obvious slants is that they want us all to be “lazy-brained” and allow them to do the thinking for us.

Truth is that we all have but one vote. We should educate ourselves and come to our own conclusions about who we vote for and why they deserve our vote.  If you take a stand publicly you risk alienating 50% of the people, a sad fact.

Most people can’t and aren’t honest about their political views and the ones that are typically start with “you can unfriend me now” how sad it that?

Our political system has become sport with a person on both sides cheering on their team, maybe that is the problem, aren’t we all supposed to be on the same team? This is one country and we have one vote.

I truly hope everyone that is eligible and able will get out there and cast their vote … and when the votes are counted we remember that we are all on the same team, the United States of America … our vote … our voice …

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

Books by Bernadette A. Moyer on Amazon and Barnes & Noble