Keeping Positive During These Negative Times


Keeping Positive During These Negative Times
By Bernadette A. Moyer


Have you had enough yet? I have! I have stopped watching the news, all of it! I am tired of all the negativity from both sides.

Wow! The amount of disrespect for this President makes me sick inside. Whether you like him or not, we are one Country and he was elected. If this isn’t your choice then go do something productive and positive to change the course.

When I see people hold signage of hatred and signs that read “Resist” and “Not My President” all I can think of is how other countries must view us and then I think about all the childhood lessons we were taught about winning and losing. That being a “sore loser” just wasn’t an option. And more than that I think about little kids with eyes wide open that are seeing a culture of disrespect, disrespect from all sides on all issues and towards all kinds of people.

What am I going to do about it? I don’t even switch channels as not to give the hate media more exposure and more clicks. When friends and associates post things I can’t stomach I quickly scan by and sometimes even remove them and block them. You see to me the sounds and the signs of disrespect, hate, anger, ugly words used by people that I know looks badly on them and not at all on their intended targets. Sadly it makes me think less of them.

People that spew anger, hatred, ugly comments and sentiments only make themselves look bad, period. I don’t want any parts of it.

My husband comes home from work and says, “Did you hear about this or did you see that —?” and I am like no I haven’t I have decided to tune it all out.

So what am I feeding my heart and my soul these days?

• More music
• Longer walks in nature
• Candles
• Pretty pictures
• Bird watching
• Cooking
• Baking
• Cleaning
• Writing
• Hanging out with my fur babies
• Reading
• Journaling
• Prayers
• Home improvement projects
• Adult coloring books

I can’t control what anyone else says and does but I can control how I respond to it. I choose to deliberately put my peace and well-being above all the political noise. And that is exactly what it is nothing but noise!

How many wonderful things could you be doing with your time and with your life rather than spewing ugly words and derogatory statements when the truth is you don’t even have all the insider knowledge and facts? The information that you are currently receiving is coming to you by a bias media that has their own agenda. They don’t think we are smart enough to hear all the facts and then make our own decisions without them telling us how to think. No thanks!

Didn’t we all grow up with our parents teaching us that “if you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all!” Mine did good advice then and still good advice today.

If nothing else adults should stop and think if their behaviors are ones that little kids should ever witness? If the answer is “no” that might be a pretty good indication that no good comes from what you are doing and from any form of hate and anger.

Find a positive outlet for your upset, anger and disappointments and try to do something good and worthwhile. Please!

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Shamed Into Silence


Shamed Into Silence
By Bernadette A. Moyer


“Shame is the most powerful, master emotion. It’s the fear that we’re not good enough.” Brene Brown

You will never understand unless you are willing to listen! All during this past Presidential campaign I watched and witnessed the direct and not so direct attacks made upon anyone that openly supported Donald Trump. All that did was to drive his supporters into a silent majority of people that were unwilling to risk the attacks by being honest. They never let the opposing side hear their true thoughts and feelings. They were literally shamed into silence.

People and very dear friends came out with loud and open criticism, contempt and even distain for Trump supporters. Often laughing at them and even calling them stupid. While this was going on I thought about teenagers who often find it difficult to be open and honest with adults in their lives. They are exploring life and often doing things that they know their parents won’t like or will openly disapprove of and the end result is kids that are afraid of speaking their truths. They feel shamed into silence.

A few days ago a man was openly berated by a complete stranger who happened to be seated next to him on an airplane. She did not like it that he was “celebrating” our new President Donald Trump. Ultimately she was escorted off the airplane for her behaviors. I don’t think I ever witnessed anything so unattractive in my life as to how she treated him and how it was her way of thinking, period. They were complete strangers. Why did it matter to her that he held a different opinion than the ones that she held?

She was closed off to anyone that didn’t think and believe like she did. Her way of thinking was right and everyone else was deemed wrong. How does this happen? What good comes from the unwillingness to be civil to others that don’t think and act just as we do?

Through this past election cycle I lost some respect for people that I otherwise had a high opinion of and it wasn’t because of the side that they chose or the beliefs that they held, it was simply because when the election didn’t go their way just how unglued they became. It was shocking for me to witness. It seemed to me that it went well beyond being a sore loser. It was as if their way was the only way. Their thinking was the only way to think. Their open inability to accept the outcome and to adjust and adapt made me question who they were.

For many years I had a sense that the “media” was more like all editorial all the time. They seemed to have their own agenda and full of their own opinions. What bothered me most wasn’t even the position that they held but that my sense was they were contributing to what I call “lazy brained” telling everyone how to think and what to think and believe. Trying to do the thinking for others rather than giving them all the facts and allowing them to come to their own thought out conclusions. Lots and lots of manipulation seemed to be taking place.

I personally like hearing both sides of the story and then processing the information and coming to my own conclusion. I wasn’t the least bit surprised when Donald Trump won this past Presidential election. I knew many people and many groups of people that felt as though they were “shamed into silence” that they would be berated and laughed at for having a different idea or opinion of what was being reported in the main stream media.

I’ve always viewed myself as a strong independent woman both personally and professionally. At age 23 when my husband died leaving me with a 2 year daughter to raise I became I am woman hear me roar as I managed being “mom” and a career too. Later in life I held many executive positions as a professional career woman. I never once felt that because I was a woman I wasn’t just as capable as any man. It never occurred to me that I was somehow “lesser” because I was born female.

There is a lot going on today in society that I really don’t understand but I do believe one thing for sure, you will never appreciate another person views when you are unwilling to listen to them or to anyone who doesn’t think and believe just as you do.

And to me a large part of this presidential election outcome has to do with about half of the country feeling as though their voices and opinions didn’t count and largely went unheard.

When we shame people into silence we can’t act surprised, when they finally do speak …

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One Vote!


One Vote!
By Bernadette A. Moyer


That is all we have just one vote per person and it is our voice! Wouldn’t it be great if every single person voted? Then all the votes were counted and the majority ruled? And even if your choice wasn’t the winner you got behind the winner for the greater good?

I see it and I read it and I hear it all, the political rants of all the people that post and those that share with me and even our news media, the talking heads. We used to have news outlets and now it seems we have all editorial all the time. Where I take offense to the media and their obvious slants is that they want us all to be “lazy-brained” and allow them to do the thinking for us.

Truth is that we all have but one vote. We should educate ourselves and come to our own conclusions about who we vote for and why they deserve our vote.  If you take a stand publicly you risk alienating 50% of the people, a sad fact.

Most people can’t and aren’t honest about their political views and the ones that are typically start with “you can unfriend me now” how sad it that?

Our political system has become sport with a person on both sides cheering on their team, maybe that is the problem, aren’t we all supposed to be on the same team? This is one country and we have one vote.

I truly hope everyone that is eligible and able will get out there and cast their vote … and when the votes are counted we remember that we are all on the same team, the United States of America … our vote … our voice …

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What I Learned About Socialism


What I Learned About Socialism
By Bernadette A. Moyer


I learned about socialism when I was in the third grade and I learned it from twin boys that were my own age. Van and Yar along with their parents had fled from Yugoslavia to the United States of America. The word “fled” was their word and not mine. According to them, they came here for a better life and more opportunities.

The twins not only went to my school but they lived in my neighborhood, I am sure this was why I was asked to tutor them in English. They didn’t know our language but they were eager to learn it and I was happy to teach them.

They explained to me that if you had a loaf of bread and your neighbor had none, you were expected to give half that loaf to the neighbor. Their culture in Yugoslavia didn’t allow them free choice. Kids were tested and told what school and ultimately what career would be assigned to them. The government chose for the people. The people did not have the many freedoms that we are afforded here in the United States of America.

It didn’t take long for Van and Yar to integrate into our culture. It has been many decades now but the last time I saw them we were in high school and they were both popular and excelling in school. Their futures were bright and according to them a lot better than anything they would have had back home in Yugoslavia.

This family was willing to leave everything in Yugoslavia behind them and that meant socialism. They knew they could do better here in our country.
As we are into the process to elect our next President of the United States, I can’t help but be struck by the popularity of Senator Bernie Sanders, a self-proclaimed Democratic Socialist. He makes no bones about wanted the rich to pick up the slack of the poor. He makes no bones about a desire to re-distribute wealth.

What also strikes me is how popular he appears to be with so many college aged students. They hear the word “free” like in “free college” for everyone and they are beating the drums for him. “Feeling the Bern” is the new high for a generation of young people that have yet to work for anything. They don’t yet know what it is like to get a job, work hard, set goals, buy a car, purchase a home and raise children. Most students are still living on mommy and daddy’s dime. I can’t help but wonder how they will feel when it is their paycheck that is reduced by 50, 60, 70% or more in taxes to pay for all that “free” college and “free” healthcare.

Seems to me that in order to understand socialism you would want to research the countries that adhere to this way of life and ask yourself are they living a better quality of life? Ask the people that literally “fled” from both socialism and communism and listen to what they know about living this way.

Most educated people know that nothing is “free” somewhere someone along the way is paying. Should the cost of education and the cost of healthcare be so high? Probably not. But expecting a government or expecting other people to pay for our education and/or our healthcare isn’t what our country was ever built upon.

Our country is a melting pot and a country of immigrants. People that came here not because we gave “free” anything but rather because they wanted the American way. They wanted to come to the United States because they knew that if they worked hard that their dreams would be realized.

What bothers me most about today’s young person and their expectations of “free” isn’t as much as their desire for everything to be given to them but their lack of any desire or willingness to work hard.

I don’t know of anyone who is successful and who has a good life where you can’t trace it back to a desire to work towards goals and toward achieving them. It scares me to think that a burning desire for success could be replaced with the apathy that comes from sitting back and expecting everything to just be handed to you.

What I learned about socialism I learned way back in the third grade when a family “fled” their native Yugoslavia to come to the “land of opportunity” also known as The United States of America.

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