Planting Sunshine
By Bernadette A. Moyer

During Covid-19 isolation when so many writer friends were writing books and articles and blogs, I had nothing. I had nothing to say as I watched in horror how the pandemic was affecting all people. I was stunned and shocked and just like a train wreck that you really do not want to witness, I could not stop watching.

Then came the civil unrest and the full force of BLM and the war against all cops. Once again, I sat wide-eyed and unable to write or even string two sentences together. I was sad and horrified at how humans were treating one another. It was not at all political for me, it was witnessing the basic lack of humanity and complete disregard for life. The cop who stole the life of an African American man who did not deserve to die.

It was all the aftermath and witnessing the destruction of property, the property of innocent people that had nothing to do with George Floyds untimely death. Destruction as a way of expressing, “I am angry, I am mad” and again I watched in disbelief as innocent people were hurt.

There were no words, they did not come to me, because first and foremost I did not have the answers.

What I know for sure is that you put out into the universe, comes back to you. If you want more love you lead with love same for anger and fear, they grow out of anger and fear. You cannot give what you do not have.

The pandemic and all the time that I sat alone afforded me with much time for self-reflection. What is in your heart? Are you planting sunshine and love or darkness and hate?

Over the weekend my husband drove through a toll where the car in front paid his fee. It took him a moment to understand what the toll taker was saying and then he responded with the cash he had in hand and stated “please use this for the car behind me” it really is that simple. One good deed responds with another good deed.

I am acutely aware of all the unrest that is going on in the world today, what can I do? I can keep my own heart in check. I can plant sunshine both literally and figuratively. My garden is well tended this year. It is receiving more love and care and it shows. My garden is life. People are life. When we treat life with love and care it grows. It grows healthy.

The answers are not outside of us but within our own hearts and souls. If each one of us worked on ourselves and took personal responsibility for our thoughts and actions rather than blaming others? What a world we could/would live in.

Many decades ago I was in therapy, probably the late 70’s, a placed called Confront and that is exactly what we did, it was there that I learned “you are only a victim if you choose to be” that doesn’t mean that at times in life we may fall “victim” but rather that we choose if and when we stay in victimization.

We could all declare ourselves a “victim” of this or that but at what cost? Stuff happens. Every situation whether deemed good or bad affords us a chance to 1) learn from it and 2) turn it around for the greater good. Our choice. Our free will.

“If you do your best in the search for personal freedom, in the search for self-love, you will discover that it’s just a matter of time before you find what you are looking for.” from The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

What is in YOUR heart? It begins and ends within each and every one of us …

Treat others as you wish to be treated and where and how can you plant more sunshine?

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