My Friend Jack Died

By Bernadette A. Sahm

Each and every death forces us to face our own mortality. My friend Jack died yesterday on April 10th; I learned this early this morning after I received a text from his daughter Dawn. She sent it the same day that he died. That same morning, I mailed him a card just saying hi and I am thinking of you from our local post office. I had no idea that just a few hours earlier he had passed away.

Jack came into my life in early 1999, we met at my retail store located in the old Hunt Valley Mall. He lived in Pennsylvania just north of our location. He had a huge warm and happy demeanor. He soon became my friend and not long after like family to me and my family.

God knows what and who we need, the year I met Jack my heart was broken as it was just months earlier that my then teen daughter graduated from high school and weeks later estranged from me. I was a walking wooded wreck. I was writing and shared some of my stories with Jack. I think initially he felt sorry for me and couldn’t understand it. He had been retired with grown adult children who remained in his life and some of them he was very close with … he openly welcomed me and my heart break into his family.

We went to his house in Pennsylvania on an Easter holiday and got to know him and his family. It was exactly what I needed at that time. Years later he moved to Mississippi to be close to his daughter and grandchildren who had relocated there. Again, our family made the long trip from Maryland to Mississippi to share Thanksgiving with him, his wife and children. Always fun to be in Jack’s company.

One year Jack and his wife Marlyn came back to our area and stayed for a week with us in Maryland. During that time, he attended one of my fundraiser events Trends, Tulips & Tea at a special needs school. He came with his family and was as usual so complimentary and supportive. That same trip I drove Jack and Marlyn to our beach house in Delaware for a few nights. He loved it! He loved the ocean and could see why we would eventually retire to this beach town.

Jack loved it that I was an author and supported me and my books. One year I had a tent at the Baltimore Book Festival and Jack showed up. He ended up staying and helping my husband Brian sell my books. It was there over a few beers and book sales that they bonded.

The last time I spoke with Jack he sounded rough and that he was struggling to speak. I felt bad and wanted to get off the phone. He was in his 90’s and I knew the end was near. Yet today I find myself fighting back the tears. I have so many memories! All good ones! One year I flew down to Mississippi by myself for a long weekend visit. He was waiting for me at the airport. Jack couldn’t wait to tell me he had purchased tickets to see Travis Tritt at the local casino. It was a birthday surprise for me and I loved it. He didn’t need another daughter as he had three of us own and yet I felt totally embraced and loved by Jack.

He would love it that I am writing about him and sharing some of our stories, if he was alive and I wrote all this, I just know he would take it to all his friends and family and share my words and stories. He was so proud of his friend being a writer and made sure everyone knew it.

Heaven has a new angel, and those of us who knew and loved him are both saddened by his departure and warmed by all the love and fun times we shared with him. Oh, and then there was the time we went to Elvis’ house, Graceland in Memphis together and another the opening weekend at the movies for Johnny Cash movie Walk the Line. One year we met up during the holidays at the Opryland Hotel in Nashville, Tennessee. Many memories for sure …

Jack loved his wife Marlyn, and he loved all his children, he loved them dearly and deeply, and to know Jack was to love him. RIP my dear friend, you will not be forgotten. My life is so much better for having you in my life.

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer and Instagram @bernadetteamoyer @bernadettesahm

#friends #death #life #loss #love

Positive Change

Describe one positive change you have made in your life.

The biggest positive change in my life is who and what and where I spend my time and energy. Making myself a priority. When you finally look at your life and make health and happiness the number one goal and priority, you see things differently.

If it doesn’t feel right, I don’t do it! If it doesn’t add value and/or make me happy I decline.

Not everyone is meant to stay in your life. Not everyone is a true friend. The family you were born into may be healthy for you or it may not be healthy at all.

There is that voice inside that knows instinctively what is good and what is right. Your truth may be inconvenient for someone else. It may not jive with the narrative they have created for themselves.

We literally have this one life and the gift of age teaches us what is important to us. The most positive change I’ve made is self-love and self-care. Taking good care of myself allows me to move between my need for spending time alone and my need for socializing.

I am no longer driven by other people’s opinions. I know who I am. I know where I began and I know where I have been and where I want to be.

Many positive changes throughout my lifetime have led to the greatest positive changes of 1) making health and happiness a priority and 2) self-love and self-care.

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer on Instagram @bernadetteamoyer @bernadettesahm

#positive #change #life #lessons #growth

Fun Way to Exercise

What’s the most fun way to exercise?

By Bernadette A. Sahm

One of the most fun ways to exercise would have to be by doing something outside. So that would be either riding my pink beach cruiser bicycle or walking our pups on the beach.

The fresh air of a bike ride flowing through my hair is always fun on a spring and summer day.

Taking Bailey and Buddy to the beach and walking with them is also great fun and easy exercise.

For a serious workout you will find me at the gym doing 10 to 11 miles on a stationary bike and rewarding myself with a hydro massage and tanning.

Activities outdoors can be the most fun and contribute to good exercise too!

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer and Instagram @bernadetteamoyer @bernadettesahm

#exercise #outdoors #fun #healthy #workout #gym #bike ride #walking #beach

Books …

What book could you read over and over again?

By Bernadette A. Sahm

What book could you read over and over again? It took a few minutes for me to think about this question. My initial response I will stick with, as it has to be Love Story by Erich Segal. It later became a movie.

It is one book that I recall reading over and over again. Typically after reading a book I like to move on to read a new title.

There are many books that I have referenced over and over again like the Bible, The Four Agreements and many self-help books.

Many times I have reread some of my own writings. As I wonder if they are still relevant or in need of edits and update’s.

The book Love Story came out when I was a very young girl and for whatever reason I remember reading it over and over again!

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer and Instagram @bernadetteamoyer @bernadettesahm

#books #writing #reading #lovestory

Spring and Summer

What is your favorite type of weather?

My favorite weather season is Spring and then Summer. As I’ve aged I’ve grown fond of Fall and Winter weather is my least favorite weather. Winter is death and dark and cold.

Spring is renewal when everything is new again! Temperatures are cool and clear. I love spring sweater weather and warmer days with cooler evenings.

Easter happens during the Spring season and that also makes it so special to me. I enjoy seeing trees budding and flowers beginning to bloom. It’s the season and the weather for hope and new beginnings.

I also favor summer beach weather with longer days of daylight and warm temperatures. Summer is fun and so freeing!

Fall harvest is an interesting time too and still peppered with warm days and cool nights.

So if I had to rate the weather and the seasons it would probably be 1) Spring 2) Summer 3) Fall and 4) Winter. But truth to be told it’s a great day to be alive regardless of the weather.

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/Bernadetteamoyer and Instagram @bernadetteamoyer @bernadettesahm

#weather #season #spring #summer #fall #winter

Influential Teachers

Who was your most influential teacher? Why?

By Bernadette A. Sahm

Through the years I’ve had many influential teachers. One that stands out was my sixth grade American History teacher. His name was Mr. Rourke and the mantra from our school at the time was “If you think you can, you can!”

He made learning history interesting and that year our class went on a one week trip to Colonial Williamsburg in Virginia. We all enjoyed an early morning walk/run before breakfast. We had unlimited passes to all the little shops in Williamsburg where they showed us how to make candles and wood working and more. It was so interesting to me to see how people lived back in the early days of Colonial times.

Years later it would have to be my French teacher Mrs Beers. We learned to speak French the entire time in class. She loved the language and all things associated with France. I had her for three years and learned to love speaking French.

Another big influence in teaching me was my Real Estate teacher Bill Byrnes. He made learning real estate law so interesting. He was a natural born teacher. When it was time to take my exam I received a grade of 98% and was thrilled to have done so well.

A good teacher makes all the difference in how we learn and I have been blessed with having more than one influential teacher in my lifetime.

#teachers #influential #learning #history #law #french #living #life #lessons

Dear 100-year-old self,

Write a letter to your 100-year-old self.

Wow! You did it! Your maternal grandmother lived to be 101 and you are almost there.

You survived your childhood home fraught with abuse, and survived relationships meant to be lessons learned.

You survived raising twins and a daughter. You survived career jobs that you loved and excelled in doing.

So much joy came from your many precious pooches and from maintaining homes and gardens.

You have been loved deeply and adored by many. If there was a photo attached to being a “strong woman” it would include you.

From farm girl to beach gal you enjoyed so much of life’s natural beauties. Much of your writings have already survived the test of time.

Every time it appeared to be a set back you actually went full force upward and forward.

You are good, you are kind and you are loving.

The greatest lesson learned at age 23 has been your life mantra, “life is for the living, live it!” And to that end you did, you have and continue to do so …

Fear not for you have lived well and honored our loving God.

Peace and continued blessings!

Bernadette

Three Objects

What are three objects you couldn’t live without?

I think it goes without saying that we all need 1) clean air to breathe 2) fresh water to drink and 3) healthy foods to eat. However, beyond that …

When I think of “objects” I think of things and not people. If it was people it would definitely be my husband Brian and then our precious Bichons Buddy and Bailey.

However in “objects” it was have to be my books and journals, writings by me and by other authors. I love books! I can’t imagine a life without a collection of books.

And next would be my iPhone that I am currently writing this blog prompt from and also serves as my phone and camera. I use it every single day and can’t imagine living without it.

Last and certainly not least is my convertible Audi that I can’t wait for Spring and Summer to enjoy top down driving again. It’s my third convertible car and I just love driving them so much! Next month we will take it for a long road trip to Daytona Beach. Daytona is where we will enjoy driving it directly on the beach.

My three chosen objects are things I really enjoy. They make living life just a bit sweeter.

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer and Instagram at @bernadetteamoyer @Bernadettesahm

What is love?

By Bernadette A. Sahm

I remember when I worked with someone who said that love was the most overused word in the English language. And I was like absolutely not, you can’t say it enough and you can’t act on it enough! LOVE LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, just saying it makes me so happy!

For me I love so many things and so many people, I love my husband more than anyone else and I love my friends and my precious pooches. I love our home, family and friends. I could go on and on about all the many things that I love.

But on a deeper level, what is love? An emotion, a feeling, an act, a way of life? How do you define love? Is it simplistic or is it complicated? I’m guessing it can be many things to many people.

For me it feels good to love and to be loved. My husband has been my greatest “love” in both giving me love and in receiving my love. For days I thought about writing this blog. What does love mean? Is it caring, it is sharing is it _____?

When I asked my husband Brian, “What does love mean to you?” In a very sober and rapid response he said, “One word, Bernadette.” Wow! I didn’t see that one coming but what a great response. At least for me!

We are retired; we raised three children together. We had career jobs, a few houses, many cars, many travels and five precious pups. A lifetime of love built on a solid commitment of caring, devotion and love. I was initially afraid to get married because I had failed relationships and never wanted to be divorced.

My husband has loved me more and longer than anyone else. I know how lucky I am and how lucky we are as we thrived and survived through many life altering events. It has not always been easy, and it has not always been without our share of friction. One of the best parts of this stage of our lives is that we are so happy together and at peace, we love.

When we go to sleep at night, my husband holds me until I fall asleep, He holds me every night. We laugh because he says it hurts his arm but don’t worry, I am here to hold you until you fall asleep. I don’t believe my love, our love, is supposed to look like your love and that is the beauty of love.

Many times, my husband has said that he would die for me, my response is always the same in, but I want you to live for me!

“I don’t know about you, but I was put here to live and love so what if I don’t do it like everyone else does.” From the song Like It’s A Bad Thing by Gary Allan

MY WISH is that we as a community and as a society would focus more on love and all that we love instead of hatred and discourse. I want love for all the friends I have for all the family I have and for everyone. Love more and your life is sure to be so much happier, we get what we focus on, we receive what we put our energy into.

“Where there is love there is life.” Mahatma Gandhi

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer Instagram @bernadetteamoyer @Bernadettesahm

#love #caring #relationships #happiness

What Is Meant For You

By Bernadette A. Sahm

What is meant for you, will find you! I am a firm believer in this statement. If it is meant to happen, if someone is meant to be in your life, it will happen.

Several years ago, I was working on a project with another professional colleague. We shared some personal stories. I was talking to her about a relationship that ended and left me quite sad and gutted. Her response was, “It wasn’t meant to be.” At the time that was not what I wanted to hear. Since then, I have often reflected on it. It wasn’t meant to be.

We all get older and hopefully wiser. My younger self wanted a different outcome. Today my mature self believes what is meant for you, will find you. If it doesn’t it wasn’t meant to be. Peace and happiness come from acceptance and understanding.

All that I have is meant for me, all that I don’t wasn’t meant to be. I know it sounds so simple, but I think that it’s meant to be that simplistic.

Think about all things that just came naturally and at the time when you were open and ready to receive it. What is meant for you quotes emphasize that destined opportunities, relationships, and successes will naturally align with your life, and this encourages patience, trust, and letting go of forced outcomes.

What is meant for you, will find you!

Peace and blessings, Bernadette

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer and Instagram @bernadetteamoyer @Bernadettesahm