My home is comfy and cozy by design. We live at the beach and there is also a coastal classic flair to it.
Part of what I’m drawn to from growing up on a farm can also be described as a twist on Country French. Visitors tell us our home is comfortable and recently a friend called it “cute” much of what we incorporate into our home environment has some fondness or memories associated with it.
Like my personality there is nothing pretentious in our home. It’s welcoming by design. A place of calm and retreat surrounded by my many books.
During the holidays our everyday plate and glass collection is replaced with Christmas themed plates and glassware.
Being so close to the ocean we tend to decorate for two seasons like summer coastal and winter Christmas. That’s what works for us!
My husband and I decided that our mantra for this period of our lives in retirement will be referred to as “STAYING ALIVE” and the Bee Gees song Stayin’ Alive from 1977 is our theme song! So it goes …
“Well now, I get low and I get high And if I can’t get either, I really try Got the wings of heaven on my shoes I’m a dancin’ man and I just can’t lose You know it’s all right, it’s okay I’ll live to see another day …”
For us it’s about a wholistic approach to living out the rest of our lives with the trinity of mind, body and soul. What have we done and what can we do to be sure that each and every day we do something that 1) enriches our mind through reading, conversations, laughter and learning 2) what healthy choices have we made for our bodies like good healthy eating choices and exercise and 3) have we prayed and enlightened our souls, have we connected to others and the Lord our God in a meaningful way.
We try and live a healthy lifestyle grounded in gratitude and love. We eat fresh fruits and vegetables and good prime meats for protein. Eggs are a stable and healthy fats. Being Italian we, both enjoy a pasta dish at least once a week. Exercise is important to us whether at the gym or outside activities, we do our best to get our goal of 10,000 steps daily. Living minutes from the ocean allows us such great beach walks and getaways. Sunshine is healthy too! The air by the ocean just feels more alive and for us it never gets old.
Fun stuff like spending time with friends and loved ones as well as enjoying concerts, restaurants and the theater outings make us happy. We both love music and nothing better than live music from a beloved artist. Traveling is fun and we prefer a healthy long road trip to planes, do love a good train ride too.
Seeking out beauty in all its forms adds to our love of life and our staying alive mantra!
Not long ago an acquaintance who is still working full time asked us, “what do you do all day?” In unison we responded with, “whatever we want to do!’ We love our life and my husband Brian often remarks, “we earned it!” Both of us have worked hard in our careers and together we raised three children and five precious pups! We have lived a full life and this phase means so much to us. We choose peace, love and happiness and we choose it each and every single day!
So here is to “staying alive” as long as possible and hopefully until we take our last breath … and doing it our way …
Do you think we’re shaped more by our experiences or by who we are?
By Bernadette A. Sahm
Such a great question! Are we shaped by our genetic makeup and who we are born into? Or are we shaped by the experiences we have in our lives?
I’m willing to bet it’s both, part of our personality comes from our family ties and our roots, and part of our personality is formed by who and what we experience in our lifetime.
We are a composite of all that we learn and who we learn from.
I absolutely love and am passionate about acts of love and kindness. Today while wading in the water at the beach, I was picking up shells and stones. A little boy about ten years old came up to me and handed me three perfect seashells. I said, “don’t you want them?” His response “no they are for you!” I was stunned and replied “you are such a sweetheart” he just walked away. It literally made my day and made me smile so much.
I went back to my husband who witnessed this act and told me the kid has good taste in making you happy!
When we go out I like to tip good service generously. I was once a waitress and know how hard they work. Giving is for the giver.
Often going through the toll booth we pay for the car behind us.
I am a big believer in what goodness you but into the world comes right back to you. We can focus on all the things we don’t like in the world or we can choose to be the change we want to see in the world.
That young boy gave freely with no agenda and it wasn’t lost on me. All I could think was someone raised a good boy and one day someone is going to be the recipient of his kind actions.
We reap what we sow. When we plant seeds of goodness and acts of kindness we are almost certain to benefit from it.
I love a beautiful life and being a good and giving person is what I am most passionate about.
What are the most important things needed to live a good life?
By Bernadette A. Sahm
The first thing that comes to mind as the most important things needed for a good life is peace, love and good health.
Living without worry and living in peace and with love are by far the most important things to live a good life.
Good health is also important. As for possessions a nice home and car or cars and a healthy bank account and a refrigerator and freezer filled with good foods.
Loving relationships and healthy friendships enhance a good life. It’s important to surround yourself with good people.
Doing what you love with who you love and where you love to be all makes for a good life. I am blessed to have a wonderful loving husband and a nice home near the ocean. We have good friends and two precious pups.
As a retired person “living the dream” I honestly feel that I have living a very good life. I thank God daily for all our many blessings!
List three books that have had an impact on you. Why?
The top three books that have impacted my life and meant something to me are 1) Charlottes Web 2) The Four Agreements and 3) Women and The Blues: Passions that Hurt Passions that Heal.
As a child I loved Charlottes Web and living on a farm in northeast Pennsylvania, I could relate to farm animals. I loved the story and the talking animals and reading about the life cycle.
Later on as an adult woman I enjoyed reading Woman and The Blues. It was a self-help book that gave me the courage to persevere and keep going when things didn’t work out like I believed they would for me.
Last of the three and certainly not least was The Four Agreements. It’s a small book that cost around $10 and I have gifted it to dozens of my friends and acquaintances. The one agreement that literally changed how I viewed all my relationships was, “nothing other people do is because of you, it is because of themselves.” This quote alone changed me. I no longer accepted others actions and words personally. What they did and what they said was all theirs and not mine.
I love reading and I love many books but the three listed above certainly had a huge impact on me.
My most dear “personal belongings” are probably three being 1) my framed Christening outfit handmade by my grandmother 2) my diamond engagement ring and 3) the flag presented to me after the 21-gun salute for the funeral of my first husband.
My grandmother knit and gifted me this four piece Christening outfit at my baby shower. It included a knitted gown with matching coat, cap and booties. I loved it then and now. Years ago I had it preserved and framed. It represents multi generational history.
I have a flag that draped my first husband Randy’s coffin when he was buried. It was folded and presented to me with a message from our then President Reagan. It is also preserved in a flag case. It reflects the American spirit of service above self. He died service related.
Last and certainly not least is a ring I wear every single day. It includes 5 diamonds where each represent my husband, me and our three children. It was my engagement ring and I seldom take it off. I love it today as much as au did the day I received it!
So these three items repented things I hold most dear …
My engagement ring with 5 diamonds represent 5 in our family …
What does “having it all” mean to you? Is it attainable?
By Bernadette A. Sahm
First and foremost, “having it all” starts with peaceful living. Living in peace is everything. Then having that special someone to share peace and love in life is truly the greatest gift.
My husband is everything to me. We are about to celebrate 29 years of marriage and 34 years of living life together. We know how blessed we are to have each other.
Together we have weathered many storms and many life lessons. There was a long period of time when I didn’t have peace. It pointed back to numerous family issues. Then one day after years and years of grief and tears it vanished. What I was left with was a man and his unwavering love and that love grew stronger. Love was always there, peace wasn’t.
Is it attainable? Of course it is, you just have to want it! And work for it!
Today we have both lots of love grounded in peace. Truly these two things that define “having it all.”
Bernadette A. Sahm 