Happy New You!

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Happy New You!
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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Most of us are walking around and greeting with “Happy New Year!” but this year I have decided to go with “Happy New You!”

It could be as simple as a new hairdo or as meaningful as a new career move or job. Each year as we turn over to the New Year, we have the unique opportunity to begin again. We have a chance to create a new life. We can lose weight and eat healthier and work out at the gym more often.

We can learn a new language or paint a room and remodel and redecorate. We can give more away than what we consume and take in. Each year we can rethink, redefine and readjust who and what we are all about. How do we want to spend our time, what should we do each day to ensure that we are happy and operating as our highest and best self?

What will you do this year that you have never done before? What will make 2019 better than 2018? How will we define “better?”

Each life has a beginning, a middle and an ending, where are we in our life? And what should we do so that each day we want to leap out of bed and begin our day? Should we travel more or stay put longer?

Is our attitude one that still serves us well, or do we need to change and adjust it? No one knows how long their life will be but if/when it comes to a conclusion have we lived, loved and learned?

The only person responsible for our happiness and our quality of living is us, what might we do in 2019 that helps with be the best version of ourselves? How can we begin again and be a happier healthier newer version of ourselves, our best self?

I see a New Year as the perfect opportunity to be a New You! Happy New YOU!

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer
Books by Bernadette A. Moyer on Amazon and Barnes & Noble

Expectations

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Expectations
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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Expectations are something that we all have and are also often what makes us upset or disappointed or even sad and depressed. When something doesn’t go the way that we believe it should and our expectations are not met, we become disappointed and maybe even disillusioned.

Last Saturday I made an appointment at a local car dealership and expressed interest in test driving two vehicles. Several phone calls and messages later I was certain we were set for our 10:30 a.m. appointment. It was a rainy Saturday morning and when we arrived we were met by our salesperson and almost immediately passed off to a “specialist” who did NOT have the vehicles I requested ready and started asking questions like; “what do you need to have in a vehicle?” and when I pressed him about seeing the cars I inquired about we ended up walking through the car lot in the heavy rain.

Inside I could feel myself getting upset, my expectations were not being met and ultimately I made the decision that I was not going to do business with them. It was almost comical how he chased after us and then his sales manager chased after us. We drove off the Jeep dealership lot in a Jeep we already owned! That day we expected to buy a new car and it didn’t happen.

A week later I went to purchase another Jeep and my experience was wonderful and met all my expectations! The car is so much nicer and the experience was so much better.

We are just a few days from Christmas, a holiday that brings with it much anticipation and often high expectations. Will it be as magical as all those Hallmark movies and Christmas cards? Will we feel that special “spirit” of the Christmas holiday? Will we receive and will we give that perfect gift? And how about that special Christmas dinner, will it meet all of our expectations?

Do we expect too much or not enough? Will we feel the love from our family and our friends? Our level of expectation is almost equal to our degree of happiness.

The longer I live the more that I understand the only person I have the right to place expectations on is myself. We set ourselves up for disappointments when we expect others to respond the way that we would respond.

“Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.” Alexander Pope

I don’t know that we could live our lives without any expectations but I do know that one of my very favorite phrases is “exceeded expectations.” This holiday season I wish that everyone has their expectations met and even exceeded.

Merry Christmas and wishing you all a very Happy and Healthy 2019!

May God continue to bless us all …

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer
All books by Bernadette A. Moyer on Amazon and Barnes & Noble

27 Thanksgivings

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27 Thanksgivings

By Bernadette A. Moyer

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Ours is a love story! But it could just as easily have been a sad story. He had his pain, grief and loss and I had mine. We have known ups and downs, we have had money and little money. We have endured a house filled with children and then no children. We have lost pets and all our parents. We have had friends that turned into family and family that turned into strangers.

Together we have laughed and together we have cried. We have pulled people into our lives and into our homes. And we have pulled away and inward. We have gone stretches of time with the masses and other periods of time, we have soldiered on alone. Just the two of us. I get him and he gets me.

After 27 years and 27 Thanksgivings together, there is still no one else I would rather share my life with than my husband. He is my safe space, my comforter, my friend and my greatest love all rolled into one special amazing man. I want nothing more from him than what he freely gives to me. And it is everything!

He taught me about love, real love and gave me peace and much stability. Last week we laughed until we cried. Who knows what will unfold this week. Together we are stronger and better than when we are alone.

There is no magic pill, no secret sauce, there is love, respect, genuine care and comfort and above all else there is commitment. We survived much, we survived it together, we have history, we have friendship we have an unbreakable bond. We really like each other and we always look forward to sharing space and sharing time.

We know how God blessed we are to have one another. We never take it for granted. Each day, each year, each holiday and all 27 Thanksgivings have afforded us the depth of love and commitment that we strive to maintain. We never fail to see and feel the hand of God on our backs and within our hearts and souls, we are blessed.

This Thanksgiving I say thank you Brian Sahm for the gift of you and all that you have shared with me. Happy 27th Thanksgiving holidays and God willing, many, many more!

To my readers, reading this, we are far from perfect and we have made our share of mistakes through the years, but, when you are ready, when the time is right, you too can have that one person that you want to share 27 Thanksgivings and more … believe and receive …. and if you are blessed enough to already have it, then you know just how special and sacred it is, God bless you too!

Happy Thanksgiving, may God shine upon you with all His many blessings …

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

All books by Bernadette A. Moyer on Amazon and Barnes & Noble

Love Me

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Love Me
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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Love me?

Imagine if instead of seeing characteristics and traits in people that we don’t like or that we find offensive, instead we make the choice to see their inner child. The child in us all  that is looking and longing for love? That person who like all of us just wants to be loved and accepted for who and what they are? Love me.

It sounds so simple, right? Love your neighbor love your enemy, love all people just as you would want to be loved. Just as God loves us!

“When you meet anyone, remember it is a holy encounter. As you see him, you will see yourself. As you treat him, you will treat yourself. As you think of him, you will think of yourself. Never forget this, for in him you will find yourself or lose yourself.” From A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson

Often it is with the people and the relationships that challenge us the most where we have the opportunity to learn grace. Grace is where the most powerful outcomes can be realized. Our whole outlook on life can and does shift when we choose to look through the glass that is seeking and searching and declaring, “Love me.” That same glass that shadows our mirror image.

How we view ourselves is often how we view others, if we are critical of ourselves, we are then most critical of all people. When we fully love and accept ourselves, it is then that we are able to fully love and accept all others.

Rest and renew. Lord, give me wisdom to know when I must rest and be renewed. Help me to adjust my schedule when I need to be refueled. Amen. A renewed heart is a heart that is ready, willing and able to offer love in the most challenging relationships, not just the relationships that come easy for us.

“The survivor is the woman who turns lemons in to lemonade, she emerges as a triumphant shining example. She is a woman who truly knows the value of family, friendship and the gift of time, laying aside all judgment and giving unconditional love.” Suzy Toronto

What if that person who drives you crazy, that person from the President on down, instead of seeing ugly behaviors or actions we can’t tolerate, we choose to see another human being that is saying “love me” love me, warts and all, love me, as God created me just as God created you.

What a wonderful world we could all live in, if we operated understanding that we are all seeking the same things, we are all saying the same thing, simply put, love me.

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer
All books by Bernadette A. Moyer on Amazon and Barnes & Noble

Another Year

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Another Year
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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Another year, what have I learned and what have I done with it, how have I spent my time?

In just a few days the calendar will flip over to October. Then I will have yet another birthday (God willing) and it will be my last year in my 50’s. Where does the time go?

Today I am happy and at peace with all areas of my life. I have become better at not “stepping in it.” I see it all and I hear things and many times I shake my head. Our political climate is torture for someone like me who often believes that neither extreme is all right, or all wrong, but that grace truly lives in the center.

I like the center. I like it because it is there where I can view both sides. It is there where I can gather the best insight. It is there where I may find mutual ground and a place of peace.

Right this moment in time there are people in our country who believe they know, they know who is innocent and who is guilty just by looking at them. Sad. We are living in a time, where if you “feel” “think” and “sense” that someone is guilty or innocent that is enough. Me, I still like to have the facts. It is not enough just to think it, I want to know for certain. I want to be sure and armed with facts.

I have a friend who when I first saw her in public I honestly thought she was a weirdo and that she was NOT someone that I would consider as “friend material.” Her story is that I didn’t want to be her friend because she wore red cowboy boots. My story is that it wasn’t just the red cowboy boots it was that she wore them paired with leopard print pants/tights and to pick up her elementary school aged children at a Catholic (conservative) school! The same school that my children attended.

We have been friends for more than two decades now. She still tells her “red cowboy boots” story and I tell mine. The end of the story is always the same for the both of us, “don’t judge a book by its cover.” Maybe it is even more than that … don’t judge at all and certainly don’t judge until you have all the facts. My friend is one of the most soulful, spiritual and deep-thinking people that I know. And if I would have clung onto my initial judgement we would never have been friends at all. How very sad that would have been.

The older we become the more aware we become of just how much life we have already lived and how many days are still ahead. Life has a way of presenting us with the people and the lessons that we need to learn. I am still learning. Every single day I learn, I seek out new and different things to learn.

This year was marked by a lot of work and success. My husband, my adult son (who lives at home) and myself have all been plugging away at different careers and jobs. We all work hard. But it was also marked with a significant loss in our most precious pooch Happy unexpectedly departing this life. The void and the grief months and months later still so painful. She had our hearts and was beyond joy for us. I waver between wanting to love another puppy and/or just focusing on the one that we still love and adore at home. Her death taught me once again, just how deeply I can and do love and for that alone I am most thankful. It also drives home for me just how much better I have become at letting go. Practice lots and lots of practice of loss but it hasn’t hardened my heart. Thank God!

Yes, like most people I am a work in progress. Today I love myself, warts and all, I know who I am, where I come from and most importantly what I am made up of. Life-long living that all adds up to my sum-total of me. I have lived well, I have loved deeply, and I have lost incredibly too. Together it all adds up to a rich rewarding and full life.

As with most years we have traveled to the beach to the mountains and so many places in between. Our road trips are just one of the secrets of our long, loving and lasting marriage. There is nothing like spending hours and hours in a car together to determine if you are compatible.

Through our almost 27 years together, my husband Brian and I prove that we are by all our many road trips and many miles spent together, really together. We get along, we enjoy the same things, we travel well together. It is us and us alone in this big beautiful world. We talk uninterrupted and with full attention and we look out for each other. We stop and explore we eat meals together at various restaurants. It is always a good time and opportunity to refresh our souls and our marriage.

Getting older is cause for trimming back some things and valuing more in less. My prayers are often but also less complicated too. Each day I pray to God to help me to be the very best that I can be, what more could I really ask for?

Here is to another year, another chance and another opportunity to learn and to continue to grow. Be happy, it is a choice and one worth making day after day and year after year.

Blessed and blessings … Bernadette

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer
All books by Bernadette A. Moyer on Amazon and Barnes & Noble

Living Learning Loving Losing

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Living Learning Loving Losing
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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Living, learning, loving and losing, what else is there and what else really matters?

It seems like these four words could sum up life … and/or at least be a pretty good road map for a good and rich life.

We live and do the best we can with what we know, we learn or we die, learning keeps us alive and is the breath of life. Loving, what else really makes life worth living but loving, having the ability and the capacity to both give love and to receive love? And losing where so often it is in losing that we learn our biggest lessons. The lessons that both mold us and stay with us.

Living, learning, loving and losing might also be periods of our life or seasons of life. The periods and seasons that can and may overlap too.

So I guess my questions to you my readers are what are you living for, what is defining your life right now?

And what are you learning? What is adding to your growth and development and bringing the necessary oxygen to your life?

Loving probably the greatest gift of them all, what are you loving? Who are you loving and what and who is loving you?

Losing is probably the one that we try and run from the most but the truth is losing is about living, learning and loving and making room for what is about to come next …

Each experience comes down to, what will we do with it? How will we perceive it? Will we see it for what it is or try and make more or less of it? In the end will we take and appreciate the gifts and leave the rest behind?

Happy living, learning, loving and losing, as each affords us new and different life experience, challenges and riches.

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer
All books by Bernadette on Amazon and Barnes & Noble

Shine On!

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Shine On!
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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Learn to love yourself!

Today and every single day it is important to have self-love, self-esteem and self-care and no it is not at all selfish. In order for us to love others, we must first learn to love ourselves. The relationship we have with ourselves is the longest relationship we will ever have here on earth.

When you are the object of someone else’s hatred and anger, remember self-love. Don’t ever allow another person to take your glow and your shine from you. Shine on!

God loves you just the way that He created you. Be yourself! Be your best self! Do it for yourself first and then for all others.

We teach others how to treat us by what we accept and what we tolerate and what we reflect. Most battles are won and lost within ourselves.

Stand tall, be proud and lead with your best self and most of all learn to love and to accept yourself. There really are no winners or losers there are happy people and unhappy people.

Happy people understand that it comes from within and that happiness is a choice.

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer