Great question! My quick and immediate response is/was my husband Brian. I asked him this question and he replied “you” so we agree!
However on a deeper level it’s most probably my faith. My faith in God and my faith in the goodness of life and living it.
People, places, and things may come and may go, but my faith has always remained with me and sustained me. I’m a prayerful person. I pray when things are good and I pray when things are difficult. I pray every single day and many times throughout the day.
So the absolute one thing I can’t live without is my faith! Blessing in this Sunday and always …
How do you write what people actually want to read?
I’ve been writing books, blogs, articles and grants for over 30 years now. What I learned is that a compelling story that is relatable are the ones that are read the most often and bring about interactions between this writer and her readers.
My first published article was titled; A Parent Dies and it was published by a medical journal. That gave me the confidence to keep writing and to keep sharing. My child’s dad died when she was 2 and I wrote about it. That article connected me to many others.
Later I began writing about estrangement and thousands of readers not only read my writings, but many commented and shared their stories with me. Again confidence building and fueled my desires to write more and to connect more with others and our shared experiences.
The first grant that I wrote by myself was for $100,000, and when it was granted, I was over the moon happy. It was both a compelling story for kids in need and the financial goals on what it would take to achieve those goals.
I learned that when I write from the heart and share life experiences that those are the articles and blogs that receive the highest readership.
My belief is that writers are readers, and that we fall into one of two categories, we are either 1) really good story tellers or 2) we have a story to tell. I definitely have fallen into the second category.
Being widowed young and experiencing estrangement has given me much to write about.
When I was 40 years old, my poetry book Bare Breasted Heart came out. More than 20 years later I read it and still feel both pride and accomplishment in it. Same can be said for my Halfway Home The First 50 Years. These books have stood the test of time with subject matter that is still so timely, in the world we live in today and our shared human condition.
It’s been said, most writers are not very good until they age at bit, maybe around 40, because you need to have a certain amount of life experiences. I completely agree!
The more life we live, the more life we have to write about.
Earlier today I visited one of my favorite bookstores where I’ve spent hours. I love to read and I love books!
Cheers to all the writers and readers out there. I feel such a kinship toward all of you!
As we age self-care seems to be even more important! I do my best to balance diet and exercise. I try and eat fresh and healthy foods. Workouts at the gym usually three times a week.
Getting outdoors for fresh air and sunshine when possible is what I crave on a daily basis.
I have a skin, hair and nails routine that I follow. I take vitamins on a daily basis with magnesium being on the top of my list. It really seems to help with my previous joint pains.
Spending time with my precious pups is mood elevating, Quality time with my husband is also centering.
I do my best to live with a mind, body and soul approach to self-care. I pray daily and try to write in my blogs or journals daily too.
There is so much that goes into caring for yourself but again I’ve found a holistic approach works best for me.
What’s one thing you wish you had started doing earlier in life?
By Bernadette A. Sahm
Yesterday I read this thought and slept on it thinking about it. There really is nothing, as I pretty much started most things fairly early.
I graduated high school at just 17, married at age 19, became pregnant at age 20 and a new mom just three days after my 21st birthday. For 38 consecutive years I had kids in our home.
Became a Realtor at age 26 and that same year bought my first home. Worked jobs that I loved and excelled at until I now longer loved them.
At the age of 38 built our first beach house along with my husband. Next year we celebrate 30 years of marriage and 35 years together.
Retired at age 64, again perfectly timed and moved full time to the beach.
Looking back my timing on all major life altering events, has been pretty much perfect for me. So there really isn’t anything I would have begun earlier.
Life is good and God’s timing for me in all my life choices, has been great!
I met my husband when I was holding his pre-mature twin daughter. I was babysitting the twins so he and the family could attend their mother’s funeral. Little did I know this man I heard about and who had a wife die at just 29 years old would become my second husband.
We had “no game” as we were both so honest and vulnerable. We shared our stories and they were so familiar. I had been widowed 9 years earlier and left with a two year old daughter. He was just widowed with newborn twins a boy and girl.
It turned out we were both born in 1959 from large Italian Catholic families. He was one of six kids and I was one of five.
From the moment we met and began chatting we shared so much and all of it without any “game” our first date was to the Orioles baseball game at Oriole Park at Camden Yards. It was the opening season of the brand new park and he was a season ticket holder.
Brian wanted to thank me for watching his babies so he could attend his wife’s funeral. It was on the ride home from the game when I asked when they married that he said the date. I was shocked! He had married her on my 30th birthday!
We had so much in common and again came to one another without any “game” and completely vulnerable. This month of August we just celebrated 29 years of marriage and 34 years together as a couple.
From the very beginning we just wanted to be together. We are the best of friends and true lovers. God had a plan and we are both thankful and truly blessed to have found each other. I can’t imagine anyone else who would be so perfect for me as my husband Brian.
What’s a moment when you realized you were officially an adult?
The moment I realized I was officially an adult was when I watched my husbands casket being lowered into the ground. I was now a 23 year old widow. I realized I had passed a milestone in life where my experiences were more adult than even what my own parents had yet to experience in their lives.
I knew I was officially an adult and actually felt really old. During that time those first few years, I looked really old too. I felt the weight of my own life decisions heavily weighing on me. That was then.
Years and years later people would tell me I looked younger as I was aging. I agree!
Certain things in life happen where you are definitely no longer a child, and being a young widow with a toddler at that time was definitely when it happened for me.
What’s a quote that perfectly describes your outlook on life?
Life is for the living, live it! Has been my mantra since the age of 23 when my first husband Randy died.
As a young married woman with a toddler if was my first real experience with death. This death totally transformed my views on life and living.
Not one of us knows how long we have here on earth. When someone you knew well and intimately unexpectedly dies at a young age, it changes you.
I learned very early on that life is for the living, live it! Translation don’t take anything for granted, don’t put off what you can do today because we are not guaranteed a tomorrow.
That doesn’t mean we should be reckless and without intention but rather that we should live fully for the time that our lives allow.
My home is comfy and cozy by design. We live at the beach and there is also a coastal classic flair to it.
Part of what I’m drawn to from growing up on a farm can also be described as a twist on Country French. Visitors tell us our home is comfortable and recently a friend called it “cute” much of what we incorporate into our home environment has some fondness or memories associated with it.
Like my personality there is nothing pretentious in our home. It’s welcoming by design. A place of calm and retreat surrounded by my many books.
During the holidays our everyday plate and glass collection is replaced with Christmas themed plates and glassware.
Being so close to the ocean we tend to decorate for two seasons like summer coastal and winter Christmas. That’s what works for us!
Do you think we’re shaped more by our experiences or by who we are?
By Bernadette A. Sahm
Such a great question! Are we shaped by our genetic makeup and who we are born into? Or are we shaped by the experiences we have in our lives?
I’m willing to bet it’s both, part of our personality comes from our family ties and our roots, and part of our personality is formed by who and what we experience in our lifetime.
We are a composite of all that we learn and who we learn from.
