aging

When the Road Runs Out

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When the Road Runs Out
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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There is nothing like aging to fully comprehend how much road you have already run and that the road is not without an ending. There is a time when the road runs out for each and every one of us. We are born and we will die. It is a given that our life is not infinite but rather has a finite ending.

The older we become the more there is in the rear view mirror. And sadly the less there is up ahead the road that we are on. I’m in a really good place. Less stress and more love are the saving graces in my life today. It all points toward choices.

I owe so much to my husband Brian. He has been my rock and a steady loving partner for 25 years now. Without him, I would never have known true love and the importance of a long lasting committed marriage. I did not witness this growing up, he did. We have had our hurdles. Raising kids was probably the biggest challenge and due to our unique situation we did everything out of order. We had kids, bought the house and then got married. All three kids presented unique challenges and we are lucky to have survived them intact and stronger than ever.

What we are born into and what we experience in our formative years matters. Each child would know the loss of a birth parent. My husband and I would learn early what it meant to have children with a spouse who would never know them and die so young. Their road was cut short. Our lessons taught us to appreciate everyone and everything even more because you never know when you will run out of road.

It seems that it is important to us to have our affairs in order. We both know of each other’s final wishes. We have made peace with things that happened in our lives we accepted the outcomes.

As you travel the road of life, maturing and aging you know longer care about what other people are doing or what they say or think about you because you know yourself better than anyone else. You know that life is precious and that you want to spend it with the people that love you and bring out the best in you. You unhook yourself from people and from situations that are not healthy. You just don’t want to waste your time.

We are 57 years old and traveled on the road for 32 years before we began traveling the road together. Having a life partner that you get along with and genuinely love makes the road so much easier to maneuver. We can’t imagine it any other way.

We look back and we see that a tremendous amount of road has been covered. We have had so many life experiences, so many blessings and in every range of emotions. It has truly been rich.

We look forward and we see the road ahead that contains more travels and more love, God willing. I still make lists of the things we want to do and to achieve. And yes even purchases we still wish to make.

I began my road as an O’Connell girl and although that is where I started from, I could not be more pleased and proud of my road and all that I have become. I would hope that everyone feels that way. And that if you don’t then you should think about making a change and possibly choose another road.

They say that when you are young you read about who just got married and when you get older you read about who died. Our focus shifts, we become so much more aware of both our beginnings and our ending.

On this date 6 years ago, my mother ran out of road when her life unexpectedly ended. Her affairs were not in order. I pray that she has peace and I look forward to the day when we meet up again.

We all know that eventually in this lifetime, we will run out of road … and that is exactly why it is so important to do all the things that make you happy and spend your time with people that add joy to your life …

An Old Irish Blessing
May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back
May the sun shine warm upon your face
And rains fall soft upon your fields
And until we meet again
May God hold you in the palm of His hand

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer
All books by Bernadette A. Moyer on Amazon and Barnes & Noble

Enjoying Life!

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Enjoying Life!
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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“So what have you been up to?” This question was from someone that I ran into at the grocery store, someone I have not seen in about ten years. And even before I could think about it I responded with “enjoying my life!” Then I almost started to feel guilty and started rattling off a series of ongoing projects that keep me busy but I quickly doubled back to actually “I am enjoying my life more and more these days!”

Earlier in the day, I had just run some errands with my son who is always so appreciative of all that we do for him and with him. I am starting a new series of blogs and spent time with the dogs, downloaded a new recipe I plan to try and accepted a friend’s request to help proofread her latest book project. Next week when I have jury duty I will busy myself with her new book. So what have I been up to? Lots of stuff, lots of fun and rewarding stuff like the little things in life but doing them with much more enjoyment.

My husband and I are at the age where we appreciate everything more and we are genuinely happy. We talk about our aging and even when our lives end. He says, “I want my face to be the last thing you see when you die.” I know he doesn’t want me to ever die and leave him but we know that isn’t how life works. What he is telling me yet again is that I can count on him; he will be there for me until my time comes unless of course he goes first. We are blessed and we know it. Our marriage has survived so much and all the struggles and all the trials and tribulations made us stronger and more appreciative of each other and more in love.

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It is all about how we look at things, we can complain about having to scrub the kitchen floor or we can be thankful we have a kitchen floor to scrub. It is all about how we choose to see things. It is also about what we surround ourselves with and who we engage.

There are a lot of things we just don’t care about anymore, mainly what other people do and say. We know who we are and we know what we are made of, what other people think and say isn’t a concern of ours. There is something so freeing about not giving your power away and not allowing others to judge. Happiness comes from within and when we are doing what makes us happy it is so easy to enjoy life.

We can complain about aging and our aching back or this ailment or that one or we can remember that life is limited and so we must decide how we want to spend it. “Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.” Unknown Author

It doesn’t take much to make us happy we are easily amused and laugh more and more each day. Again it’s a choice. So what have I been up to? I have been up to the best possible things on earth and the most simplistic ones too. Enjoying my life more and more each and every single day because only God knows how many days we will have here in this lifetime to enjoy. Have fun! Do what makes you happy and surround yourself with people that you love and that love you too!

If this is what you get in older age, we will take it …

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer
Books by Bernadette A. Moyer on Amazon and Barnes & Noble

We Are Getting Older

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We Are Getting Older
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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Yep! It is a fact of life we are all getting older. I first noticed this “age thing” when I looked at new drivers and was like “so they let 12-year olds drive now?” They just looked so young to me.

Then I noticed it with my lines in my face, tougher skin and less smooth hair. I was showing signs of aging.

You know all that crap about your parents how they looked, how they aged and acted and now it’s our turn, ugh!  I find I have more patience but less tolerance, if that makes any sense? I know what I want and I am willing to wait for it and I know what I won’t tolerate and will just as quickly dismiss it.

My new “decision basing lens” now goes like this, “I am going to die one day and so I am doing it, or getting it or going there.” If I want it I go after it, I am getting older. People have died my age. My parents died age 76 and age 78 so it looks like 77 could be my number?

Regardless I learned a long time ago, “life is for the living, live it!” One day I will be gone from here and a memory to some and nonexistent to others. So all this self-induced and self-created drama I am not playing. I wasn’t into it when I was younger and I sure as hell won’t be tolerating it now … I’m getting older!

I still have my little girl laugh though and I still have my faith, aging has not touched these areas of my life.

Because I am getting older, I turn more things off and more people are tuned out. If the news is all bad, I don’t allow it to sap my natural high and energy and just like people that bring zero-net gain to the table. Sorry, life is short and my choice is to be with people that make me think and make me dream and make me want to get closer to them.

I still have that natural curiosity; I want to know everything about the people I care about. I think I might have become my grandmother on this one, she would sit you down across from her and usually her opening line was about “your people” and “where did they come from?’ Oh no I used to find that invasive and now I am getting older and aging and I do it?

Where I may have an open heart like a child I have the wisdom that comes with aging … I know who I am and I know what I like, what I am willing to accept and what exactly needs to be discarded.

Earlier today I heard from a reader who read one of my most popular blogs, I didn’t write it for the sake of popularity I wrote it because it was my experience and it was what I learned. I wrote about my faith and this guy tried to challenge it.

The younger Bernadette would have “walked right in” to that argument, discussion and debate, but the older Bernadette was like “who cares?” You have your opinion and I have mine. It isn’t my job or my desire to recruit you to my thinking and/or to try and change your mind.

I suspect someone pointed out my blog to him and he felt “guilt” his words not mine. Lately I write many political blogs for a particular site and I get pretty beaten up there, years ago it would have bothered me, today I am like; well I am getting read and generating a response, good enough. You see I am getting older, we are all getting older!

I no longer care who agrees with me, the far worse outcome would be 1) not being read at all and 2) no feedback or comments. I mean even a negative comment is better than no response at all, I got him to feel something, as I age that is good and good enough.

Selfies, we are living in a time when taking “selfies” is the norm, I am just as guilty as the next but the truth is that it isn’t that I think I am good looking, it is because I am changing, I am getting older and it shows. Lines on my face, eyes that aren’t as open, face that seems to be puffier and I could go on and on … I am getting older … we are all getting older … those photos document now before later arrives. And “aging” arrives all too soon, I ‘ve learned …

“Oh mirror in the sky, what is love? Can the child within my heart rise above? Can I sail through the changing ocean tides? Can I handle the seasons of my life?” from “Landslide” by Stevie Knicks

I still want to be wowed though, I still want to get excited, do new things, and see new people and new places, so maybe I am really not that “old” after all?

What I know for sure is that I am going to die one day and right here and right now … I want to live and I want to learn and I’ll take this “aging thing” over the alternative …

We are all getting older, maybe not such a bad thing after all …

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer
New books! Along The Way and Another Way on Amazon and Barnes and Noble