Adjust and Adapt
By Bernadette A. Moyer
We must learn to adjust and to adapt as life is ever changing. To stay stuck in yesterday’s news is like living from behind. Most people hate change. It is like it throws their equilibrium out of tune. I have always embraced change. I love new things and I love to learn. We are all evolving.
History is great but that is exactly what it is, history, the past. Every aspect in our lives depends on how we adjust and adapt to change. Life changes when we leave home, when we get married, take on a new career job, purchase a home and have children. It changes when we embrace new relationships and when we let go of old ones.
We adjust to that new baby or new work place environment. We have to figure it out and to learn again. Many people will suffer a sort of “norms crisis” with their new environment. That new baby cries and disrupts our previous peaceful past. We work with new people that we instantly gel with and others that we may barely tolerate. But we learn from all of them.
I’ve always been the “change charger” in our family and my husband the “slow and steady one.” Together we make a great couple as a result. A guy that has worked for the same organization for 34 years and lived in the same house for 24 years is not a guy who easily embraces change.
When our kids started leaving home, I had the hardest time. The number one job that meant the most to me was in being a mother. I soon learned to take my career and my writing more seriously. These things are what makes me, me. Being a mother was only a part of me not my total being.
Adjusting and adapting to letting my kids go wasn’t easy but now that I have I love my freedom. Less responsibility after decades of being responsible for so many others feels great. Life is easier with less people to please.
I never thought I would be so happy with less people in our home and I am. I think you get to an age where all you really crave is peace. It is so easy to fill our lives up with everyone else’s drama and issues but often at what cost? Perhaps the cost is in denying ourselves and our own needs and wants.
My husband is newly retired and I don’t think I have seen him smile so much! At the end of his career he had reached the highest level that he had wanted for himself, as a General Superintendent. At that level the demands were great and time was a commodity that he often didn’t have. You could physically see what that job was taking out of him. Meetings and meeting and always on24 hour call back for the past 6-years, every waking moment checking his communication devices. He was needed and worked hard to fill the needs.
But the truth is that if we drop dead today, life goes on, not one of us is irreplaceable. So he gave it is all then one day he declared, “I am done, I am not going back. It hasn’t been fun for a long time.” Today we have raised our kids and worked our careers. With two pensions between us, no mortgage and adult children we are free from decades of responsibilities and it feels so new and so good too.
Together we are adjusting to living with less by choice and in spending our time together and doing the things that we love to do. What a blessing! Who knew that during all those grinding it out years that this day would arrive and we would still be young enough to enjoy it.
What is next in retirement? Sleep, sun and some fun! It is time for travel and some classes at our local college, things like Chinese cooking, meditation and ball room dance. All those year we grabbed at responsibility and embraced it and yet today for the first time we are both being very selective about what and who we want to be responsible for, having kids, a home, a career is all about being responsible. We have been there and done that.
We are embracing our future and looking forward to making all the necessary adjustments and adapting to the newness of what comes next.
Adjusting and adapting, that is both the beauty and the secret of life. Adjust and adapt … it makes everything and all of life’s many changes just so much easier.
Updated May of 2016
Once again more adjusting and adapting as my husband has accepted a new position with local government. So it is bye bye early retirement and hello to new challenges … here we go again as life is good and all about learning and growing and doing …
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