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Ice Cream for Breakfast

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Ice Cream for Breakfast
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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Open up the windows in January and build a fire in June, eat ice cream and pizza for breakfast, why not? Sometimes doing things against our “norms” is a good thing and a healthy thing too.

Break all the rules! We are bound by our own code to live by and by our belief system. What part of our lives or anyone else’s will be harmed or somehow less than by letting fresh air in our homes in January or by enjoying the warmth and excitement of a fire during the summer. How about that cold leftover pizza for breakfast?

It becomes easy to live our lives by routine and mindlessly going about our day, and by doing what we have always done.

One of my least favorite lines in response to change is; but that that is how we have always done it! And when you have set new goals that excuse is not good and not good enough. If you want growth and you want development you must embrace change and a new way of doing things.

Change your thinking and change your world …

Try new things, set new goals, visit different people and new places … eat ice cream for breakfast … try something new and different and exciting …

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.bernadetteamoyer.com
All books by Bernadette A Moyer on Amazon and Barns & Noble

Pay Attention

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Pay Attention
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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So often we miss the clues because we just aren’t paying attention. When we tune in we learn and we see and our communications are clearer and easier.

Everything living and alive communicates with us, nature talks to us and our pets and animals speak to us and yes humans speak both verbally and nonverbally. Our actions and what we do say so much more about us than our words do.

Last week my dog Happy came into my office, she gave me a lengthy stare just before climbing up on an over-sized chair in my office. She continued to stare at me as she peed on that chair. Her urine was rusty brown. She was telling me that she wasn’t well. A trip to the vet would confirm that she needed surgery again to have stones removed. I could have easily missed her “speak” to me. But I was engaged with her and I was paying attention.

Much is revealed to us when we do pay attention. So much communication happens not by what we say but by what we do what we see and what we witness.

Our dogs are the best teachers of non-verbal communications and some of their communications that would easily be dismissed if we didn’t pay attention to them. A bark and a scratch on the backdoor aren’t just a bark and a scratch but rather a communication that she needs to go out. A bark in the kitchen by the water bowl says so clearly. “The water bowl is empty.” And a scratch and a whine mid-kitchen say, “I want a treat or more to eat.”

“I truly believe that everything that we do and everyone that we meet is put in our paths for a purpose. There are no accidents; we’re all teachers – if we’re willing to pay attention to the lessons we learn, trust our positive instincts and not be afraid to take risks or wait for some miracle to come knocking at our door.” Maria Gibbs

When we pay attention to our dogs, our pets, to people and to all living things they communicate so clearly with us. All living things communicate with us if we are open and receptive to hearing and understanding them.

Pay attention … the rewards are amazing …

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer
Books by Bernadette A. Moyer on Amazon and Barnes & Noble

The Process

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The Process
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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We give so little credit to “the process” as we tend to think more about the end result. However the more life experience that I attain I tend to give more and more attention and respect for “the process.”

Our most thoughtful and best decisions are often derived as we complete the process. We learn about what we like and what we dislike we learn about what fits and feels right for us. I used to give all the credit to the end result to success to coming to the conclusion and completion but now I am giving so much more credit for the process that we go through until we arrive at our destination.

What advice would I give to my 20 year old self?

“Don’t be in such a hurry, stop, reflect and thoroughly enjoy the process!”

As someone who was always a high achiever I was always completely focused on the end result, looking back I can see where I rushed through much and could have enjoyed more with a better understanding of the value that is held in the process.

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It doesn’t matter if they are personal goals or professional goals, some much is attained when we take the time to not only go through “the process” but revel in it. I have also come to know that my best responses may not be my first responses but the ones where I took the time to reflect on all sides and took the time to process as much information as I could so that I could then arrive at the very best decisions.

Gathering information and educating ourselves should not be rushed but should be treated with respect and understanding as to the value of allowing for the process to unfold and the answers to revealing themselves.

So here is to placing more value and time and attention on “the process” …

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

Books by Bernadette A. Moyer on Amazon and Barnes and Noble

Autumn Shows Us

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Autumn Shows Us
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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The season is changing and so are we! Autumn leaves show us exactly how beautiful it is to let go and let live and let die. What can you let go of? What can you make room for? The seasons change and so do we. We change how we dress and what we eat and we change what we do and where we go.

I remember as a little girl listening to a song that my father liked it was called Autumn of My Life by Bobby Goldsboro. He sings “and I’m content in the Autumn of my life.”

“Autumn the wind blows colder than the summer, Autumn my loves gone with another. Did you ever lose something that you thought you knew, did you ever lose someone that was close to you?” From the song Autumn written by Edgar Winter.

The seasonal changes teach us so much about life and about letting go and living in each and every moment. The seasons pass and eventually so will we.

I want to celebrate this autumn with leaves, and sweaters and hot cider and apples and pies. I want to celebrate it with open windows and with warm beef stew. But more than that I want to celebrate by reminding myself there is a season for everything and a time and a passing.

What is important now? What do we need to do to prepare our homes, our families and ourselves for what is directly in front of us? Seasons change and so do I, and so do you. Time waits for no man.

Every Autumn represents the letting go of and making room for all that is next in the life cycle. In living our lives much like the same way that the leaves change colors and eventually fall away, so it will affirm for us again and again how life changes just like the seasons change.

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In each decision that we make; we must consider our life and how it not only defines us but impacts those that are closest to us.

Each day I pray to God for the wisdom as to what I give my time and attention, and asking for His help for me to be busy with the right things and to give my best to those things. Amen.

Autumn gives us so much to embrace and also so much to let go …

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

All books available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble

Adjust and Adapt

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Adjust and Adapt
By Bernadette A. Moyer

 

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We must learn to adjust and to adapt as life is ever changing. To stay stuck in yesterday’s news is like living from behind. Most people hate change. It is like it throws their equilibrium out of tune. I have always embraced change. I love new things and I love to learn. We are all evolving.

History is great but that is exactly what it is, history, the past. Every aspect in our lives depends on how we adjust and adapt to change. Life changes when we leave home, when we get married, take on a new career job, purchase a home and have children. It changes when we embrace new relationships and when we let go of old ones.

We adjust to that new baby or new work place environment. We have to figure it out and to learn again. Many people will suffer a sort of “norms crisis” with their new environment. That new baby cries and disrupts our previous peaceful past. We work with new people that we instantly gel with and others that we may barely tolerate. But we learn from all of them.

I’ve always been the “change charger” in our family and my husband the “slow and steady one.” Together we make a great couple as a result. A guy that has worked for the same organization for 34 years and lived in the same house for 24 years is not a guy who easily embraces change.

When our kids started leaving home, I had the hardest time. The number one job that meant the most to me was in being a mother. I soon learned to take my career and my writing more seriously. These things are what makes me, me. Being a mother was only a part of me not my total being.

Adjusting and adapting to letting my kids go wasn’t easy but now that I have I love my freedom. Less responsibility after decades of being responsible for so many others feels great. Life is easier with less people to please.

I never thought I would be so happy with less people in our home and I am. I think you get to an age where all you really crave is peace. It is so easy to fill our lives up with everyone else’s drama and issues but often at what cost? Perhaps the cost is in denying ourselves and our own needs and wants.

My husband is newly retired and I don’t think I have seen him smile so much! At the end of his career he had reached the highest level that he had wanted for himself, as a General Superintendent. At that level the demands were great and time was a commodity that he often didn’t have. You could physically see what that job was taking out of him. Meetings and meeting and always on24 hour call back for the past 6-years, every waking moment checking his communication devices. He was needed and worked hard to fill the needs.

But the truth is that if we drop dead today, life goes on, not one of us is irreplaceable. So he gave it is all then one day he declared, “I am done, I am not going back. It hasn’t been fun for a long time.” Today we have raised our kids and worked our careers. With two pensions between us, no mortgage and adult children we are free from decades of responsibilities and it feels so new and so good too.

Together we are adjusting to living with less by choice and in spending our time together and doing the things that we love to do. What a blessing! Who knew that during all those grinding it out years that this day would arrive and we would still be young enough to enjoy it.

What is next in retirement? Sleep, sun and some fun! It is time for travel and some classes at our local college, things like Chinese cooking, meditation and ball room dance. All those year we grabbed at responsibility and embraced it and yet today for the first time we are both being very selective about what and who we want to be responsible for, having kids, a home, a career is all about being responsible. We have been there and done that.

We are embracing our future and looking forward to making all the necessary adjustments and adapting to the newness of what comes next.

Adjusting and adapting, that is both the beauty and the secret of life. Adjust and adapt … it makes everything and all of life’s many changes just so much easier.

Updated May of 2016
Once again more adjusting and adapting as my husband has accepted a new position with local government. So it is bye bye early retirement and hello to new challenges … here we go again as life is good and all about learning and growing and doing …

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer
All books by Bernadette A Moyer on Amazon and Barnes & Noble

Comfort Zone

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Comfort Zone
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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We all have one! We all have a comfort zone where things come easily to us and where we are most comfortable. However, it has been said that “life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” Neale Donald Walsch

Most of us would agree that real growth happens when we do step out of our norm and that which is known to us and when we try something new. It could be a new job or a new relationship or travel to a foreign country and learning a new language.

As soon as we try something new, we begin to learn again. Over the Thanksgiving holiday I entered into a 5k walk/run for a local charity. I am not a runner! I never had any intention of running but I did want the experience and to support the cause. My goal was a fast paced walk and to complete the course and do so in under an hour. I met all my goals. Not only did I meet the goal I had set but I also took at least three photos along the way, stopped to tie my sneakers and grabbed a complimentary sip of a drink. Point is that if I was really serious about my time I wouldn’t have hesitated for photos, shoes and a drink. Next year the goal will be to beat my own time!

Entering in a race is completely out of my comfort zone and considering I was tasked with cooking a complete traditional Thanksgiving dinner later that day I could have easily opted out. But the race was my idea and I had engaged my husband and our son too. We were all thrilled to do it and it was a great weather day and a perfect early morning start to our Thanksgiving holiday. It looks like we may have created a new family tradition.

I felt so good after and yet this was completely out of my comfort zone … age 56 and yet another experience I can now add to my life!
Setting goals and trying new things is what life and living is all about. It renews our spirits when we challenge ourselves and when we leave our comfort zone to do so.

“The real value of setting goals is not the recognition or reward; it’s the person we become by finding the discipline, courage and commitment to achieve them.” Catsmiley.com

So here it to living a life that includes brand new experiences, meeting new goals and accepting new challenges as we take a step outside of our own self-created comfort zone …

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

All books are available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble