by Bernadette A. Sahm

There was a time when I was a “people pleaser” and a “yes” girl but not anymore. Today I absolutely delight in saying “no” “no thank you” and “that’s not for me.” When I go with my gut, I instantly feel better. This past July I decided to leave my job and almost immediately the pain in my knee ceased and my stomach issues went away. The job was making me sick. The stress of it was wearing on my body. The demands being made were unattainable and unrealistic. It was time for me to say “good-bye” and I did. Not one day since my departure have, I missed the job and all the work and effort that went with it.

If I go to a movie or a restaurant and it isn’t going well or not up to my expectations, I have no desire to stay as I will politely leave. I have been offered jobs with great compensation packages and kindly stated, “thank you so much but no thanks.” Life is short and whatever time I have left is more valuable than agreeing to say “yes” just to please someone else when I know deep down inside it is not what I want, and isn’t right for me.

And when I do respond with “yes” I am all in and passionate about what I agree to doing. A halfhearted “yes” is not where I want to be, my ‘no” response is with love and respect. Thank you kindly for thinking of me but I will pass.

Earlier this weekend I received a phone call with interest in me for an Executive Director position. I did not seek out this position but was truly honored to be considered. I am not 100% sure what I want at this stage of my life, but I am 100% certain of what I don’t want. Peace is the goal, period. I want to feel good physically, mentally and emotionally. I want my spirit to soar and to shine. The only thing I know for sure is that responding with my gut reaction is always the best way to maintain my highest and best self.

So here is to the wisdom in knowing, when to say “yes” and when to say “thanks, but no thanks, that’s just not for me” Young people often believe there is power in a positive “yes” response, even when they know deep down inside it isn’t right. Maturity teaches us that “no” is a much better answer when it aligns with our true self…

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer