Adjust and Adapt


Adjust and Adapt
By Bernadette A. Moyer


We must learn to adjust and to adapt as life is ever changing. To stay stuck in yesterday, and the news is like living from behind. Most people hate change. It throws their equilibrium out of tune. I have always embraced change. I love new things and I love to learn. We are all evolving.

History is great but that is exactly what it is, history, the past. Every aspect in our lives depends on how we adjust and adapt to change. Life changes when we leave home, when we get married, take on a new career job, purchase a home and have children. It changes when we embrace new relationships and when we let go of old relationships.

We adjust to that new baby or new work place environment. We have to figure it out and to learn again. Many people will suffer a sort of “norms crisis” with their new environment. That new baby cries and disrupts our previous peaceful past. We work with new people that we instantly gel with and others that we may barely tolerate. But we learn from all of them.

I’ve always been the “change charger” in our family and my husband the “slow and steady one.” Together we make a balanced couple as a result. A guy that has worked for the same organization for 35 years and then stays in the same career for several more years and lives in the same house for 28 years is not a guy who easily embraces change. Being with him for over 28 years now, I love that about him.

When our kids started leaving home, I had the hardest time. The number one job that meant the most to me was in being a mother. I soon learned to take my career and my writing more seriously. These things are what makes me, me. Being a mother was only a part of me not my total being.

Adjusting and adapting to letting my kids go wasn’t easy but now that I have, I feel free again, with less responsibility after more than three decades of being responsible for so many others. It feels great. Life is easier with less people to please.

I never thought I would be so happy with less people in our home and I am. I think you get to an age where all you crave is peace. It is so easy to fill our lives up with everyone else and their drama and issues but often at what cost? Perhaps the cost is in denying ourselves and our own needs and wants.

When my husband took an early retirement six years ago, I never witnessed him smile so much! At the end of his career he had reached the highest level that he had wanted for himself, as a General Superintendent. At that level the demands were great and time was a commodity that he often didn’t have. You could physically see what that job was taking out of him. Meetings and more meetings and always on 24 hour call back for the past 6-years, every waking moment checking his communication devices. He was needed and worked hard to fill the needs.

He allowed himself a much needed break for about three years before returning to the same line of work. At first the changes that came with an early retirement was welcome just like a vacation but after 6-months it wore off and although he adjusted to it, he felt like he was missing out and wanted to work again. Next month he will begin his fourth year at the job that he took after his short lived “retirement.”

But the truth is that if we drop dead today, life goes on, not one of us is irreplaceable. What is the line “People plan and God laughs” COVID-19 has changed the world for all of us. Not just in our work schedules but in our personal life and how we deal with our family, our friends and even strangers. We are told to “socially distance” and “self-isolate” all foreign concepts for most humans.

We are embracing our future and looking forward to making all the necessary adjustments and adapting to the newness of what comes next. Not one of us knows what comes next, but I sincerely believe if we embrace it with an open heart and eyes wide open we will still manage to feel and see the best and most important life experiences and lessons.

Adjusting and adapting, that is both the beauty and the secret of life. Adjust and adapt … it makes everything and all of life’s many changes just so much easier.

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All books by Bernadette A Moyer on Amazon and Barnes & Noble

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