When I Wasn’t Loving Myself …


by Bernadette A. Sahm

This blog was started weeks ago and finally on Valentine’s Day I decided to finish it. I have been blessed with a 30-year relationship that is based on love and care. Many have called it “a marriage made in heaven by heaven” all we know is that we feel blessed, and we never take each other for granted. We still date each other, and we always put our marriage first. But it also begins with self-care and self-love. You cannot truly love and accept another human being until you learn to love and accept yourself.

I see it all so clearly now, what I couldn’t see back then, when I just wasn’t loving myself. Every bad decision, every destructive relationship, the times when I didn’t think I was good or good enough. What was I seeking? What was I looking for and what was I recreating to fix or to master? Why was I attracted to people or situations that weren’t good for me and ones that didn’t treat me right? Why was my younger self willing to settle for so much less than what I deserved? What did it take for me to finally know better?

Aging and self-reflection offer so many good answers. I had to grow into my best self. I had to experience the hurts, the pain and the loss of much to finally hit my bottom and get back up and in touch with my core and my best self. For years I valued others’ opinions of me over my own opinion of myself. In my younger days, I repeatedly gave my power away and in doing so, I gave my self-worth away.

When we love ourselves, we won’t accept what is not right for us. Loving decisions start with how we treat ourselves, how we speak to ourselves and our own inner dialogue. Loving ourselves enough to feed our mind, our body and our soul a diet of healthy good for us choices.

Sometimes we settle for less than what we should and/or we allow ourselves to make less than loving choices. Women are natural caregivers and often put themselves last, we have to learn that it isn’t selfish to love ourselves and put ourselves first. If we don’t love and care for ourselves, why would anyone else love and care for us? We teach people how to treat us by how we treat ourselves and by what we are willing to accept.

Our best life can only ever be achieved when we love ourselves enough to make our life the priority. What do I need to do to be my best? What is good for my mind for my body and my soul to be happy and whole and living my best life? We all have our own unique answers to these questions.

It’s been said “it is not about the destination. It’s about the journey.” Each journey affords us the opportunity for growth and development, and the chance to know and love ourselves. If your life isn’t what you love and it doesn’t make you happy, you alone can change it! Enjoy the journey …

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

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