I Had This Idea
By Bernadette A. Moyer
I had this idea that if I did the right things, the right thing would happen for me.
- What I learned is that doing the right thing was what I do for myself and it doesn’t guarantee that things will turn out like I thought.
I had this idea that living by the golden rule would guarantee that if I treated others like I want to be treated they would do the same.
- What I learned is that many people want and expect to be treated better than what they treat others, I learned many do things they would never want done to themselves.
I had this idea that I could trust all my “friends” because that was the understood definition of friendship.
- What I learned is that isn’t necessarily true and that trusting myself was what was lasting and most important.
I had this idea that if my husband and I worked really hard and gave our children a stable home they would become stable.
- What I learned is their stability would have to come from within themselves.
I had this idea that if I was open and generous others in my life would also be open and generous.
- What I learned is that being open and generous is what I do for myself, others may choose to be closed off.
I had this idea that most things fall into a black or white, right or wrong kind of area.
- What I learned is that many things fall in that gray area.
I had this idea that some events in my life were good and others bad.
- What I learned was that if I turned it around even the things that appeared “bad” could become good and meaningful.
I had this idea that I had to wait for this or that to happen first before going on to the next thing.
- What I learned is that the here and the now are the best times.
I had this idea that my sense of wellness and peace was connected to something or someone else.
- What I learned was that my wellness and peace were always within me, I just needed to tap into it and be open to it.
I had this idea that if I was loveable everyone would just love me.
- What I learned is that I am loveable whether others choose to love me or not is about them.
I had this idea that my happiness was connected to someone or something else.
- What I learned is that my happiness lives inside of me and is not dependent on anyone or anything else.
I had this idea if I pushed harder, tried harder did everything right that I would always end up in a good place.
- What I learned is that I don’t have to try so hard, sitting back and trusting in the universe brings about all the good naturally.
I had this idea how things should be at 20 and at 30 and at 40 and at 50.
- What I learned is that each decade defines itself in its own way and in its own time.
I had this idea that life is a beautiful thing!
- What I learned is that life truly is a beautiful thing and even the ugly and the sad and the pain of loss and of love add a beautiful dimension. They offer their own beautiful gifts as long as we are open and willing to receive them.
On Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer
Bernadette A. Sahm 
This is just beautiful and so full of wisdom Bernadette. Thank you.
I really appreciate your feedback. Thanks Ginny!
Beautiful yes life is no rose garden we must plant our own seed from with in.
Bernadette,
Your words are soothing and a balm for my soul. I too am an estranged parent.
Thanks Teresa for connecting and for your kind words! I appreciate them. I am sorry about the estrangement. Please know that you are not alone!
Bernadette, this was beautifully written! Thank you for your wisdom.
Michelle
Thanks Michelle!
These are some true facts thanks for sharing needed to read this today
Thanks Kathy for reading and for connecting!
I had the same ideas. I realize now how wrong I was, but I am having a hard time learning the things you learned. There is so much pain. I don’t know how to move.
Just breathe. Take a moment and breathe cry it out sleep it out. Nurture yourself. Take a step back save yourself. Allow yourself the time to get strong again. Sending Angel hugs and peace to you!
Bernadette,
Such wise and true words from someone who has obviously lived this! After putting everyone else first in life, and learning some very hard lessons, I am approaching 60 with such a great attitude and sense of peace. I know that I have lived, learned, and will continue to transcend….I think that’s the best part of being thankful for what you have…and embracing those in our lives that truly love and appreciate us.
Lisa♡
Thanks Lisa! We live and we learn and wisdom sure does come with age! Peace and love, Bernadette
I appreciated the truth in this article. It expresses so many feelings that I have had. Now I trust and look for my strength, answers and fulfillment from God, no longer others or circumstances.
So agree! Thanks for sharing! ❤️
I found your article dated 2015 about Estranged Adult Daughters. It didn’t seem possible that someone else has gone through this same experience. It has been 3 years for me estranged from my youngest daughter. She has twin girls whose birthday last Thursday is shared with my mothers birthday. I have felt the loss of her and my grandchildren so deeply. My mind still can not accept it but I must. Have you ever reconnected with your daughter?