Life Isn’t Lived in the Rear View


Life Isn’t Lived in the Rear View

By Bernadette A. Moyer


We don’t live our lives in the rear view mirror and yet so many of us are stuck in the past and in the rear. What we knew or what we know seems to be far less scary than what lies ahead; the unknown. Life goes on … no matter what yesterday brought or what today brings … life continues on.

Recently I flipped through many of my favorite books; books that were written by Hope Edelman, Marianne Williamson, Michael Singer and Michael Dooley. All of these writers are inspirational writers and not one of these books, am I ready to part with. As I flip through the pages I am aware of why I purchased them and where I was during that period of time in my life. I am also aware that I still glean insight from many of the pages; the written words still speak to me.

There is so much that we learn in looking back as hind sight truly is 20-20, did we receive the message though, and did we learn? Or are we destined to repeat the same?

My husband and I are blessed during this phase in our lives, as we are able to travel and to spend quality time together without the distractions of raising children and huge big career jobs that often left us both challenged and deflated and many times accomplished. Today we have the benefits of 20-20 vision and have made our peace with the “past lane.” It’s been stated, “If you can’t fix it or change it, it probably isn’t your issue or your problem to begin with.”

We have both accepted who we are and where we come from and we accepted our defeats and our accomplishments. Our kids were all successful while under our roof and no one ever got into any serious trouble while living at home. One of the most challenging parts for any parents is seeing your child fail and not being able to do anything about it. You learn humility and see just how small you are in the bigger picture. What you may have wanted vs what is and has happened. We can’t change anything that has already taken place. There are no do-overs in life.

If we are lucky we live and we learn and we continue to grow and to do our best every single day and by doing our best the view from the rear is easy to take and to accept. Wisdom comes from the past lane of life. What will the future hold comes from faith and the willingness to forge ahead in love and in trust and in faith. We learn to trust ourselves. Nothing dies before its time.

As my husband and I enter our 23 years together our overwhelming sense is of gratitude. We continue to feel God-blessed and so grateful for our union. We have the “past lane” that we share but we stand firm in forging ahead for all that life has yet to offer us. Together we have learned many life lessons. Together we are better than if we were apart. Together we have made the decision to be happy!   And what a great decision it is …

Bernadette on Facebook at

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