Asking Her Father


Asking Her Father
By Bernadette A. Moyer

It’s nice to see that some traditions have staying power and still ring true for so many young couples wanting to marry. Yesterday I was at my nail salon getting my nails done when I began talking with the young lady next to me. Later that afternoon she was going ring shopping with her soon to be fiancé’.

She shared the story of what it was like when her boyfriend “asked her father” for her hand in marriage. They had been dating for several years and the parents openly accepted him. But … dad wasn’t so quick to say “yes” but replied with “I will let you know after I discuss it with her mother.” It wasn’t long before the much anticipated answer was “yes.” She talked about respect, the respect her boyfriend had for her and for her father and mother. She knew that this would translate to the best possible start to their married life.

Later that day I attended a wedding myself and this young couple also began with tradition in “asking her father” for his daughters hand in marriage. As I sat through the church service and later the reception you could see all the friends and family support for this newly married couple. They definitely have all the markings for making it and staying together and I have to believe it begins with respect.

“Over the years I have counseled many young couples and the couples that begin the marriage process with “asking her father” are by far the ones that manage to stay together.” Father John

As a wedding officiant myself I see it too. When a man loves a woman and respects her and her family of origin enough to “ask her father” it sets the stage for a healthy and happy beginning. This single act lets the family know that this is a good start to a life that is beginning with inclusion and with love and with respect.

In a world that is ever changing it is so refreshing to see that some traditions survive the test of time.

On the way home from the wedding yesterday I couldn’t help but ask my husband about it. What would you think if someday you were in the position where a young man came to you for the sole purpose of “asking her father” and his response was without thought “it’s still the right thing to do!”

Bernadette on Facebook at


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