suspend judgement – Bernadette A. Sahm

A Snap Shot
By Bernadette A. Moyer

It’s that wonderful time of year again when all the trees are changing colors and the air is crisp and clean and you just want to enjoy the outdoors and take it all in before winter weather arrives.

I walked to our corner mailbox to drop a few letters inside and at the mailbox I looked across the street and witnessed one of the most beautiful orange leaves on a big tree that had turned colors. The sun was streaming through it. I wanted to capture the moment and grabbed for my cell phone as I stood there and clicked away at taking a few pictures.

At this same time a lady from our neighborhood walked by with her dog and said, “Oh wow taking a selfie at the mailbox for Happy and Chipper?” I laughed and waved her off as my husband had just appeared to pick me up since we were headed out together for the day.

Then I quickly turned to her and said, “No selfie actually look at that beautiful tree, that tree was what I was taking pictures of …”

Sometimes we see something and we think we know what we are seeing when in fact our snap shot view isn’t correct. We presume to know.

Recently we went on a trip out of town when my son sent me a picture of the house and front yard. I thought he was showing me that he cut the grass. My response was “good.” Little did he know that I missed the message, or did I know at the time he was showing me that the contractor we hired had come by and installed new hand rails.

I totally missed it. What my son was sharing was not at all the snap shot that I had in my mind. Sometimes we totally miss the picture and in doing so miss the message.
We are often so quick to glean our own conclusions that we totally miss what is actually happening. We think we see something that we totally missed and in our snap shot view we may get it wrong.

One of my favorite phrases is “suspend judgement” wait until we have the total picture before coming to any conclusions. What we think we see in a “snap shot” moment just may not be the complete and total picture, and it may not capture the entire story …

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Forbearance … My New Favorite Word
By Bernadette A Moyer

Forbearance is my new favorite word and not one that we hear used very often today. According to the dictionary; forbearance means patience, restraint, tolerance and in a legal agreement to stop payments or debts for a period of time.

Over the weekend I watched a Hallmark movie set in the 1940’s where this word was used by the main character as she sat at the Thanksgiving dinner table. She thanked everyone for their “forbearance.” This character was accepted by a family and married in a prearranged wedding when she was pregnant with another man’s baby. Her father sent her away. It was intended to punish her but what she found was true love and forgiveness and in her own words, forbearance.

“Ye great sinners, and yet great saints who need great forbearance.” Last year I received a handwritten letter asking me to “try and suspend judgement” in regard to the actions of someone who affected my life. Sounds like forbearance to me. It came from a very wise old Christian woman.

Today with rapid information we make rapid judgements. We have instant news and some of it is faulty. Some time ago, it was posted online that Jon Bon Jovi died and this turned out to be false information as he is still very much alive. Penn State’s Former Coach Joe Paterno was reported “dead” before his actual passing. We don’t read much in print anymore since the daily paper seems to be more like day old news. The internet is faster and more current. But did we lose something in our attempt for faster is better? Have we lost a certain degree of accuracy?

We judge people, we think we know. The news reports a story and we have already decided who is guilty. Who amongst us wants to be judged without all the facts? Yet it happens every single day. Our ego tells us “we know” and so we judge all the while never allowing for the “suspension of judgement.” Forbearance is my new favorite word and more than that it will be something I try to practice.

Patience, self-control, tolerance, restraint, forbearance, who among us doesn’t need more of this in our daily life? Forbearance, I just love the sound of it!

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