The Capacity to Love


The Capacity to Love

By Bernadette A. Moyer


Does everyone have the capacity to love? And how much of our capacity to give and to receive love has to do with how we feel and think about ourselves? Do we learn love? Or is it something that we are just naturally born with?

Does love beget love and hatred begets hatred? Can you love yourself if you hate the very people that gave your life, your parents? You come from your parents, so doesn’t hate for your parents the same as hating yourself? To hate your child, is to hate yourself? Are we capable of loving everyone? Or do we have a type?

Is the opposite of love, hatred or indifference? What makes love grow and what makes love turn? How much of our ability to give and to receive love is predetermined or predestined? Can we change our own capacity to love?

Lots of questions I know, it seems like some people are just better at love than others. Some people naturally seem to attract love while others seem to have difficulty finding and keeping love in their life.

I am more and more convinced that the relationships we have with others is directly related to how we feel about ourselves. To love another, you must first be able to love yourself. The longest relationship we will ever have is with ourselves.

“And I think real healing — healing that lets us hold ourselves and the injured parts of the world in our hearts, healing that teaches us how to live fully, comes from intimacy, from the ability to be with what is no matter how hard.” The Dance – Oriah

“Many Christians get mixed up about what love really is. They know they should love God and others, but don’t understand that loving yourself is one-third of God’s equation. Instead, they mistakenly think of it as being selfish or egotistical.” Love Out Loud – Joyce Meyer

I believe that all things, all things are possible with love just as I believe that without love we are disadvantaged. Loving ourselves is the first step to opening the door for others to love us too.

More Love, Lord

And this is my prayer: that my love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that I may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ.” PHILIPPIANS

If you would like to respond to any of the questions above or have your own thoughts and would like to share please e-mail Bernadette at

Bernadette on Facebook at

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