An Amazing Love Story!
By Bernadette A. Sahm
It is an amazing love story and it is ours! My husband has often said, “Wouldn’t it have been great if we met in high school and started our relationship then?” My answer is always the same, “no because we would not have been ready for one another.”
In my view our timing was just right and some have even called it “a marriage made in heaven, by heaven.” We were both widowed with children when we met and we had both been pretty broken up by some life events. We knew what it feels like to be hurt by love.
No one is more surprised by how happy and content I am in our 24 year relationship than me, in the past I was averaging about 5-years as a “long-term” relationship. After 5-years I was either bored or broken.
Brian and I have faced many life altering events together, we came together with two broken families and tried to merge two half’s to make a whole. I give him the credit for having the patience he has with me. Early on he often said, “You are not alone.” This was in response to my extreme independence and my history of going it alone. I had trust issues and they were multi-layered.
I came from a family that had no boundaries when I was growing up and severely lacked any respect. Sadly this has remained the same throughout adulthood. And learning to let my guard down and to trust was really difficult for me. I did not come from a loving family, hard as it is to admit it, it is the absolute truth.
Whereas Brain grew up knowing that his parents loved him and that they were really proud of him. He also credits sports as the vehicle that saved him from growing up in the inner city that was surrounded by poverty, drugs and violence.
I always knew that my father loved me and I always suspected that my mother did not. When I was born she remained in the hospital and I was sent home. She had difficulties after giving birth to me. My father favored me and I was his female namesake. When she died I was excluded from her obituary as though I never existed. Affirmed and affirmed over and over again, our strained relationship.
When I left home I immediately jumped into yet another abusive relationship, this was what was known to me and what felt normal. It took a lot of strength and a lot of work to rise above it and to move away from abusive relationships. Today I have zero tolerance for any abuse that is directed toward me, I don’t just walk away, I run and I seal the door shut. I now know better.
Brian and I both knew there was a better way … and together we created that better way. That doesn’t mean that during the early years we weren’t challenged and we certainly did our fair share of hurting one another. Our commitment to our union was always stronger than any desire to flee. We loved each other and we wanted to work through our challenges and we wanted to do it together as a team.
We truly enjoy each other and I can’t tell you how often I have heard, “Brian doesn’t talk to anyone or Brian doesn’t talk to me.” Yet from day 1 we had conversations that went on for hours. I literally couldn’t shut him up! Today he may not initially talk to new people but he does once he trusts them.
He is really good at checking people out and makes really great character decisions. So back to ours is a love story and what makes it so …
First off we are attracted to one another I think he is handsome and he finds me attractive, yep it’s pretty primal but then right after that is that we have so much in common and that we like the same things. We grew up in the same period of time and still enjoy classic rock and roll music and much of what the 70’s were all about.
And even though we are really close, travel a lot together and spend so much time together he makes me laugh with conversations like this one that just took place yesterday. Me: so what are you watching? Him: Football because that’s what men do on Sunday’s. I just laugh and keep cooking! Oh my God, did he really just say that!
My husband really loves me and I really love him, we really like each other too. Pretty basic but that is the secret to our happy marriage and we respect one another. We have boundaries that we have built a very safe, loving and lasting love affair upon … ours is a favorite love story and I hope that yours is too.
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All books by Bernadette A. Moyer are available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble