You Are A Survivor!


You Are A Survivor!
By Bernadette A. Moyer


There is always a process when you write; a topic and a subject come to mind and then what to share and to say. Normally something happens and triggers the idea. I have started just doing the titles and then getting back to the subject. Do I still want to blog about it a few days or maybe weeks later when I didn’t get right to it the first time after that first thought. Then is it something I have to think about and ponder before I actually put words to my thoughts.

This was a topic and a word that my “other mother” threw around several times during a recent lunch. She was treating me to lunch since I was the “winner” of our bet, she was certain that Hillary would win and I went with Trump and of course the rest is history.

But during that lunch conversation she repeatedly called me a “survivor” and it struck me because in my mind we are all “survivors” aren’t we? Or we would cease to exist. I never thought there was any other choice but according to her there was, I could have quit, just curled up and died but I always came back from whatever knocked me down. I always got back up again. To her that meant I was a “survivor.”

I had to stop and look it up what was she saying about me? And why was it a point she was making over and over again. The definition that felt right was this; a person who copes well with difficulties in their life. After reading that I could relate and was getting it, often I hear from readers who write and tell me that I “saved” them with my sharing of my stories. Actually they “save” me right back when they write and connect and affirm me.

When I think back most all of the “hits” and knock downs were from people that were supposed to be closest to me, people like family; one was a friend of thirty years. You would think that these people, the family and the long term friend would be the least likely but it reminds me of a phrase my grandmother often used, “familiarity breeds contempt.” And it translates to “extensive knowledge of a close association with someone or something leads to loss of respect for them or it.” She was old and wise and she was right.

We teach people where we are vulnerable and where they can hurt us. Most people close to us know our soft spots.

Looking back on the things and the people that tried to hurt me and knock me down not one of those hits was worth the attention I once gave them. It reminds me of my thought process regarding getting upset over things, if it is something that you probably won’t remember next week, next month or next year it probably is not worth being upset over, and it isn’t.

I think being a “survivor” is a state of mind and one that we should all exercise … because what is the opposite of “survivor” the antonyms are words like victim, loser, weak and unfortunate. Who wants that? Not me!

So as hard as whatever you are facing may be just know that you can and you will survive it, we can all make the choice to be a “survivor” and I do believe that it is a choice.

Bernadette on at
All books by Bernadette A. Moyer on Amazon and Barnes & Noble

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