history

The Teller of the Story

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The Teller of the Story
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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All writers are tellers of stories. Recently a friend shared her “immigrant book” where she writes and tells about family stories that originated in Italy. Her family history and roots are important to her and she writes about them and wants to share them.

Miranda Lambert has a new song called “The Keeper of the Flame” the lyrics;

I’m the keeper of the flame
The teller of the story
Keeper of the flame
For the ones that came before me

I think that is all that we have and can truly value; our stories. I also think that is why relationships that are broken are so hard to accept because we want to share our story and we want to keep the flame going.

In 1998 my oldest daughter estranged and I am holding so many stories that I want to share with her. Funny little stories that might not mean much to most people but they are part of our history. I want to tell her about the first time she tried broccoli. She was just two years old and she took a bite while in our small Texas kitchen. She walked from one room to another chewing on it and chewing on it and chewing on it and then returned to me in our kitchen and spit it out in my hand. She tried it and really gave it a good try but just didn’t like it!

I want to tell her about how she took her Beta fish to show and tell in kindergarten. How much spunk and attitude she showed as a little girl when someone didn’t say her name correctly. And so many other little stories … stories that are lost forever if not shared and told.

Today is the anniversary of my husband late wife’s death. It was 25 years ago. She left him with pre-mature infant twins a son and a daughter. He is the “keeper of the flame” as he alone has so many little stories about their very first few days and weeks of life. How they were as infants and how he was as a first time new father.

We all share our stories partly to connect and in part to keep the story alive and remembered. Our stories are important to us as they chronicle our lives. I think most parents have vivid recall of the early years of their children’s lives. The stories help to show us how unique and special they are and we are and our stories validate our life.

When we are the witness of the life of another person we automatically become “the teller of the story” and the “keeper of the flame” for them, we are part of their story and history. Broken relationships don’t allow for the sharing and telling of the story.

When we fail to share the flame becomes much harder to keep alive and keep burning.

In history where would we be without story tellers? And without those that were willing to write about them and document them and keep them alive and burning for the next generation?

Stories should be shared as they teach us about life about ourselves and about one another.

And because Miranda Lambert says it so well, more lyrics from her song Keeper of the Flame;

I’m walking in their footsteps
I’m singing their old songs
Somebody blazed this trail
I’m treadin’ on
I’m bent, but I’m not broken
I’m stronger than I feel
I’m made of flesh and bone
Not made of steel

When I’m drowning
When I’m fighting
When I’m screaming
When I’m hiding
When I’m losing
When I’m winning
I go back to
The beginning

Keeper of the flame
The teller of the story

Share your stories, tell your stories, write your stories because in the end that is all we really have … the stories are important and so are you and all the people in them!

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer
All books by Bernadette A. Moyer on Amazon and Barnes and Noble

You Can’t Have History with No History

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You Can’t Have History with No History
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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One of the very first things that my husband ever said to me was, “I can’t wait until we have some history together.” He was longing for a long term relationship and marriage that had eluded him. He had two previous marriages not only end badly but both lasted just over a year. One marriage ended in divorce and one in death.

I knew what he meant because we shared a similar history. I had one relationship end in infidelity just like he did and before that a husband who died.

In my marriage to my husband Brian, we both wanted the same things; a long lasting and loving marriage. We wanted to be in it together.My prior relationships both lasted just over five years. Some history but really not that much and history dies when the partner dies. It is there, it is part of the past but it is also just a memory. You can’t build anything on what is already dead. When it is dead, it ends.

“If you change partners every time it gets tough or you get a little dissatisfied then I don’t think you get the richness that’s available in a long-term relationship.” Jeff Bridges

Nothing can take the place of history. You either have it or you don’t. Nothing can take the place of years and years of time spent together. And when you have the desire to continue to grow your history, you know that it is only possible because it is a living loving thing that you share and work toward together.

When we have history it is harder and harder to just let it go. You begin to cherish each other more and more because you have shared a significant period of time in your lives together. We shared our 30’s and our 40’s and now our 50’s together.

Love grows. I can honestly say that I love and I enjoy my husband more today than during many of our earlier years. It took the times together, the experiences both up and down that helped us to build a life together. We definitely have history. This year we honor our 20 years of marriage and 25 years together.

Like all couples with a history we have endured many challenges. Some could have torn us apart and they didn’t. Looking back our challenges brought us even closer together. Today our history is not only long but rich.

When we lose people that we loved our loss is of course in having that person in our lives gone from us, and what we also lose and what gets wiped away is the ability to share more and to create more history.

You cannot have a history without what takes time, lots and lots of time and years and years of investment and most of all commitment to acquire.

Bernadette on Facebook atwww.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

Books by Bernadette A. Moyer on Amazon and Barnes and Noble

Fasnacht (doughnut) Day

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Fasnacht (doughnut) Day

By Bernadette A. Moyer

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Sometimes it is spelled “faschnacht” it is the English name for a fried donut and observed on Shrove Tuesday, the day before the Lenten season begins. Having grown up in the Northeast of Pennsylvania I was aware of and often celebrated Fasnacht day with a donut. Well, actually, probably, maybe more than just one!

In parts of Maryland the treats are called Kinklings and sold in bakeries on Shrove Tuesday. The word Fasnacht is German meaning Fast (verb to fasten, fast) and Nacht meaning night, eve, and the eve of Lent.

Shrove Tuesday is also known as Fat Tuesday, this is said to have come about in preparation of fasting during Lent and giving up rich and fat foods such as eggs, milk, meat and rich buttery dishes. Families were encouraged to eat up the rich foods in their pantries. In England they call Shrove Tuesday, Pancake Day.

Ash Wednesday is the beginning of the most Holy Christian holidays following Strove Tuesday and a time when many choose fasting and repentance for the 40 days leading up to Easter Sunday.

As a kid, I just knew it to be “donut day” as an adult I love the little bit of history that came about during this period just before Lent and just how it was celebrated. You don’t have to be a Christian to enjoy pancakes or donuts; sometimes it is fun just to say the word “Fasnacht” and to understand what it means.

In case anyone is looking for me, I’ll be picking mine up at Brown’s Market in Loganville, PA, they are the best! This should hold me over and through the Lenten season this year, when I plan to indulge far less. I can already anticipate the experience in getting my bag, they offer plain, glazed and powdered and they are larger than most donuts, they are fried and you can taste it but they aren’t greasy and they are just so soft and fresh.

The smell at Brown’s is intoxicating and that first bit is well worth the trip. There is a separate stand at the market just for donuts on Fasnacht day and many have called ahead with their order. It is just fun to be a part of it and to celebrate Fat Tuesday. Who doesn’t love a really good donut?

So on Tuesday February 28, 2017 support your local bakery and enjoy a fresh donut.

Happy Facnacht Day!

Bernadette on Facebook at www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer