by Bernadette A. Sahm

Birthdays we all have them, until we don’t … Some birthdays we remember because they were great and others maybe because they were sad, or the ones where we celebrated milestones in our lives. I don’t have much recall of my childhood birthdays, but I do remember my 21st birthday, and I remember it very clearly. Because just three days later I would become a new mother to my daughter.

On my 40th birthday we had a private party in my store located in the old Hunt Valley Mall in Maryland where jazz musicians Dottie and Al played for us. I also gifted my newly published poetry book titled; Bare Breasted Heart to all our guests.

My 50th was special because we bought a convertible and drove it from Lutherville, Maryland to Key West, Florida where we celebrated in a big way! My book Halfway Home the First 50 Years was also released that year in an effort to celebrate being “50” 55 was special too as we flew to Las Vegas for a week and enjoyed learning a new destination for us. And my 60th was memorable because we went under contract on that day purchasing our second beach property.

I remember our children’s birthdays with a “Sweet 16” for my daughter at the Camden Club at Oriole Park at Camden Yards. We celebrated the twin’s 7th birthday with a party at our home for all their classmates. At 13 we celebrated them in the Poconos for a tubing trip to celebrate their January birthdays. Different years deemed different celebrations, and all birthdays were regarded as special!

In October I celebrate my 67th birthday and am just grateful to be happy, healthy and alive. This year, to help me celebrate I asked a few close friends and some family to write about “birthdays” anything they wanted to share and contribute to this blog and so here we go …

Happy Birthday to Us by Courtney K.

On a warm summer evening hours after pain, I find myself lying in a hospital bed, surrounded by doctors, nurses, and my husband. Finally, you’re here! My sweet baby boy. Happy birthday to you, Elijah Matthew. I cradle you and stroke your hair as you lay on my chest and listen to my heartbeat. Time ticks away until I look up at the clock and realize, 12:01. Happy birthday to me, now a mom of three, and I thank God for the best birthday I’ve ever had.

Courtney K. from Smyrna, Delaware

Then and now … by Marty N.

The two most exciting days as a kid were Christmas and my birthday. They were the guaranteed days of gifts, and as a kid, nothing is better! As I’ve aged, and now in my mid-fifties, birthdays have definitely changed. I find myself marking the ones that end in 5s and 0s more than any other because all of them seem more bittersweet now. I’m not afraid of getting older. What birthdays do remind me of, though, are the people who are no longer here, they remind of where life hasn’t necessarily gone as planned, all while coupled with the chance for possibility for what lies ahead. I still have that to balance my sense of sadness.

Even when I go to a birthday of a niece or nephew, I feel that energy. You know their energy is contagious, but it is also coupled with my own which is hard to ignore. Birthdays are special. I’ve come to appreciate the fullness of the day, both the joy anbd the sadness which accompany each other through the day.

Marty N. from Scottsdale, Arizona

Mom and Me by Janie D.

My mother and I share a birthday exactly 30 years apart. We always spent part of our birthdays together often at her home or mine, sometimes going out for lunch or dinner to celebrate. That first birthday after she passed was the most difficult birthday I ever had, it was just so sad, and I couldn’t imagine celebrating without her.

Then one year I was invited to Italy with my church group and had a wonderful time. Another year I traveled to Canada with a dear friend. I started using my birthdays as a time to explore new places, sometimes to a new town or city. I have so many fond memories of all the birthdays I shared with my mother. And I know that she would be so proud of me for all the new ways I found to celebrate the life that she gave me and the birth date that we both share.

Janie D. from Allentown, Pennsylvania

Still Gathering Hands at 73 by Joyce R.

So many hands that handed me birthday cakes are now gone. My mother’s hands whipping up a favorite dinner; Dad’s giving squeezes saying, “you look beautiful, sweetie.” Friends from school days and work years, even if I can’t hold their hands anymore.

For a while I wondered if birthdays would feel emptier. But since moving to the beach, I’ve learned something; hands keep finding you. I keep in touch with those friends gathered along the way – phone calls, texts, cards, memories that don’t fade. And I love growing new friends here in Rehoboth Beach.

The familiar hands of siblings still bring comfort and joy, arriving with quick visits and delightful outings. The Senior Center hands I get to play Mexican Train with every week. We get loud and laugh until we snort. The church family hands I clasp in worship and fellowship. The ones who pass the peace and pass the casseroles. The hands where I work in the deli and get to meet and share a sample of bologna, just because.

Neighbor hands that wave me over. “Sit awhile. Catch up. The door is open.” And the thousands of quiet hands I’ve never met, all of us sitting side by side, watching the waves roll in endlessly. We don’t speak, yet we are all keeping company. At home there is a faithful and loving husband whose hand is my daily joy. Steady and warm, still choosing mine after all these years.

Above all, there’s my God. The Hand that directs my steps every single day. He is the one who handed me to these people and handed them to me. The One who never let go, even when the birthday table changed. I don’t have children; I used to wonder what that would mean. Now I know. It meant I get to say “yes” to a thousand other hands.

So, this year, the cake may be smaller, the love is not, old hands are remembered, new hands are welcomed. And the hand that holds it all still holds mine. That’s more than enough for “73” this September.

Joyce R. from Rehoboth Beach, Delaware

Birthdays by Amber F.

There is something about birthdays as a child that has always felt a little magical. The anticipation leading up to the day, knowing it is your day, and wondering what it might bring. Maybe it means being surrounded by family and friends, doing something special you don’t get to do all the time, or counting down the minutes until you can finally open that one gift you’ve been hoping for.

When I became a mom, I knew I wanted birthdays to feel that way for my kids. I wanted their birthdays to be something they looked forward to every year, not necessarily because of the gifts or the party itself, but because it was a day when the people who love them came together just to celebrate them. A day when cousins made memories together, childhood friends started to feel more like family, and everyone had an excuse to slow down and spend a few hours catching up on life.

For us, that usually comes with a little coastal flair in the form of a backyard crab feast, plenty of good food, and a party that encourages everyone to settle in and stay awhile. Of course, as the mom hosting it all, the day feels a little different. There is the planning, budgeting, decorating, cleaning, and inevitable stress that comes with trying to make everything just right. And after all that preparation, the actual party somehow passes in what feels like five minutes.

But in those five minutes, there is so much I want to remember. The sound of the kids laughing. The funny little things that inevitably happen. The sugar rush from having all their favorite treats in one place. The water activities outside, the piñata, the excitement of opening gifts. And then there is my favorite part: singing “Happy Birthday.”

There is something about watching my child sitting in front of a birthday cake, surrounded by people who love them, while everyone sings their name. Then comes that little pause before they lean forward and blow out the candles. To them, it is probably just the best part of getting to eat the cake. To me, it feels like the official closing of another chapter.

For just a few seconds, I think about the entire year that brought us to those candles, the good parts and the hard ones. The memories we made. The school milestones we reached. The challenges we worked through. The ways they grew that I noticed and probably so many that I didn’t. If I could somehow slow down the “Happy Birthday” song and permanently engrave those few seconds into my memory, I would.

Then, eventually, everyone goes home. The backyard gets quiet. I’m cleaning up in the dark, completely exhausted, when one of my kids inevitably announces that they are starving because, despite an entire party full of food, they apparently forgot to eat anything besides snacks and cake.

After a little grumbling about how there was food available all day, I make them something to eat. And almost every year, while they are curled up on the couch waiting for me, completely worn out from running and playing, I’ll walk over to tell them their food is ready. If they haven’t already fallen asleep, I usually hear some version of: “Mom, I love you. This was the best birthday ever.”

And there it is. The reason I do it all again the next year. I know there will come a birthday when a party at home in the backyard planned by Mom won’t feel quite as cool anymore. There are only so many years when they will count down the days with this kind of excitement, run around the yard with their cousins, swing at a piñata, and fall asleep on the couch afterward believing their mom somehow created the best birthday ever.

So, for now, I’ll take the planning, the budgeting, the mess, the stress, and the cleanup in the dark. Because I know I’m not really planning birthday parties. I’m helping create pieces of their childhood. And for as long as they’ll let me, I’ll happily embrace the chaos just to watch their little hearts burst with excitement for their big day.

Amber F. from Smyrna, Delaware

A Birthday to Cherish by Mary C.

I woke up on my thirtieth birthday to the smell of fried bacon sizzling in the kitchen downstairs. Today was just another school day therefore I knew I would be wished a happy birthday but would have to wait to celebrate my birthday later that day. For many years my mother had baked specialty cakes for each of her eight children and every year, I looked forward to being special on that day. But today I felt a turning point, and I guess my mother did too. Today on my thirtieth birthday, my mother gifted me nylons in many colors. She was telling me in her own way that I was a young lady, entering into changes that would soon come in my life.

How surprised I was to receive a gift of such tenderness. Still feeling twelve but knowing I was at a turning point of becoming a teenager. I never knew until now, how that one birthday had impacted my life and stored a memory for life.

Mary C. from Lewes, Delaware

My 21st Birthday by Brandon S.

The year I turned 21 my parents took me out to dinner, and I had surf and turf, who doesn’t like lobster and a filet? During dinner I enjoyed my first “legal” drink and had a beer with my mom and dad. After dinner my dad and I celebrated with a shot of Jack Daniels whiskey. It was a “rite of passage” that I could have a drink at age 21 but what made is so special was sharing that experience with my parents who raised me and with my dad who I idealized for the man that he is and that I hoped to become. A treasured birthday memory for sure.

My parents always made sure my birthdays were well celebrated; I remember when my twin sister and I were in grade school. Mom showed up with two cakes a Barbie cake for my twin and a Thomas the Tank Engine for me. She could have easily just brought one cake to share but even then, she made sure we both knew that we were special.

Brandon S. from Gaithersburg, Maryland

Turning 80 by Nancy C.

This past birthday I celebrated turning 80 years old and invited into my home, a favorite Chef from a local Italian restaurant along with five friends to help me celebrate. He taught us how to make homemade pasta and about wine and wine pairings. We celebrated my birthday with good food and drink. I still miss my husband who always made my birthdays so very special. When you reach the age of 80, you are acutely aware of the facts that you have far more birthdays behind you than you do in front of you. Yet, each and every birthday is a gift from God, and therefore a cause for celebration.

Nancy C. from Baltimore, Maryland

The Earlier Ones I Remember by Brian S.

When I was 13 my parents gave me a Timex watch with a red face on it and I thought it was so cool. And as a kid with five siblings, I loved their birthdays cards that always included a $5 bill. When I was 18 my dad gave me a Norelco triple head electric shaver and it made me feel like another “milestone” in becoming an adult.

When I was older and my birthday fell on a Friday or a Monday, I would take off from work for a long weekend to celebrate. One year and I don’t remember how old I was, but I was working and out in the field most of the day. When I returned to my office there was a brand-new utility truck waiting for me. I know it wasn’t my birthday “present” but memorable because it arrived on my birthday.

Brian S. from Rehoboth Beach, Delaware

Birthday Memories by Diane L.

Ah… a Birthday coming up. Running through my head is ‘this one won’t be any different this year from the last’…it comes and goes, never leaves a lasting memory. So, writing about this non-existent memory is not easy for this old senior’s head. But here goes…..

A birthday is life. The first breath of air, the first cry and what must be, the first frightening flare of light and noise. No memories there. But the celebration of that beginning continues for most of us every year of our lives from that moment on….

For me it’s a day, similar to New Years Day. A day of starting something new. In the past few years, mainly trying once again to lose those extra darn 10 pounds. But early on it meant getting ready for the next school year. An August birthday meant most of my trips “downtown” with my family were for back-to-school items…shoes at “Buster Browns,” and the highlight of the shopping trip, the step onto the x-ray machine that showed my feet as skeleton bones! Perhaps a hidden memory I dragged out as a young adult. I never could understand how and where I picked up a fascination for x-ray images.

But that trip, after my Birthday, happened every year in late August. So indirectly, that Birthday of mine may have led to a wonderful career in Nursing. Wouldn’t have traded a minute of it.

Did I have cake and presents…not that I remember. There is a photo of my first birthday, I’m alone at a table in a red highchair with a round, frosted cake in front of me. There’s a candle, but no people around me. It appears I am wearing a dress! Doesn’t matter…I see I had a cake. And I also love cake!

These days, more folks are in my life. Two amazing kids have given me five grandchildren and my first great grandchild. I haven’t forgotten a Birthday yet.

Life is good.

Diane L. from Lewes, Delaware

21 Plus by Kathleen G.

My theory has always been that birthdays are downhill after 21. Once you can legally drink, what is the next big birthday that comes with any benefits? Senior Citizen status? Of course there is the blessings of being alive for another year, but for women desiring a child, each birthday is a reminder of dwindling fertility. The statistics from reproductive endocrinologist showed that there was no benefit in aging. Society in general doesn’t seem to embrace aging for women. Men age like fine wine while women seem to spoil like milk.

Unlike the other attorneys that I work with, you will never find my diploma on any wall with a date of graduation glaring back for someone to see. I have fought aging from Botox to sunscreen to knowing my health stats like I was a sports star. All of the aforesaid plus never a smoker, barely a drinker, and genetics have allowed me to age objectively well.

I was eventually gifted by God, six years of IVF and two miscarriages later, with a daughter. Did this help me make peace with my years around the sun? Partially, I guess. But old habits are hard to break. The other preschool moms were quick to embrace me, but as they order White Claw, I still prefer Miller Lite. I spend back to school nights doing quick math in determination if I could be my baby’s teacher’s mother. I date a man 13 years my senior – in addition to his many other wonderful qualities – I will be forever younger.

I had yet another birthday this past week? How old did I turn? 21 plus.

Kathleen G. from Timonium, Maryland

Thanks to all the contributors here who shared their birthday memories and stories. Each story is unique and different and I love them all. Thank you again to all my contributors and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

A special birthday shout out to some of my favorite people who share the month of October as their birthday month with me, they include; former colleagues Claire T. and Mark P. who now reside in heaven. Dear friends Marlyn G. Suzanne S. and Terri M. who shares the same October 7th birth date with me!

All birthdays are a blessing and deserve to be celebrated, here is to many, many more happy, healthy birthday celebrations for us all!

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer and instagram @bernadetteamoyer @bernadettesahm

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