What are you waiting for, what are we waiting for, when is the “right” time?
“There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1)
Through the years, my husband and I have had many conversations about our retirement and downsizing to our home in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware. Brian has worked in his line of business for 42 years and I began working at age 13. At first, I was a volunteer candy striper at our local hospital Sacred Heart in Allentown, PA and served as a camp counselor for a Y-based camp and a resident Girl’s Club camp. Then I transitioned in several career jobs before my final position as a Director of Mission Advancement for a nonprofit Catholic Community of Sisters.
We raised three children and lived in our home in Northern Baltimore County, Maryland for over 32 years. A beautiful corner lot with an all-brick rancher, and an inground backyard pool and deck private oasis. It was once a host site for kids and parties and barbecues and more. During Covid-19 is served as the perfect respite and haven for us while we both maintained our full-time jobs.
Then one day in July of 2023 I gave my job the required 2-weeks’ notice that I was leaving. Almost immediately the pain in my knee ceased and my stomach issues went away. I knew it was time when I would return from summer vacation and just not feel as refreshed and ready as I normally would have. I was done. I didn’t want to do the job anymore and it was the “right” time for me to leave it behind me.
Just before my last day on the job, we listed our home for sale and within days it went under contract and soon to settle by the end of the month. It may have seemed like it was happening so fast, but the reality was we had so many discussions about when and what dates would be the best time for us.
When the house contract fell through due to the buyer’s inability to get a mortgage, we initially felt defeated. It was a setback. Going into the fall and winter we decided to take it off the market and to re-group. We spent the next few months freshening up the entire house with new paint and some other minor fixes. We knew that we wanted to sell and to move away. In January we listed again at a higher price and the first day it went under contact again and this time for full-price and no contingencies.
The next few weeks and months we donated many household items and furnishings and by mid-March we settled and were finally able to move into our beach home full time. They say “timing is everything” it was definitely the right time as all the pieces fell together perfectly.
What initially seemed like a setback was just an opportunity to do things better with a better outcome and looking back it all made so much more sense. My husband always believed we would end up at the beach full time. I never gave it much thought about it as I was always under the impression that I would work and keep working. Retirement and being “off” was not something I spent time pondering.
But the funny thing is that we have transitioned into our retirement seamlessly, it was the right thing to do, certainly right for us. We love doing things and we love doing nothing at all. There is power and there in peace in living your life free of anxiety, free of worry and free of many obligations and responsibilities.
My entire life I have never known this kind of contentment, nor have I ever smiled so much! Life is good, we live in gratitude and in grace and peace, what more could we ask for?
Simple considerations and kindness are always appreciated, and they never go out of style. Recently while attending an Orioles baseball game in Baltimore, Maryland we experienced unexpectedly kindness that wasn’t lost on us. We decided to take the train to the game and as soon as we entered it was clear that it was packed with standing room only. Not long after we took off a middle-aged man offered me his seat. He was seated next to his wife. I declined his offer but gave him two thumbs up and told him, “Thank you! What a gentleman!” They both smiled at me.
Soon after as we were sitting in our stadium seats the three ladies in front of us took a selfie and we ended up in their photos. The woman with the camera turned to me and asked if we minded if she put the photo on her social media. How considerate I thought and replied with “no problem, as far as I know we aren’t in the witness protection program” we all laughed. Her consideration wasn’t lost on me.
In a city like Baltimore, sadly often known for violence it’s nice to witness that “Charm City” hasn’t lost its charm. The next morning as we were about to leave town we went for coffee. As I was leaving the coffee shop a young man held the door open for me. He held it for as long as it took for me to completely exit, again I was thankful for his kindness and consideration.
So … what can you do today to make someone’s day that is rooted in consideration and kindness?
It has been a few months since the passing of Country Music Star Toby Keith. I have been waiting to write about his grace in death and a life well lived. I am a fan. My family attended a concert years ago with our twins when they were just teens. Toby came to Baltimore City while on tour more than 15 years ago. We purchased his music and t-shirts, we listened to his music. He opened at an awards show in Nashville that we attended. Toby always seemed bigger than life and most often had a grin and a smile on his face. Toby Keith seemed like a happy guy, and he was living his dream life.
Not long after Covid-19 he reappeared looking like a shell of himself. I barely recognized him and had to do a double-take. Turned out he was suffering with stomach cancer that eventually took his life. He was just 62 years old and was married for 40 years and together they had children. You never heard of any scandals with him and most everyone said he was a great guy. Tim McGraw said he was “a really, really good guy” and just a few days ago at a Gary Allan concert, Gary called him a “legend” and played a tribute to him.
Again, I am a fan, just a fan but for some reason his death really hit me hard. Maybe it’s because we are close in age, maybe because I liked him and thought he had so much to live for but maybe it was also how he shared his last few days here on earth.
People tend not to talk much about death and certainly not about their own death. But … go to YouTube and type Toby Keith and Hospice. This video came across my social media feed and again it made me do a double-take and almost took my breath away. I cried. He was so thin and so vulnerable and so honest and truly humble. Toby knew he was close to the end and in his words made peace with it. He was concerned about his wife and his family. He knew they would miss him.
The grace Toby Keith showed and the faith he shared, and his honesty were heart wrenching. In his illness the last few years it wasn’t just the weight loss that caught my attention but that ever-present smile he happily adorned was since replace what looked like the weight of the world. He was serious and he was somber. We all share in the knowledge that one day it will be our death day too. I can only hope and pray that I handle my own with as much grace, faith, and pure class that he did.
Rest in Peace Toby Keith aka “Big Dog Daddy” you gave us all a lot of joy in your music and lessons in your death. My prayers continue for his wife, kids, and entire family.
Today we celebrate the first day of Spring. Spring is always about new beginnings, hope, light, life and more. For us this day a is a day of moving forward and moving in a new direction. Today we said, “Bye bye to Malbay Drive.” After 32 years today is the day that we turned over possession of a home we loved and raised our family in, we hope the new owners enjoy it as much as we did.
And today my husband had his “exit interview” leaving his job with local government after 8 years. Before that he served for 35 years with City government. If anyone deserves “retirement” it is him. He has worked hard his whole adult life.
Last summer I left my job and for a while I entertained other employment opportunities that presented themselves to me. Yesterday a dear friend sent me a link to another professional position that she thought was good for me. It paid $80,000 to $100,000 dollars a year. In the past I might have jumped at it. I was clearly qualified to do it, but times have changed, and I want something different, a new beginning.
My husband and I share the same work ethic, do your job and do it to the best of your ability. We are “grinders” who went to work every day and focused on raising our family and paying our own way. In the end both of our jobs wanted to “celebrate us” with a party or luncheon, breakfast etc., We both declined. Our feelings are simple “celebrate” us while you have us and while we are still working with you and for you, not after we made the decision to go in a new direction. We are thankful for all the opportunities that have been given to us.
We have friends who have moved, who are newly widowed and others going through a divorce, whether change was forced upon them, a new beginning is ahead. We do well when we embrace change and when we “spring forward” into what comes next for us.
Our immediate plans for our “new beginnings” will be about maintaining good health with proper diet and exercise, we have travel plans for each month through the end of this year. Our goals are “happiness” seeking joy and happiness in all that life brings.
As I write this, I am overwhelmed with gratitude and my heart if filled with love. I am so thankful to God for bringing my husband to me. After 32 years together our love has grown deeper and richer. Now we get to focus on each other and the fun stuff and God willing lots of it.
Well played, dear Brian, I am so proud of you and all that you have accomplished!
To all my readers I hope that your Spring season and Easter or whatever holiday season that you celebrate, comes with much sunshine and the glow and excitement of embracing new beginnings …
(Please note this is a light read. Recently WordPress sent me my site stats and one of my blogs has over 28,000 reads and hundreds of comments too. Sadly, it is a much heavier subject and has garnered much attention. All appreciated!)
Have you ever loved something so much that you went and purchased it in every color?
Last winter I found pink and red and white and black corduroy pants from Talbots that fit me like a dream. I was losing weight and down to a size 10. This year I returned and there they were again in style and at the very front of the store. This time I purchased wine and turquoise corduroy pants in a size 8 and again they fit like they were tailor made for me.
A few days ago, I met with a professional photographer and as soon as we introduced ourselves, she said, “I love your pink corduroy pants” without skipping a beat, I shared with her, and I have them in all these colors and I love them. Then I remembered last year at the dentist office the girls in the office were commenting that they loved my red corduroy pants. Of course, it made me smile because I feel so good in them and love them too.
I stopped wearing blue jeans and wear my cords all winter long. They are so comfortable and fun to wear, they make me happy.
My husband is a long time Levi’s jeans wearer and this Christmas Levi’s had men’s corduroy pants. He tried them on, and they fit like they were made for him. Guess who is now creating his own collection of corduroy pants? He now has them in brown, black and gray and they look amazing on him.
I remember corduroy when I was a kid. I had them in a burnt orange color bell-bottoms when I was about twelve and traveled from our farm in Pennsylvania to family friends in Baltimore, Maryland. They were special and made me feel good. I also had them in overalls in a brighter orange color when I was in high school. Loved them then as well!
Apparently, my love of corduroy started when I was young and lingers on even stronger today. They make me happy! What makes you happy? What do you bring into your world both big and small that makes you smile and feel good?
So here is to all of us enjoying an abundance of all the things we love, and enjoying them in as many colors as we love …
Chunky sweaters, down coats, mittens, scarves, furry hats and nice warm boots! Its layering season and “cozy” season and I am all in … who doesn’t like the warmth of a crackling fire or the aroma of fresh hot coffee or hot steamy cups of cocoa.
How do you do cozy? I love having the oven on making breads or cakes, pies and cookies. Or a big pot of homemade soup and chili. The smell of the fallen leaves and the crisp fresh air all bring me to that feeling of cozy.
Cool cotton sheets and light blankets have given way to cozy flannel sheets and big and bulky down comforters. There are extra blankets and more throw blankets around the house. The woodstove is burning wood and cords of fresh cut wood is stacked and ready to go.
The food pantry and the freezer seem fuller with a variety of items. As I age, I have learned to embrace the chillier weather and not to fight it or complain about it but rather to just go with it. Wear the right clothing so that cozy is what I feel rather than cold and freezing. I love the crisp fall air that is soon to give way to winter weather. It’s natures life cycle and I fully embrace it.
So pull out your flannel shirts, dust off your boots and bring back those coats and hats and gloves. Its cozy season and the best way to enjoy it is to be prepared and to take in as much “cozy” as you can …
“The perfect antidote to dark, cold and creepy is light, warm and cozy.” Candice Olson
Bernadette A. Sahm 