What Do I Want

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What Do I Want
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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What do I want? What do I want out of life? What do I want out of today and tomorrow and next week and next year?

Seems like many times in life we should rethink and ask that question as it is sure to change as we continue to grow and change.

I truly believe the happiest people are the ones that are living their lives in a way that answers that question. What do I want? What makes me happy? How do I want to live my life and take care of myself? What do I need to be happy?

When we are young we are consumed with “what do I want” and answering and doing what we want then comes life and responsibilities, that career job, owning a home or a car and having children or pets all depend on us to produce and to provide. Sometimes it is easy to get lost in what does everyone need rather than in what do I want.

Having children and raising them is one of the most selfless acts and responsibility that we will ever take on, being responsible for another human being is the highest calling and requires giving and giving and giving on a minute to minute hour to hour and daily basis. It is never ending, but it also requires us to put our own personal wants and needs on a back burner. Kids have immediate needs all they know is now and later, adults can and do wait.

Then it happens the kids are raised, and full fledged adults out on their own and once again it is the perfect time for us, just us.

What do I want? It sounds so easy, right? But is it? How do you go about answering that question?

“Be careful what you wish for, you may receive it.”  W.W. Jacobs

For me its starts with a gut check, how am I feeling? Then it goes to making lists, what else do I want to do and accomplish in this lifetime? Then jumping off and staring, diving in, trying, learning, giving it a whirl.

No other person can answer that question for us and sometimes it takes thought, aloneness and quiet for us to come up with it ourselves. All I know for sure is that the only road to true and lasting happiness is finding a way to afford what you want in both time and treasure and then setting out and making it happen!

Here is to your happiness and here is to getting and appreciating all that you ever needed and wanted …

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

All books by Bernadette A. Moyer on Amazon and Barnes & Noble

Not My Canoe Not My People

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Not My Canoe Not My People
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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Sometimes in life we find ourselves in someone else’s canoe or with people that are “not our people.” We know when we are with “our people” it is when the relationship is easy and natural and we feel connected. We also know when we are in someone else’s canoe and that we don’t belong there.

There are people in this world looking for us and they want us to be a part of their lives; they are inherently our people. Forced relationships whether through tolerance or life circumstance seldom if ever offer us a real and lasting connection.

Are we helping or are we getting in the way and enabling? When we jump into someone else’s canoe, even if we think it is to help them, are we helping them or are we enabling them? And quite possibly we might just be hurting them by not allowing them to learn and to grow and to steer their own course.

Confidence comes from life experiences and from making choices that propel us forward. When we make the choices that are best for us, we alone know that. There is so much value that comes from owning our stuff, learning from it, growing and building upon what works for us.

Giving our power away, allowing others, any others, the control over our lives does nothing to help us grow up, or mature and learn. If anything it may contribute to our lack of confidence and our ability to forge our own path.

Parents often straddle a fine line of helping their children versus enabling when they do not allow their children to experience the consequences of their own actions. As a mother I have often been guilty of this, taking responsibility for my children’s action when they alone should have understand the consequences and felt the outcome of their choices.

You can’t protect someone from themselves, and it is okay when things don’t go the way we want or when people don’t get us, or want to be with us and support us, it may just be that they aren’t “our people.” In the natural course of life in the natural order we find “our people” and they find us!

This starts with trusting the universe … trusting in a God source … trusting that we already have inside of us, everything that we need to maneuver our own canoe and chart our own unique life course …

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

Books by Bernadette available at Amazon and Barnes and Noble

One Different Decision

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One Different Decision
By Bernadette A. Moyer

Decision-Making

When I think about all the decisions we make in a day in a year and in a lifetime my head just wants to spin right off my shoulders! So many decisions and so many choices and some will be good ones and others maybe not so much.

There are studies out there that say an average person has remotely conscious decisions in a day that equals about 35,000 whereas a young person makes about 3,000, clearly we are making many decisions each and every single day.

My husband likes to sleep in late and I am an early riser, I could get so much accomplished by 10:00 and by 3:00 in the afternoon I have generally accomplished what it takes most people a few days to do.

Last week we were supposed to spend a day together at our favorite beach location and do some Christmas shopping when I was up and running and hubs was snug in bed with our two furry friends. I said, “That’s okay why don’t you just get your rest I will just go alone” and he agreed. Later he confessed he really wanted to go, the problem was I didn’t feel like waiting, rousing him and then putting up with his well … early morning personality!

It was a lovely and peace-filled day where I was able to move about at my leisure. I went to the beach and I shopped and I had lunch and I was all alone but it felt great. I arrived home refreshed and ready to go again. It turned out to be a good decision.

During this trip and my alone time I also thought about life and how one different decision could have easily put us in a different place. We make decisions about education and about career choices and our decisions about marriage and divorce and to have children or not and where to live are all huge decisions.

A different town and different friends affords us a different life, the decision to have one child or many children all create another lifestyle and reality for us. Some decisions are huge and others are as simple as what to eat for dinner or to have that second cup of coffee.

Each one of us is faced with numerous decisions in a day, a week, a month and a lifetime. Some decisions will bring us joy and others may bring us grief but having free will allows us to have the capacity to choose how we live our lives by the decisions that we make.

“When someone makes a decision, he is really diving into a strong current that will carry him to places he had never dreamed of when he first made the decision.” Paul Coelho, The Alchemist

Regardless of what decisions we have made in our past and if we want to live our lives in a better way and in a healthier way and in a peace-filled way we are just one different decision away from achieving those goals … so here is to better and happier decision making and making our most loving best decisions ever …

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

All books by Bernadette A. Moyer are available at Amazon and Barnes and Noble