You can’t open any news source without learning that celebrity couple Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman have split after 19 years of marriage. Like most people I am a bit shocked and saddened as it appeared they were a happy and loving couple.
This celebrity news has caused more than a few “couple conversations” with my husband. We have been together for 34 years now and married for 28 years. It is not always easy, but we are committed and stay in love. I hate the term “work at it” as I would rather say we try to keep it fun and happy. We enjoyed each other’s company and like many of the same things. We grew up during the same time period.
They say Keith moved out from the family months ago and are just now making it public knowledge. My husband’s immediate response was “somebody didn’t want it” in regard to their marriage. It made me think that yeah, the only “secret” to a happy marriage is that both people have to want it.
When a man moves out of the family home and purchases his own private residence you can almost guarantee it is because he has found a new partner. I am willing to bet that Nicole has been replaced with a younger version. We have witnessed this show before …
I am a firm believer that when it is over, it is over, both people have to want it for a marriage to succeed. I can’t imagine what is more difficult to leave or to stay in a relationship that you don’t want to be in and are unhappy.
What I think is that he is gone and in my life experience Nicole will find someone or someone better!
For some time now I have been contemplating the phrase “less is more” and “down-sizing” and neither felt right. They seem negative to me like its “less” and less than what I am thinking about and trying to convey. We aren’t living with “less” we are living with enough! Doesn’t that sound better “enough is more” enough is enough!
Not that long ago we owned two homes and three vehicles for just two people. It was enough and it was more than what most people accumulate. Then one day as we approached retirement, we questioned what do we need? What do we want? We decided to “edit” and make decisions on what was best suited in our new lifestyle. It seemed like the common phrases of “down-sizing” and “less is more” were the common definitions for most people. Yet it didn’t sit well with me because I felt so happy and so content. It is living with enough … we really don’t need so much to live well and to be happy. Honestly it feels more liberating, deliberate and natural. It easy and less stressful.
How do you define “enough” … think about the amount of energy and responsibility it takes to manage more than enough and how much more enjoyable we can be when we come to view our lifestyle choices as “enough”
Peace and blessings on this rainy Sunday afternoon!
The slower life gets, the more it feels like living. I heard the birds chirping this morning. I smell the fresh ground coffee beans dripping fresh brewed coffee. The curtains are gently swaying with cool crisp breezes trickling through the open windows. The sky so lovely bright blue with soft white cottony clouds.
The slower life gets, the more it feels like living. Quiet is the fun new excitement. Stillness is the new action word. Peace is the mantra for these days. Loving is the overall theme and daily goal.
I’ve slowed down and I have never felt more alive. The slower life gets, the more it feels like living!
My husband tells me that I am “aging backwards” I’ll take it! And he would know as we have been together for 34 years now, together since we were just 32 years old. Although this is not the first time I’ve heard this, it is the first time I actually believe it.
I believe that I had aged pre-maturely in my early twenties as I was widowed at age 23 and left alone with a two-year-old toddler to raise. It felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders as I tried to navigate single motherhood and earning enough to support us. This was definitely not what I had signed up for at such a young age.
“I was so much older then, I am younger than that now” by Bob Dylan
Then came years of a different level of stresses in a new marriage and taking on the mother role for newborn infant twins, as I tried to work my way up my chosen career paths.
Yet today as a retired senior I feel and look better than ever before! There are no “secrets” to living a good healthy lifestyle as so much of it is just common sense.
If I had to make a list of what I believe has contributed to my happiness and wellness, this list would be much of it.
1) Live in love and let go of all that no longer serves you well
2) Eat the good food/eat fresh
3) Exercise and get those 10,000 steps a day
4) Take your vitamins, I am big on taking magnesium and a low dose of aspirin daily, it works for me!
5) Get outside in the fresh air
6) Keep gratitude top of mind as there is always something to be grateful for
7) Live under your financial means so that you are not financially struggling
8) Laugh often it feels so good and is so good for you
9) Get a dog or two!
10) And for me probably the most important of all is marry well, choose wisely and make sure you live in peace and love with your forever friend/partner/lover/spouse
Bonus buy the cute outfit, get your hair and nails done and take the trip … Life is for the living, live it!
This is my list … make one that works for you too. I feel great and I believe you can too!
Life seemed so simple when I grew up, there was a code of conduct and rules that we lived by, they were just common sense. Here are the ones I remember that had a lasting impact on me.
Remember your P’s and Q’s (please and thank you)
We are NOT heating/cooling the outside world (reference to leaving doors open)
Stop crying or I will give you something to cry about
Idle time is a devil’s workshop
Clean your plate! There are starving people in the world.
What did YOU do? In reference to any time, you complained about other kids or what others did
Just because everyone else does, does that mean you have to do the same? If they jumped off a bridge, would you?
Because I said so!
If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.
Doesn’t leave much to the imagination! (In reference to skimpy revealing clothes)
Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you
I grew up in a time and in a home where these were the lessons and the house rules. Most of these were from my parents and grandparents. They definitely formed me into the adult I am today.
Bernadette A. Sahm 