For some time now I have been contemplating the phrase “less is more” and “down-sizing” and neither felt right. They seem negative to me like its “less” and less than what I am thinking about and trying to convey. We aren’t living with “less” we are living with enough! Doesn’t that sound better “enough is more” enough is enough!
Not that long ago we owned two homes and three vehicles for just two people. It was enough and it was more than what most people accumulate. Then one day as we approached retirement, we questioned what do we need? What do we want? We decided to “edit” and make decisions on what was best suited in our new lifestyle. It seemed like the common phrases of “down-sizing” and “less is more” were the common definitions for most people. Yet it didn’t sit well with me because I felt so happy and so content. It is living with enough … we really don’t need so much to live well and to be happy. Honestly it feels more liberating, deliberate and natural. It easy and less stressful.
How do you define “enough” … think about the amount of energy and responsibility it takes to manage more than enough and how much more enjoyable we can be when we come to view our lifestyle choices as “enough”
Peace and blessings on this rainy Sunday afternoon!
My husband tells me that I am “aging backwards” I’ll take it! And he would know as we have been together for 34 years now, together since we were just 32 years old. Although this is not the first time I’ve heard this, it is the first time I actually believe it.
I believe that I had aged pre-maturely in my early twenties as I was widowed at age 23 and left alone with a two-year-old toddler to raise. It felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders as I tried to navigate single motherhood and earning enough to support us. This was definitely not what I had signed up for at such a young age.
“I was so much older then, I am younger than that now” by Bob Dylan
Then came years of a different level of stresses in a new marriage and taking on the mother role for newborn infant twins, as I tried to work my way up my chosen career paths.
Yet today as a retired senior I feel and look better than ever before! There are no “secrets” to living a good healthy lifestyle as so much of it is just common sense.
If I had to make a list of what I believe has contributed to my happiness and wellness, this list would be much of it.
1) Live in love and let go of all that no longer serves you well
2) Eat the good food/eat fresh
3) Exercise and get those 10,000 steps a day
4) Take your vitamins, I am big on taking magnesium and a low dose of aspirin daily, it works for me!
5) Get outside in the fresh air
6) Keep gratitude top of mind as there is always something to be grateful for
7) Live under your financial means so that you are not financially struggling
8) Laugh often it feels so good and is so good for you
9) Get a dog or two!
10) And for me probably the most important of all is marry well, choose wisely and make sure you live in peace and love with your forever friend/partner/lover/spouse
Bonus buy the cute outfit, get your hair and nails done and take the trip … Life is for the living, live it!
This is my list … make one that works for you too. I feel great and I believe you can too!
Life seemed so simple when I grew up, there was a code of conduct and rules that we lived by, they were just common sense. Here are the ones I remember that had a lasting impact on me.
Remember your P’s and Q’s (please and thank you)
We are NOT heating/cooling the outside world (reference to leaving doors open)
Stop crying or I will give you something to cry about
Idle time is a devil’s workshop
Clean your plate! There are starving people in the world.
What did YOU do? In reference to any time, you complained about other kids or what others did
Just because everyone else does, does that mean you have to do the same? If they jumped off a bridge, would you?
Because I said so!
If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.
Doesn’t leave much to the imagination! (In reference to skimpy revealing clothes)
Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you
I grew up in a time and in a home where these were the lessons and the house rules. Most of these were from my parents and grandparents. They definitely formed me into the adult I am today.
No one wants to be that person, the one who gets left behind. Sooner or later we all have that experience and it never feels good. Whether we are left by choice, by divorce or by death, being left behind is hard and it is a scary feeling.
We build our lives with others, we have friends, we have families and we have our pets. When they leave and we are left behind we feel that void. That special place they once held now is an open space.
Our bichon Chipper is grieving his sister Happy who passed over just a few weeks ago. We have never heard such deep intense cries from him in all our seven years with him.
Every time when of our children grew up and left home, we almost immediately replaced them with a furry baby. Each dog has held our heart much like our young children once did, today we grieve Happy. It drives home again, that feeling of being left.
Yet with Happy is was a soft pain and loss because we have so many happy memories with her. She was just so easy to care for and to love. It was natural.
“Those we love never truly leave us, Harry. There are things that death cannot touch.” – Jack Thorne, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child
From day one my husband Brian and I acknowledged that one of us would be “widowed” again, one of us would know that feeling again … that feeling of being left behind. We do everything in our power to honor all the time that we share together by living our best life and living it as centered and honest as possible.
So many people live within us… we remember … we grieve… we rejoice …we are better for having known them and loved them …
Each of us finds that day when we move past the loss … past the grief … and truly celebrate what once was and what was once shared. We learn once again that life is for the living and that we must live it!
“If you focus on what you left behind, you will never see what lies ahead.” – Gusteau, Ratatouille
What is in your heart? Is your heart filled with love and gratitude? Or is your heart filled with anger and resentments? Is your heart full or is it empty?
Like most things in life, our hearts are our responsibilities and what we allow in them says everything about us and who we are …
Lately I find myself making definitive choices about what I will put on my heart. I find myself turning away from hatred and conflict until I am able to come to a peaceful and loving conclusion. I no longer allow the hatred and anger of others to enter my heart. It is their stuff, not mine.
Making the choice on those that I allow into my heart has allowed me to be a better and brighter and happier more loving person.
And if and when a confrontation is necessary, I lead with and I speak from my heart. There is a lot of hatred and garbage out in this world; we choose what we allow to enter into our hearts. Where I will always feel compassion and love for others, I have learned to draw the line when it comes to who and what I allow to enter my heart and my soul.
I can’t change anyone else but when I present my best heart, change naturally occurs for the better. Fill your heart with love. Fill it with people, places and things that you love. Plant the seeds of love within yourself and watch them grow in you and in those that you attract and associate.
What is in your heart? Might just be the single best question you can ask yourself every single day …
Bernadette A. Sahm 