The Good Stuff …Another 100 Things to Be Happy About!

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The Good Stuff … Another 100 Things to Be Happy About!
By Bernadette A. Moyer

My first 100 came so easy I thought I’d write another, we all have so much to be happy about! What is on your list?

1) Picking up your dogs after their grooming appointment
2) A big bowl of cut up fresh fruits
3) My husband washing and waxing my car because he wants to do it for me
4) An invitation to lunch
5) A perfect sunset
6) Family photos
7) Intelligent people
8) Successful people
9) When the first piece of pie comes out looking great
10) Your first snowball for the summer
11) Your favorite wine is on sale
12) Summer holidays of red, white and blue
13) Christmas shopping in July
14) Long road trips to fun locations
15) Taking the train to New York City
16) Neighborhood newspapers where you find really great community stories
17) The Amish market
18) In season ripe red tomatoes
19) New sneakers
20) Flat screen TV’s
21) Happy Hour at your neighborhood bar
22) The sermon that seems like it was written just for you
23) Connecting with new people
24) Books with hard covers and dust jackets
25) Love letters and cards that you have collected through the years from your spouse and re-reading them
26) A last minute invite and you are free to go
27) Fat juicy steamed crabs and pitchers of ice cold beer
28) Summer nights around the fire pit
29) Letting go and trusting in the universe and seeing just how healthy it is for you
30) Dorney Park
31) Grassy hilled properties with horses on them
32) Warm summer rains when you can walk around in it and be free just like when you were a kid
33) Catching a fish that is a keeper and having it for dinner
34) Picking your own blueberries
35) Growing fresh mint for your iced tea
36) Painting a room and it looks great
37) The smells of breakfast like bacon cooking and coffee brewing
38) My husband’s hugs
39) The old people in the neighborhood that stop by for a chat
40) Being asked to volunteer your time and talents
41) Red sandals
42) French manicures
43) Pretty new pedicures
44) Soft serve ice cream in a cone
45) Unexpected recognition for something that you do because you enjoy it
46) Funny people that make you laugh out loud
47) A direct flight that arrives on time
48) Postcards that arrive unexpectedly from other countries
49) Having your diamond ring steam cleaned
50) A gift and it isn’t even a holiday
51) Someone who makes food for you
52) Friends who can order for you because they remember how you like your steak cooked and how you like your drink prepared
53) Gay guy friends that are like the best girlfriends, fun!
54) Teachers that remember you from way back when
55) Old neighbors that you have kept up with
56) Model homes that are perfectly decorated
57) Pinterest pinning
58) The day you finish your novel and turn it over to your publisher
59) McCormick spices being made and waffling through the air like cinnamon
60) A massage
61) Handmade soaps
62) Long walks on the beach at twilight
63) The big screen movies
64) Hot soft pretzels
65) More gas than you remembered in the gas tank
66) Coin jars after a years of adding your extra change
67) Professional landscaping
68) A new desk chair that is comfy and stylish
69) Clean sidewalks and streets
70) Green full trees
71) Nighttime baseball games under the lights
72) Outdoor live concerts
73) Picnics in the park
74) Hot juicy fried chicken
75) Lunch at a popular restaurant and you know the owner who comes to see you
76) Visiting your former place of employment and people from all departments come to greet you
77) Free bumper stickers that you would have paid for
78) Early mornings when everyone is still in bed but you are accomplishing much
79) Inspirational speakers that leave you elevated
80) Good happy stories that make the news
81) A friends success
82) When good things happen for good people
83) Hydrangeas that are vibrant and bountiful like colored snowballs
84) Early morning walks on the beach when very few people are around
85) Air conditioned shopping on really hot days
86) Crisp clean new sheets
87) Perfectly white fluffy towels
88) Your own signature sangria that people rave about
89) A big pot of homemade soup
90) Stocking up your supply closet and stepping back to appreciate the abundance
91) Brand new appliances
92) Drawing out renovation plans and making something old like new again
93) Feedback that states your home shows “excellent” and is “adorable”
94) That moment when my husband comes home from work, and have missed each other
95) Watching how much the dogs love our son and how great he is with them
96) New makeup and using it for the first time
97) E-mails from friends with great news to share
98) Feeling at peace and really happy with yourself
99) Going to a wedding
100) A day at the beach … a week at the beach!
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The Good Stuff … 100 Things to Be Happy About!

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The Good Stuff … 100 Things to Be Happy About!
By Bernadette A. Moyer

Everyone has “good stuff” in their life; here are the first 100 that came to me, my own list of “good stuff” what is on your list of good stuff?

My list of good stuff;

1) Getting to the bakery just when the Italian bread is coming out of the oven
2) Putting on last year’s white Capri pants and finding a $5 bill
3) Driving around the parking lot over and over and then happening on the very first parking spot
4) Arriving at the drycleaner in time to get same day service and there is no waiting in line
5) Waiting in the grocery line and you are three deep when the checker comes to get you and starts a new lane
6) Finding a dozen roses laying across your bed
7) Having a friend buy you a present that you always wanted but never would have afforded yourself
8) When your kids have grown up and they want to treat you to lunch and a movie
9) Running into an old friend you haven’t seen in years and they are just as happy to see you as you are to see them
10) Having a complete stranger open a door for you with a smile
11) When you least expect it and your husband wants to be with you doing normal everyday things like shopping and running errands
12) A friend from high school finds you on Facebook and you re-connect after more than 30 years
13) The checker at the grocery store says, “Whose mom are you? Because you are hot!”
14) Your favorite magazine arrives on the day you are looking for something new and fresh to read
15) Working toward a goal of 10,000 and immediately passing it by 700 more
16) Thinking about someone and they call you
17) Getting an interview and acing it
18) Old friends
19) New friends
20) Planning your vacation and the weather is absolutely perfect for all that you have planned
21) Making a chocolate cake and having everyone rave about how good it is
22) The greeting from your dog when you have been away all day long
23) When the people in your life tell you how much you mean to them
24) Getting a grant that will fund your novel
25) Having your teenager make your bed
26) Guessing at the frame size necessary for framing a piece of art and getting it right
27) Ordering a drink and it is better than you expected
28) Buying a new car
29) Buying a new car for less than the blue book value
30) Selling your home for three times what you purchased it for
31) Getting promoted when you never even asked for it
32) Being the top salesperson without really trying
33) Writing without interruptions
34) Having lunch with family you haven’t seen in years and it goes really well
35) A person who knows you well and defends you when you never even asked them to do it
36) Mentoring a young person and watching them become really successful
37) Buying a gift and the receiver absolutely loves it
38) Cooking filet mignon on the grill and it is cooked perfectly
39) Going back to school and getting all A’s in your classes
40) Buying a bathing suit that makes you look like you have lost 10 lbs.
41) The feeling of wearing the most comfortable yet stylish shoes
42) That online dress purchase that turns out to be a perfect fit and looks great on you
43) Pulling the lasagna out of the oven just when unexpected company arrives
44) A letter of recommendation that far exceeds your expectations
45) Having your manuscript purchased by a New York publishing house
46) That scratch off ticket that just put $100 in your pocket
47) Expecting to have lost 2 or 3 pounds and you lost 5 pounds
48) Little kids that just follow you around
49) A cute guy who gives you a big smile
50) Old people that give you the thumbs up from across the restaurant
51) Anyone who tells you that you are beautiful
52) Arriving at the party at the perfect time when just the right amount of people are there and yet you haven’t missed anything
53) When the pool is crystal clear and just warm/cool enough that you want to jump in
54) Seeing your pumpkins and tomatoes grow from flowers to full fruits and vegetables
55) The farmers market on Sunday morning
56) The right seat at church is available for you when you are at a resort location
57) Getting the concert tickets and they are front row seats
58) Meeting a magazine editor on the train to New York and developing a lasting friendship
59) Buying a new outfit that looks like it was made to fit you
60) A spa day
61) A new haircut that flatters you
62) Belgium waffles with fresh strawberries and whipped cream
63) Riding your bike and having a breeze run through your hair
64) Female friends that lift you up
65) Getting to the cash register with a sale item that you believe it a great deal and finding out it is discounted another 40%
66) An iPad 3
67) Writing a piece and dozens of people give you the thumbs up
68) Having your blogs re-tweeted to over 5,000 people
69) Receiving a good driver discount
70) Making pies and eating pies
71) A dreaded doctor visit that goes really well
72) Your husband’s love and respect
73) Your kid’s love and respect
74) Your friends and family’s love and respect
75) A new toy
76) Riding the Ferris wheel at the fair with a bag of pink cotton candy in hand and you are over 50 years old ; p
77) Long slow kisses …
78) The smell of dinner in the crockpot
79) The sounds of the ocean slapping up against the sand
80) Seeing last year’s lilies come up even prettier this year
81) Remembering a special day and reflecting upon it
82) New colored pencils and magic markers
83) A handwritten card or note that arrives in the mail
84) Getting upgraded to first class without the extra fees
85) A cold beer on a really hot day
86) Great seats for the game and your team wins
87) The smell of fresh laundry
88) Finding an old piece of jewelry and wearing it like it is brand new again
89) Shopping and NOT buying anything because you already have all that you really want
90) Your favorite artist song comes on the radio
91) Photographs that turn out better than you thought they would
92) A cup of coffee made just how you like it
93) The smell of freshly cut grass
94) Your favorite champagne as a gift to you
95) Raspberries, blueberries and peaches in season and in abundance
96) Cut watermelon
97) Time to read that book you set aside
98) A bubble bath
99) Cutting your own flower bouquet from your own garden
100) Living and loving and being happy with where you are and with whom you have become!

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

New Book! Along The Way available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble
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A Restored Trust

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A Restored Trust
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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Earlier today I wrote an essay about Broken Trust and how important trust is to every relationship. After writing it I was reminded of a “broken trust” that was restored. It was with our son.

A few years ago over July 4th holiday when my husband and I went to the beach our son was scheduled to work so he remained home. At that time he was 19 years old. We never had any real trust issues with him, he is an Eagle Scout and we often tease him. We tease him about his honesty; let’s just say you wouldn’t want to rob a bank with him. Because in a second he would give both himself and you right up!

That holiday he invited a few guys over to swim in our pool he is a lifeguard and we have no issue with this. The problem was that a few friends turned into about 60 people and it was obvious by all the empty beer cans and empty booze bottles in and around our home that underage drinking had taken place. Not to mention the cigarette butts and huge fat cigar remnants.

He thought he had cleaned the place up but he missed many things and the youngest coolest neighbor came by to tell us just how loud the music was and how many people were here. He was busted!

Father and son had words, I was disappointed and at that time our son wasn’t sorry but rather defiant and we all agreed it best if he went to stay with a friend until things cooled off a bit. My husband’s very expensive watch was missing and probably stolen. The kids that came, many were not his friends. There were so many people in and around the house that by our son’s own admission “It was out of control.”

I did something similar when I was a kid and I wanted to use this as a teaching opportunity, my husband never did such a thing and saw it as a huge disrespect and that trust was broken. Within a month our son returned home. He was really sorry and made amends. Even though he couldn’t afford to replace the expensive watch that was gone, he did buy his father another watch.

He vowed it would never happen again and we impressed upon him all the issues with allowing underage drinking to take place on our property and in our home. How bad this could have been.

It is really easy to forgive someone when they are sorry and when they try and make it right. The take away for me is and remains, that the love and respect we have for our son and that he has for us far outweighed this lapse in judgment. He was a kid and doing what many kids do, today he has learned something and we are all closer than ever before.

Even though we felt hurt and disappointed and somewhat disrespected, he didn’t have a pool party to try and hurt us. Things happen in all relationships but it is what we do with what happens that determines whether we move ahead together or not.

Forgiveness is always possible but first we have to accept our role and if we are in the wrong, be sorry and try and make it right.

Today more than four years later, our son now 23 appreciates everything. Just about every card he gives us for birthdays and other holidays he talks about maturing into being an adult and how much he loves us and sees things so differently from when he was a child.

Trust in relationships can be tested and what we do during that “test” often determines in what direction the future of the relationship will take. Thank goodness we all grew and learned and that the love in our family was far greater than a temporary lapse of good judgement and a broken trust.

A broken trust doesn’t have to be the end of a relationship; it can be the beginning of a greater understanding and appreciation.

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer
New book! Along The Way available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble

 

Another Way

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Another Way
By Bernadette A Moyer

You either find a way or you make your way. There is always another way, a better way, as life goes on we learn more and more about the value in our choices.

Every experience that we go through affords us the opportunity to learn and to grow; it also affords us an opportunity to respond with love.

There is always the “high road” the place where we respond with the most kindness regardless of how challenging our experience becomes.

When we stop, reflect and pause before a quick knee jerk response we allow ourselves that moment to think before we act. Most hurtful and negative responses are fear based. When we are secure in ourselves and when we know ourselves we need not fear.

“A bend in the road is not the end of the road …unless you fail to make the turn.” Helen Keller

Many times in life we will start out on one course only to re-evaluate and decide upon Another Way. Sometimes someone else makes that decision for us. Maybe a failed relationship or a failed job stops us in our tracks. Yet this is the time when we are afforded an opportunity to go Another Way.

For me, Another Way has always been a better way. When something or someone didn’t work the way that I had imagined it, I always found myself in a better place. New opportunities took their place and showed themselves.

This book Another Way will be available on November 1, 2015 and it contains several articles, blogs and essays and on many subjects but they are connected by coming about because I had the chance to go about life in Another Way.

As I finish this piece, I am preparing to leave for a week away to Las Vegas and one of my little dogs Chipper just arrived in my office. The hardest part about going away is leaving them behind. I know that if we still had minor children at home we would not travel near as much as what we do now.

Our life is different and we are living it Another Way. And it s full of life, of happiness, of pure joy and loaded with many adventures!

If what you are doing isn’t making you happy, you can always choose Another Way …

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer
Books available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble

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Did We Throw Out the Baby With the Bath Water

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Did We Throw Out the Baby With the Bath Water
By Bernadette A. Moyer

My generation grew up with a healthy respect for adults, our family, our community and our church. We knew to respect our elders since they were older, lived longer and therefore knew more. When we grew up we were considered “chattel” that our parents basically owned, today kids are born with their own inherent rights.

Most of us were spanked and yelled at when we grew up and we never thought of it as child abuse. We thought of it as discipline and that our parents were trying to get our attention and help to form us into responsible adults.

Today, it seems, most kids feel like they were abused and neglected, they were physically abused, mentally abused and verbally abused. Was this the response to a generation that was abused by parents and some clergy, teachers and other adults?

Our schools are teaching our kids about abuse. Yet our military is still using the same methods as many parents that I knew used while growing up. We were yelled at and we never thought it was “verbal abuse.”

Have we raised a generation of kids that have no boundaries, were never spanked nor yelled at and if so how are they doing in this world? It seems like today so many young people are without coping skills and have a victim mentality. We have empowered our kids to where you can look at them a certain way and they are “abused” by the look you have on your face toward them.

What I see is a population of so many young people that doesn’t know what tough times are and seem more discontent that ever before. Young people who seem angrier and violent and disrespectful. We have taken God out of schools, we have taken the power away from the parents and then we sit back and act confused when so many young people are without boundaries.

Maybe I was old fashioned but my kids ate at the kitchen table and most nights we ate together as a family. Many of my peer parents allowed their kids to run the entire house with cookies and the like and then sat back and wondered why they had a mess complete with ants and rodents throughout the house.

We had expectations for our children as to what was and is acceptable behaviors. We tried to teach them that not everything in life is going to go your way and that not everything in life will come easy for you. And therefore learn to deal with things that may not be exactly as you like. Use it as a motivating force.

After the college shooting that took place just yesterday in Oregon my husband and I once again reflect upon how much respect we grew up with, in respecting our parents, our home, our community. It would never have occurred to us that taking a weapon to school or any public place and shooting at innocent people was a means of expressing our displeasure with life and with the world.

Even back then we knew that if we were unhappy it was our responsibility to find a way to enrich our life and to make it better. It wasn’t our parent’s responsibility or our community or our government that “owed” us.

Like everyone after the shootings took place I at first wanted to see what this shooter looks like and now I am like stop giving him any attention. These stories are newsworthy but let us give equal time and attention to the well balanced young people that are out there doing well in this world.

My husband and I both grew up with parents that weren’t afraid to express their displeasure to us, when and if we acted inappropriately. I don’t believe we would have so much violence in our culture if young people learned to channel their rage and frustrations toward productive goals and healthy ways of expression rather than by anger, hatred and a desire to destroy.

And I also question that if someone/anyone is diagnosed with any form of mental illness or a disability should they be allowed to own so many guns and weapons?

Peace to all the people in Oregon and May something good come from all this hurt and heartache. We pray.

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer
New book! Along The Way is available on Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble.

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A Harvest Season Prayer

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A Harvest Season Prayer
By Bernadette A Moyer

May you have an abundance of light, love and laughter and may you be surrounded by loved ones, and may your heart be filled with joy.

We thank you Lord Jesus for all that we have, and we appreciate our family, our friends, the food that we share, the warmth of our home, and the peace and unconditional love that you bestow upon us.

May we love all people as you our Father loves us. We pray for all those in need that their prayers may be answered.

We pray for peace in our families, in our community, in our country and in our world. We pray that love wins and grace and gratitude reign.

We pray for light to cast over the darkest of places.

May we all share in your love and abundance for this harvest season and all the days of our lives

We pray. Amen.

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer
New book! Along The Way available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble, be sure and check it out
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Grief Can Be a Gift …

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Grief Can Be a Gift …
By Bernadette A Moyer

It was around the holidays when this piece was first published; today I am updating it because many gifts have come from my grief throughout the years. When this was first published I immediately heard from a father thanking me for writing it, his son had just passed away prematurely. He was grief stricken. His pain was so raw and he was so humbled by it. I couldn’t believe that he thanked me for writing it, he said it helped him. It was Christmas and my little essay helped him?

My first experience of grief was when my first husband died, it was really unexpected and we had a two year old daughter. I was only twenty-three and I had intense grief and survivor guilt. At that time I was so humbled and my heart was wide open. Any grievances I had just melted away, death will do that to you. It will give you a real perspective on what is important and what is not important.

My loss was more than three decades ago and the grief was overwhelming, the loss was profound. It changed my view of life. I read everything I could get my hands on about death and dying. I went to see a therapist. I dealt with it. I tried a bereavement group with my church. The problem for me at that time was that everyone there was 20, 30, and 40 or more years older than I was, no one there really looked like me so I couldn’t relate. But I worked my way back. I didn’t even realize how far gone I was until one day it was as if I saw flowers for the first time. It was as if I noticed the sun was shining. I was okay I survived and I was happy again.

After that I had this crazy idea that my grief was over that the worst was behind me. Then I lost my family over sexual abuse and this time I was angry. Angry because it didn’t have to be this way, but eventually I worked my way through it. Again I read everything I could get my hands on and I talked with many social workers and with therapists that knew so much more than what I knew. It helped.

When estrangement happened I fell down and I fell hard, it all but did me in, I never saw it coming and was so invested in my daughter. I literally wanted to die. I couldn’t imagine going on without her and somewhere in my mind was “haven’t I lost enough, anything God but please not her!” For a long period of time I lost my faith in God. Up until this point God was always my saving grace. Now I was alone. I was not only hurt but humiliated, who does this? What kind of child has so much success at home and then one day declares that it was horrible for them?

Thank God for my husband and for my closest friends. They literally helped me to save myself. I thought I was going crazy but they had been there and they too thought that she was happy, doing well and set up for success.

After about the tenth year more and more articles and support groups about adult children estranging started popping up all over the place. It was happening all across the world! I have been blessed to have met and made friends with some amazing people, other mothers and fathers who also were in the midst of adult children that estrange.

There are two days in my life that my heart was most loving and most forgiving. One was on October 10th when God blessed me with a beautiful healthy baby girl. The second day was February 22, when my first husband died. It was in that birth and that death that I was closest to my heart and humbled to where I forgave everyone, everything.

Death and loss is supposed to teach us to appreciate the here and the now and to cherish our family and our friends for the time that we have together here on earth. Today as a mature woman in my mid-50’s I no longer view my experiences as losses but I see how each was a divine gift that molded me and helped me to mature and grew my heart larger than I could ever imagined.

It didn’t happen overnight, it was a process, and it was a long road with many up and down days. My writing has not only helped me but I have touched thousands of people’s lives by sharing my experiences. I met people that I connected with because we experienced similar things in life.

Not a day goes by when I don’t hear from someone who is experiencing a loss through death or through estrangement. I don’t have any magic cures, all I know is that I can share what I learned along the way 1) you are not alone and 2) you will survive, if I can, you can too.

Grief Can Be a Gift … we may not see it that way when in the midst of heartache and loss but over time, we learn so much about life, about love and about ourselves. We learn above all what our hearts are really made up of and how strong we really are …

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

My new book Along The Way includes over 220 articles, blogs and essays about what I learned from my experiences relating to love, loss, death, joy, estrangement and more http://www.createspace.com/5737976 and available at Amazon and Barnes and Noble

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Count Your Blessings Come As They May

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Count Your Blessings Come As They May
By Bernadette A Moyer

This title comes from a song by country music artist Pat Green, how true, “count your blessings come as they may.” It is that time of year again with harvest season and so many big holidays ahead. I begin to reflect on all that I am most thankful. There is always something to be thankful for and always a good reason to reflect. We are coming down to the last few months of the year.

In 1992 we were so very thankful for the merging of our two families. My husband had a half a family with himself and infant twins and I had a half a family with my then 11 year old daughter. We all took a huge sigh of relief that God blessed us and that we found each other. We were well supported by our friends, family and work community. Friends who stated it was a “marriage made in heaven, by heaven.”

Now we have more than 23 years later and we are so very thankful for all the abundance we have enjoyed and created all these years together. Several years ago before I had the big career jobs I was feeling overwhelmed with the endless work generated from raising three children, having a family and keeping a home. When I shared this with my mentor she said, “Be thankful you have a kitchen floor to scrub.” I have done my best to try and remember that. Some people don’t have a kitchen floor to scrub or enough food to eat. There is always going to be something that we can appreciate and be thankful for in our life.

I am fortunate to have good health, my home, my family and friends and abundance of choices that we enjoy. As the years pass by I appreciate my husband more and more as he has been a steady and loving force in my life for 23 harvest seasons. Our son says that he is most thankful for, “cool friends, great parents and God who watches over me.”

When we choose to “count our blessings” we concentrate on all the good things in our life instead of the negative ones. Count your gains instead of your losses.

To bless, to consecrate and declare sacred catches God’s ear and we believe pleases our Father that we choose to carry His blessings into this world.

Whatever burden you carry there is also a lesson to be learned, one of my favorite Lou Holtz quotes, “It’s not the load that breaks you down, it is the way you carry it.” I remind myself to take the time to look back, stand in the moment and look to the future for all that you have and will have in this lifetime.

Each season brings the wonder of what could and what will happen next, we live in hope. With change comes chance and new opportunities. Counting my blessings …come as they may …

“A bend in the road is not the end of the road … unless you fail to make the turn.” ~ author unknown
Happy Harvest Season!

Bernadette on Facebookat http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer
New book! Along The Way on Barnes and Noble and Amazon.
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Seeing the Face of God in People

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Seeing the Face of God in People
By Bernadette A Moyer

Several years ago I had a colleague share with me that his choice was to “see the face of God in people” a powerful statement I thought way back then and I still think so today.

How often is it that the way we view someone determines how they become to us? I am reminded of my first supervisor when I was in my mid-twenties and selling real estate, she saw the best in me. She had such a high opinion of you that you never wanted to let her down. She inspired me to be the best I could be and as a result, even though I was the youngest agent in my office I was consistently in the top 25% of salespeople. I did well under her direction. She became a friend, a mentor and like another mother to me.

My next supervisor was just as positive and he encouraged calculated risk. If you made an error on the job he applauded the effort and created teaching opportunities from the experience. This guy was the most educated and always saw potential in people; he knew how to manage both strengths and weakness. He lifted me up and taught me so many valuable skills. He is a true visionary and knows how to bring out the best in all people, places and events. He has made significant and positive life changes for his family, his peers and in his community. Although I couldn’t tell you his religious beliefs, I witnessed his actions and his ability to “see the face of God in people.”

Another supervisor was my worst professional experience to date. He was viewed by many as both arrogant and ignorant. His inner circle, his own team seldom if ever corrected him and yet they openly acknowledged his false assumptions. I never felt valued by him and since I was acquired rather than hired by him it was a losing battle. There was never a person I introduced him to that had something nice to say about him and most commented on the “ick” they felt by his presence. Within months of his arrival I brushed off my resume and secured letters of recommendation. I knew our time together was limited.

It is my natural inclination to trust and to see the best in people. I believe that God lives in most people and that if and when we can see the “face of God in people” we help to bring that out in them. I believe we can also create the reverse if we want to demonize a person and choose to see them as evil then we create that reality too. If perception is reality for most of us then how we perceive another person becomes our own reality.

Most people say, “Life is short” but my husband often says, “Life is long.” I think he is right, life can be long and full of all kinds of joy, sorrow, loss and gain.

My family of origin was a critical one with an opinion about everyone and everything. I look back and see how unhealthy of an environment that was to grow up in. If you weren’t just like them you weren’t embraced by them. I witnessed this same kind of judgement in organized religions and political groups. If you oppose their views then somehow you are less to them. If you have to make another person look bad, tear them down and if you have to make them out to be evil and the devil, what does that say about you?

It is my belief that when you are speaking ill of another it has much more to do with you and how you feel about yourself than it does about the person you are speaking poorly about. Granted not all people are good, some truly are evil. Some people come into your life for a period of time and then their time is up. Most often we can reflect on the teachings of all our relationships, both the ones that stay with us and the ones that end.

Love and hate are both a choice, we decide how we view ourselves, the people in our lives and in our world. Perhaps if we saw “the face of God in people” this would become our perception, our reality and our world.

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer
New book! ALONG THE WAY at http://createspace.com/5737976

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In The Moment

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In The Moment
By Bernadette A. Moyer

It has become increasingly more difficult to live in the moment as we become more and more involved in “social media” and often at the expense of being present in the very moment in time where we find ourselves. I am just as guilty as the next person often thinking about what is yet to come at the cost of what is here and now.

When we stand in the moment, take it all in and are completely present in the here and the now it is then that we are living a fully conscious life.

“Life is a journey, not a destination.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Forever is composed of nows.” Emily Dickenson

“You can’t go back to how things were. How you thought they were. All you really have is … now. Jay Asher

It seems like life is filled with moments that threaded together become our very one and unique life. When we can be present in the moment and fully aware of where we are we can then engage with all of our senses. Real joy is derived from being there and being truly present in time.

Yesterday I presided over a wedding and I can honestly say the bride was there, she was fully aware and engaged, she was in the moment, in her moment. It can be so easy for a bride who has much on her mind to just go through the mechanics of the wedding ceremony and later communicate it was all a “blur” or “I can’t remember.” I saw her eyes, I saw her face, and I saw her presence. And in that space of time, I saw her joy.

Today we enter a new season and when we reflect upon our summer past and fall ahead and we know that all we really have for certain is today.

To live in the moment, we have to be willing to let go of the past and put aside what comes next so that we may be fully engaged in now. Our love and our joy come from our awareness of right here and right now. Time waits for no one, we don’t get it back.

“If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.” Lao Tzu

Enjoy every moment by being present, fully engaged and aware, and therefore living a conscious life!

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer
New book! ALONG THE WAY available at http://www.createspace.com/5737976

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