life

Chocolate Cake and the Gym

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Chocolate Cake and the Gym
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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Chocolate cake and the gym is pretty much my life where I enjoy moving from the sweet melty chocolate cake experience to the hot sweaty and salty work out experience at the gym. It is one extreme to the other and plenty of good and bad stuff in the middle.

Like life it can be sweet and easy or hard and rough. But it is also a testament to a rich and full life filled with a variety of experiences. Maybe the chocolate cake makes the gym more tolerable? Or does the gym make the chocolate cake more worthy of consumption?

Yesterday I literally baked a pumpkin pie and chocolate chip/walnut cookies before I headed out to the gym for an hour swim and a 15-minute sauna. I met my steps goal with more than 10,000 steps and I enjoyed two cookies! It felt great! It felt like balance! It felt rich!

In the deeper sense when life is tough and we are experiencing a rough patch we need to remind ourselves that whatever it is, it is only one part of the total picture. Nothing is all good or all bad.

“The very purpose of life is happiness, which is sustained by hope. We have no guarantee about the future, but we exist in the hope of something better. Hope means keeping going, thinking “I can do this.” It brings inner strength, self-confidence, the ability to do whatever we do honestly, truthfully and transparently.” – Dalai Lama

More and more I try to enjoy the extremes in life the rich experience of a really fierce workout at the gym along with that full sensory experience of enjoying a piece of homemade chocolate cake.

Now for the really serious stuff, the best chocolate cake by far is the Classic Hershey cocoa cake. It includes 11 ingredients and certainly is a lot more work than a box cake but it stays moist long and is so good it really does not need any icing. Powdered sugar on top looks great; add some sliced berries and if that cake isn’t enough chocolate for you, the Hershey cocoa cans also include their chocolate icing recipe too. It’s really good and really rich.

What does a rich life look like for you?
What does it include?
Where do you draw a balance?
What do you work toward?

How do you treat yourself?

“None of us are getting out of here alive, so please stop treating yourself like an after- thought. Eat the delicious food. Walk in the sunshine. Jump in the ocean. Say the truth that you’re carrying around in your heart like a hidden treasure. Be silly. Be kind. Be weird. There’s no time for anything else.” Richard Gere

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

Books by Bernadette A Moyer on Amazon and Barnes and Noble

Early Morning Magic

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Early Morning Magic
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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It is the wonder
It is the possibilities
It is the morning
It is magic

Early morning magic
When all things are possible
With an upbeat attitude
And a heart filled with gratitude

Another morning
Another day
I think I ponder and I pray
What will enter, remain and stay

So much to do
So much to say
It’s another blessing
A brand new day

In the early morning
Just before the sun rises
The possibilities are endless
Relish in the early morning magic

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer
Books by Bernadette on Amazon and Barnes & Noble

This Too Shall Pass

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This Too Shall Pass
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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The beauty of life is that nothing lasts forever, and when you have some life experience you begin to understand that no matter what is going on, it won’t last. This too shall pass. Good things and bad things, they pass. Nothing stays the same, everything changes and no one thing or person lasts forever.

So what would I tell young people and my younger self? Hang on because as challenging as life can be at times, it will change, things do shift and in time everything passes. Take the lessons and the life  experience and let the rest go …

2 Corinthians 4:17-18 “For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever. So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now, rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but see will last forever.”

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer
Books by Bernadette on Amazon and Barnes & Noble

The Heart and Head Conflict of a Parent

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The Heart and Head Conflict of a Parent
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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My husband and I have often lead with our hearts, when in retrospect it might have been better to lead with our head. When it comes to raising children it can be a real challenge making decisions for our children when our heart is telling us one thing but our head is saying another.

It has been said that “bigger kids means bigger problems.” Our kids enjoyed a certain amount of success while under our care. When we made all the decisions they were all doing well and set for success. Each child looked and acted fit. Each child was encouraged to do their best and to lead with their own unique talents. We wanted them to be happy but we also wanted then to be successful in life. We knew that our job in being “in control” would end one day and they would transition from child to adult.

As I read through social media earlier today a friend wrote this statement:

“I feel that the toughest part about parenthood – once our kids are adults is that we lose control. We have no control any longer, like we did when they were under our watch as toddlers and teens. We lose control of the five W’s:
– Where they go/Where they live
– What they do
– Who they choose to be/Who’s attracted into their lives
– When we get to be together
– Why they want/do/pick/think/decide
We are forced to trust our babies to themselves, to others, and to the world … and that’s a LOT to ask of a parent. We hope we did our jobs okay when we did have control.

So now we want to, have to, and do … trust our precious beings to God and to the universe … and we pray for the best outcomes possible. While we sit here and watch. Out of control. Cheers to all of us parents. The most emotional, challenging — and rewarding — job on Earth.” S.S. 10/12/16

Only a seasoned parent with years and years of parenting under their belts could/would fully appreciate the quote above. Kids are so ready to call us “controlling” yet those “controls” often were what was necessary to avoid further hurts and conflicts.

As we become those “mature parents” with our own rich history in parenting, it doesn’t take much thought to think back to all the times we challenged our own parents as we also needed to transition from child to adult.

“A parents job is to give a kid what they need and not what they want.” Dr. R.

One of the hardest decisions any parent will make is in the letting go. We think we know what is best and even if we are right, they still need to learn and to grow and to see and experience it all for themselves. Even if we are “right” we don’t get to decide when our children are adults.

Prayers up for all the parents of adult children who are learning to let them go, and doing so with grace and love.

Prayers up for all the adult children that are exercising their adult status and making their own decisions.

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

All books by Bernadette A. Moyer on Amazon and Barnes and Noble

The Process

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The Process
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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We give so little credit to “the process” as we tend to think more about the end result. However the more life experience that I attain I tend to give more and more attention and respect for “the process.”

Our most thoughtful and best decisions are often derived as we complete the process. We learn about what we like and what we dislike we learn about what fits and feels right for us. I used to give all the credit to the end result to success to coming to the conclusion and completion but now I am giving so much more credit for the process that we go through until we arrive at our destination.

What advice would I give to my 20 year old self?

“Don’t be in such a hurry, stop, reflect and thoroughly enjoy the process!”

As someone who was always a high achiever I was always completely focused on the end result, looking back I can see where I rushed through much and could have enjoyed more with a better understanding of the value that is held in the process.

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It doesn’t matter if they are personal goals or professional goals, some much is attained when we take the time to not only go through “the process” but revel in it. I have also come to know that my best responses may not be my first responses but the ones where I took the time to reflect on all sides and took the time to process as much information as I could so that I could then arrive at the very best decisions.

Gathering information and educating ourselves should not be rushed but should be treated with respect and understanding as to the value of allowing for the process to unfold and the answers to revealing themselves.

So here is to placing more value and time and attention on “the process” …

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

Books by Bernadette A. Moyer on Amazon and Barnes and Noble

Birth Date

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Birth Date
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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They just keep coming, don’t they? Until one year they don’t! We celebrate our life each year as it reminds us of how finite time truly is for us. We remember. We remember ours and we remember others. We remember how we celebrated those special years and the special years of our children. Every stage of our lives bringing us its own wonder and then the anticipation of what may come ahead for us, we celebrate each year.

I love being an October baby and a Libra, I certainly own my “Libra-ness” with my ability to be fair, balanced and see all sides of every issue. And I cherish all my Libra friends who also share in our soulfulness!

Every birth date I remind myself of all that I have done and all that I have accomplished in my lifetime, to date, and then I remind myself that although our futures are never certain I am excited about the endless possibilities of life and what may come ahead. I think about the endless opportunities that afford us with so many choices.

“Every year on your birthday, you get a chance to start new.” Sammy Hagar

I wonder … I wonder about how my parents were when I was born. How did they feel with the birth of their second child? I wonder about those early years when I have no memories and about what transpired. I think it is normal to think about the two people that came together so that we could be born. I think about the two people that created a new life, and went on and lived their lives, now with greater purpose and responsibility. The unity they shared just by virtue of the fact that they chose to become parents … together … again for their second time.

What if they never met? What if they only had their first child? Their decisions to pro-create would leave lasting results and history long after their lives would end. It sounds so simple. Yet we all know the gravity of life and death decision. A child is born! A new birth date is revealed to us. It is all so amazing the actual miracle of life of birth and of birth dates.

“Today you are YOU, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is YOUER than you.” Dr. Suess

And then of course I think about my own offspring that would come just three days after my own birth date. Another Libra born, but this time I have all the memories of those early days, months and years. They remain so clear. The way that just moments after her birth she would lift her head and turn to the other side. The thoughts and the reflection I would experience within the long 20 plus hours of labor that occurred so that I would become a first time mother. I think about her father who was there to welcome her. How that union of this man and woman would create that one unique child. And a new birth date would be established and logged into our family history.

In just a few days I will celebrate yet another birth date, I feel blessed to still be here, many have not been afforded long lives. I know how blessed and how lucky that I am. I appreciate all the actual living that has gone into this one unique not to be duplicated life.

Happy Birth Date to all my October friends and Libra sisters and brothers … given the alternative I am thrilled to be here and so grateful that I am still loving and appreciating my life and just plugging right along …

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

Books by Bernadette on Amazon and Barnes and Noble

Embracing the Rain

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Embracing the Rain
By Bernadette A Moyer

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Rain rain
Go away
Come again
Another day

But I am here now
So don’t complain
Grass is greener
Roses need me too

The air smells cleaner
Fresher brighter
Washes away the grime
Slows down crime

Sorry about the gray
It’s raining
It’s pouring
The old is snoring

Who cares
Except you
Can’t pull the covers up over your head
And stay there stuck in your bed

Off to work in it so you dread
The rain can’t stop you
But do slow down
When it stops and it will

The sun will return all the brighter
Rain rain glad you are here
Doing your job
To keep us clean, fresh and new

Just remember
It’s only September
No rain
No rainbow

Into each life some rain must fall
I know, I know I’ve heard it all
Embrace the rain, don’t fight it
It won’t last long so why not delight in it

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

All books by Bernadette A Moyer on Amazon and Barnes & Noble

Coffee

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Coffee
By Bernadette A. Moyer

coffee

Coffee in the morning
Coffee at night
Anytime of day
Coffee is just right

Coffee with dad
Two sugars and cream
Coffee with Brian
Hot and black

Coffee me
Light and sugar free
Morning cup
Afternoon pick me up

Evening reboot
Dessert with a shot
Light or dark
Short and tall

Cappuccino or latte
Café au lait
How do you like it
They will make it your way

Pretty cup
Paper with a sleeve
Irish whiskey if you please
It really makes no difference to me

Coffee hot and steamy
Coffee cold and creamy
Coffee for my headache
Coffee for this flight

It doesn’t matter the time
Coffee is always just right
My special mug
Please just fill her up

Dark chocolate covered beans
Light roasted too
Can you smell that grind
We are here just in time

Pretty cups and lots of different faces
So many unique fun coffee places
Individual cup or a whole pot
Single double or triple shot

Coffee light coffee dark
No matter how you take yours it is always right
Nothing beats that first cup to get started
Except … coffee, coffee and even more coffee …

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer
Books by Bernadette A. Moyer on Amazon and Barnes & Noble

Passion

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Passion
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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Anything that I ever excelled at and had success with was because I had passion for it. I think passion can and does take you further than skill alone. Through the recent years I have been afforded many career opportunities and the ones that held my attention were the ones where I was able to 1) take the necessary time to fall in love with and 2) feel truly passionate about doing.

There is no question that skill set is important but I have come to believe that when we marry our skills with our passion that then it is when we truly achieve the highest degrees of success.

Think about what and who you love and have passionate feelings about? How easy is it to manage as opposed to things and people that are just okay and that we tolerate?

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.” Maya Angelou

Given the choice I want to be passionate about all the things that I do and all the people in my life. To me this is the highest degree of life and of living. I mean who wants to live life by just go through the motions?

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Sometimes I think that we don’t give enough credit for passion and given the choice I will take a passionate person over one who has just the skill set.

Here it to living a life filled with all the things that you are passionate about …

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer
All books by Bernadette A. Moyer on Amazon and Barnes & Noble

Goodbye to All That

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Goodbye to All That
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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Letting go of possessions, people and places that once held value in our lives can be so difficult to do and yet at the same time it can also be so freeing.

Lately and probably over the past few years I find myself purging possessions and people that no longer give me the same pleasure and/or opportunity for growth that they once did.

For years I collected Barbie dolls and probably had about 30 highly collectable dolls in my collection. I had an original 1959 Barbie from the year she was born, Scarlett O’Hara Barbie from Gone With The Wind, 101 Dalmatians Barbie, Angel Barbie, Birthday Barbie, Christmas Barbie and Wedding Day Barbie just to name a few. Then a few years ago I started donating them just a handful at a time as a mini collection to silent auctions for nonprofits that I supported and held dear. I was so happy that they brought in much needed funds and were going to make someone else happy just as they did for me. Last week I gifted two favorites; Angel and Holiday Barbie to two precious little girls. Their joy and their glee was just so rewarding and seeing how happy those dolls made them made me equally if not even happier.

My husband caught the giving bug in his decision to support me in my professional fundraising goals while breaking up his sports memorabilia collection. One year he gave me his prized autographed Ted Williams baseball to donate. It was after Ted’s death and came complete with a full set of authentication papers. That ball was used in a live auction to benefit disadvantaged children. My husband paid a mere $60 for it and it gave him joy for many years. The night of the auction that $60 signed baseball brought in $2,400! My husband was thrilled and admired by some of the most elite in that gala dining room on the evening of this black tie fundraising event. He was filled with joy and I was so proud to have him as my husband.

As I have gotten older and through the years I have received some high end gifts like authentic Burberry pieces. Last week I re-gifted a Burberry scarf to a friend that I adore. I wanted her to have something special and something that was of value but also once belonged to me. The joy for me was in the giving. I’ve believed for a long time that, “giving is for the giver.”

There are organizations that need just about anything that can be donated to lift up someone else that doesn’t have. Some organizations collect shoes for people who have none and work suits and professional attire for people who need them to secure employment and food for the hungry.

When our twins were younger they learned the gift of giving at a very young age. Often they had birthday parties and invited their entire class. Because they were twins they didn’t want their guests to feel the burden of purchasing two gifts. Our twins asked that donations be made to nonprofits they named and who supported kids who had less than what they did. I can recall several years when they raised somewhere between $600 and $1,000 each year by doing this. I also remember how empowered and joyful they were by their own abilities to help by raising money, kids helping kids.

Ecclesiastes 3
A Time for Everything
1 For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under the heaven.
2 A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest.
3 A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up.
4 A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance.
5 A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones. A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
6 A time to search and a time to quit searching. A time to keep and a time to throw away.
7 A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
8 A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace.

I have come to believe and to understand that some people and places have a time and a place too. Sometimes you have to let go for they no longer add to your life but take in ways that leave you in an unhealthy place. I have learned for me it is best to do so with love. Given the choice I can be a forever friend and yet at times this is impossible to achieve.

My friends have often filled many roles in my life, many voids that were left by my family. In my history with them and my desire not to lose more people I have been guilty of hanging on to relationships that I had either outgrown or ones that were destructive. In my rose colored glasses approach to life, I let many things go that in retrospect should have been dealt with in an appropriate and respectful manner.

In my decisions to purge possessions, people and places that no longer fit for me, I have freed myself up to entertain other people, places and yes other possessions too. I have allowed myself the opportunity to continue to grow and to learn and to make room for that which can allow me to do so. My giving away and giving way to letting go has allowed others to benefit as well.

I have always been so much better at “hello” but I am learning the necessity of saying “goodbye” with grace. It is often said that the closing of one door opens another as does the freeing and giving away those things that no longer serve us well.

Letting go, giving away and giving up can be a gift. Here is to knowing when to let go in love and how to do it with grace, and when it is time to say Goodbye to all that …

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer
All books by Bernadette A. Moyer on Amazon and Barnes & Noble