inspiration

Ice Cream for Breakfast

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Ice Cream for Breakfast
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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Open up the windows in January and build a fire in June, eat ice cream and pizza for breakfast, why not? Sometimes doing things against our “norms” is a good thing and a healthy thing too.

Break all the rules! We are bound by our own code to live by and by our belief system. What part of our lives or anyone else’s will be harmed or somehow less than by letting fresh air in our homes in January or by enjoying the warmth and excitement of a fire during the summer. How about that cold leftover pizza for breakfast?

It becomes easy to live our lives by routine and mindlessly going about our day, and by doing what we have always done.

One of my least favorite lines in response to change is; but that that is how we have always done it! And when you have set new goals that excuse is not good and not good enough. If you want growth and you want development you must embrace change and a new way of doing things.

Change your thinking and change your world …

Try new things, set new goals, visit different people and new places … eat ice cream for breakfast … try something new and different and exciting …

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.bernadetteamoyer.com
All books by Bernadette A Moyer on Amazon and Barns & Noble

What ever happened to the Golden Rule?

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What ever happened to the Golden Rule?
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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Remember the golden rule? “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” Matthew 7:12 has it gone out of style, treat others as you would want to be treated? And with it went kindness, proper behaviors and respect?

I read everything and I’ve learned to comment on few things. Yesterday I read political posts from people that I know and like and basically they were full-throttle trashing the President. All I could think was/is if your son or daughter or grandchildren said the same things about their class President would you think that was appropriate language? I know they wouldn’t. No school would allow a student to talk to another student with such disrespect.

We model all our behaviors for our children and for our grandchildren, would you take pride in your child or grandchildren if they spoke the same way and used the same words that you use? How about this, how about if someone said that same things to you and about you? Would that be okay?

In a world full of change and filled with different opinions and views, I still do my best to live by the golden rule. Spewing hate about anyone just makes YOU look bad it doesn’t make the person you are attacking and degrading look badly.
Civility and kindness cost nothing and yet so many seem to forget that. IF YOU WANT TO HAVE PEACE AND LOVE, BE FILLED WITH PEACE AND LOVE!

I will never get the mental image of both Madonna and Ashley Judd out of my mind, the way they spoke during the Women’s March and the words they used didn’t make me think badly about their intended targets but it made me look at them in a very different light. I can’t think of any situation where I would ever want to be like them or speak like them.

The attacks all seemed beneath them Ashley Judd saying Trump looks like he rolled around in a bag of Cheetos? Really that is your supporting statement? I love a good debate but on the merits and not on personal attacks. When you have to go so low to try and make a point, you probably don’t have a very good argument to begin with, sad.

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My mother was famous for saying, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” Seems to me this is still good advice. I worry and I wonder about a generation of young people who witness what goes on in this hateful divisive climate and how what they witness today will do to affect their own behaviors tomorrow.

And what about Karma, when you spew hate and unkindness I don’t think you can be surprised when it all comes right back at you? What you sow in the universe becomes your very own garden. I prefer to sow the seeds that grow love, kindness, understanding, tolerance, acceptance and most of all I do believe that the Golden Rule is still relevant and I do my best to treat others in a way that I would want to be treated.

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

Books by Bernadette A. Moyer on Amazon and Barnes and Noble

It’s More Than Just Cake

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It’s More Than Just Cake
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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There is a big difference between a box cake and a made from scratch cake, each cake is typically created with love. Food is love. Most people that bake believe that, they make food not just to eat but to satisfy that desire to make and to create. There is so much satisfaction that comes from making food and even more satisfaction when it is well received and appreciated.

Making a scratch cake is labor intensive, it takes time and it takes more effort and typically it shows in the finished product. People that know, know, they can taste the difference between a box cake mix and one that is created from adding all your own fresh ingredients.

My two favorite scratch cake recipes are the classic Hershey Chocolate cake that includes 11 ingredients and the other a simple Hot Milk Sponge cake. Both cakes stay fresher longer than any box cake I have ever made and they taste so much better too. It is always worth the effort.

Thinking about cake making and the big scheme of life also made me think about effort and where and how we choose to devote our time. We don’t bake a cake with a desire for it to fall and fail. We don’t choose to spend our time and efforts and have an outcome of failure. If we knew we were headed toward failure we would change course, we would try again or we would try something new. We would do things differently. If we knew for certain that the outcome would be failure, we may not even try at all.

“Strength and growth come only through continuous effort and struggle.” Napoleon Hill

There is a big difference from thinking about a task as opposed to actually doing that task. Buying a cake at the bakery and making a homemade cake will have the same desired results if the goal is merely to show up with a cake in hand. But the experience and knowledge from making it and creating it for ourselves will be lost. And even when the outcome is failure, we will have learned something during the efforts and the process.

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With cake, everyone has an opinion, an idea of how it should be and a favorite. People may love cake but they know which cake they prefer and they certainly do have their favorites. The desire to create is an act of love, pure and simple. And just like in life, the efforts that we may bring and that we put forward show itself in the final analysis and final product.

Happy cake baking … Happy efforts … Happy life …

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

Books by Bernadette A. Moyer on Amazon and Barnes & Noble

Appreciation Doesn’t Coexist With Depression

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Appreciation Doesn’t Coexist With Depression
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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Our adult son is battling “severe depression” after his place of employment closed their doors, and he lost his job. One thing that stands out is how much his thinking has changed. Not that long ago he was happy and so appreciative. He appreciated everything. If you gave him a gift, even clothing he was thrilled with it. If you treated him to the movies or out to eat, he was happy and he was appreciative.

He respected and he appreciated his job too. It made him happy to have a place to go, to have connections to other people and of course to be earning his own money. He often worked 10-12 hour days in retail, he worked full time and he greeted customers and waited on them. He was very social there. When you watched him in motion you would see his joy. He was also doing this while being on the autism spectrum and no medications. He was active, always walking and going out to the gym to workout.

What stands out today is his lack of appreciation. And not just lacking it but his deep sense of entitlement. He is now like a walking encyclopedia on all the free programs that the government provides for people with disabilities even though he has been told by his doctor that he is “not disabled.” With the help of social workers he knows more about food stamps, rent vouchers, social security benefits, SSI, SSDI, form 500 and much more.

He says he wants to live “independently” when in reality he wants to live dependent on the government. Well intentioned social workers have put all kinds of ideas into his head. They did not know him when he was happy and productive and truly independent. They did not know him when he was appreciative and grateful.

The more he is handed the less he seems to appreciate and the more “depressed” he has become. The more he thinks he can get, the less he is interested in doing for himself. Today and with the team of his doctors and social service workers he is taking 9-different medications and 27 pills in a single day. He has gained more than 50 pounds in less than two months and while being hospitalized.

On so many levels it is so hard to witness such decline in someone who is so young. This entire experience that we have witnessed has made us see the connection between appreciation and gratitude and how they do not coexist with depression. Someone that is depressed is unable to appreciate what they have, they spend their time thinking about all the things they lost and all the things they don’t have. It also drives home for us the importance of how we think, how we all think.

If we can find things to appreciate and to be grateful for we can fight off depression. We can fight depression naturally with a gratitude journal or diary. We can fight depression with a gratitude jar. We can focus on all the things we already have rather than on what we don’t have.

There is no pill that will cure depression! There are many people that find relief in medication but pills won’t make a depressed person happy and they don’t take depression away. We can all be depressed if we want and yes I am aware that we are all wired differently. Some people are pre-disposed to depression. Sometimes it runs in the family genetic make-up. Sometimes changing how we think actually changes our brain chemistry. Like a car that isn’t wired properly and won’t start and run, a person who isn’t properly wired won’t start and run either.

We always knew our son was on the autism spectrum, and we take great pride in knowing that we parented an autistic child that made national honor roll and achieved Eagle Scout. He worked hard and so did we in our support of him. He made it into the United States Navy and he held down a full time job for over three and a half years all the while that we supported him and encouraged him and rooted for his success. He was so grateful. He was so creative and he was interested in other people and less self-absorbed.

When we love someone, anyone it is hard to witness them being on the decline, destructive and making poor choices. It is hard to watch someone, anyone with so much life ahead of them spiral so far downward when all you want to do is pick them up and help them and yet you know there is really nothing that you can do. You have done all that you can do. This is his journey and not ours.

The biggest takeaway for us is that with appreciation and with gratitude, depression is far less likely to take root and stick around. A happy person is a productive person and a thankful person.

Today and every day we pray for people with mental illness and that they may find the strength, and the desire to pull themselves up and find gratitude for all that they do have rather than focusing on what they may have lost …

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

All books by Bernadette A. Moyer on Amazon and Barnes and Noble

If You Think You Can, You Can!

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If You Think You Can, You Can!
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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If you think you can, you can! This first came to me from a favorite teacher when I was a young girl in school. It has stayed with me ever since. The mind is the computer system of the body, what goes in is what comes out. If we believe that we can achieve it we will.

The opposite is true as well if you tell yourself that you can’t do it, you won’t do it. There is nothing that we can’t achieve if we work hard enough for it and believe in it. One of the greatest gifts we can give to ourselves is to believe in ourselves and our own abilities.

This mantra doesn’t just work with the goals that we set for ourselves like becoming the class President or securing that job. It also can be used when we are faced with adversity. As human beings we are survivors and have a built in desire to live, to survive and even thrive.

One of the reasons I love teachers so much and have so many in my life as good friends is because they don’t see the obstacle as much as they see the possibilities. They know that with effort and the right attitude everything and anything is possible.

When we are faced with a challenge and a struggle and with adversity we must learn to use the same tools of “If you think you can, you can!” If you think you can beat cancer you will try your hardest, if you think you can get over “it” “him” or “her.” You will!

It is when we tell ourselves that “we can’t” is when we are doomed to fail. Kids have a natural born in desire with an “I can do that!” attitude. We should remember that as we age. If we believe in ourselves and believe that there is nothing we can’t accomplish with the right mind set we become fully accomplished. Then there is no challenge that we cannot overcome. So often getting through that challenge and to the other side is when we see the gifts of overcoming that which was once an obstacle.

Change your thinking and change your world. If you think you can, you can! Say it, see it, believe it and then do it!

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

All books by Bernadette A. Moyer on Amazon and Barnes and Noble

A Brand New Canvas

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A Brand New Canvas
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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We have a brand new canvas ahead of us and what will we paint on it? What colors will we use? What pictures will we portray? What scenes will we draw? What look will we create? What words will we use?

Each New Year affords us an opportunity to be new again, we can continue the path that we are on or we can turn about and turn around and start anew. We have a brand new canvas upon which to draw our stories. Our stories may be bright and uplifting or they may be dark and desperate. What will inspire us?

As we turn the page and draw upon a new year all is white and all is bright with the endless possibilities and new opportunities that a new year holds for us. What we do with the possibilities and opportunities is completely up to us.

Do we have an idea of how we want that final portrait to look or are we going about it without any forethought and plan? Each New Year affords us hope …

“Where there’s life, there’s hope.” Theocritus (c.270 BC)

Happiest of New Year’s 2017 may you be blessed with good health, much love and abundance …

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

All books by Bernadette A Moyer on Amazon and Barnes and Noble

Just a Little TLC

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Just a Little TLC
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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It’s amazing what a little love and tender loving care can and will do. For months we watched a home in our neighborhood going from abandoned to a bank foreclosure. There were sticky notices on the door and the fence was coming apart and partially missing. The windows were showing signs of age and there was chipping paint. You could see that this house was neglected and abandoned. It backed up to our community park and practically added the park to extend its own backyard.

The house looked sad and it looked unloved. And it was. Then we started to see cars there and later a new fence and new windows. Some freshly added paint too. The house was starting to come back to life!

It has such a perfect location in being at the end of the block and then backing up to our community park. Love and care brought that house back and renewed its place in the community. No longer is it an eyesore and run-down piece of property but it has new owners. New owners that invested their time and their resources to bring about positive results and I’m sure the neighbors are delighted with those results.

Seeing that home go from down and out to up and rising, reminded me that we can all be abandoned and we can all be neglected but when we are loved and when we receive tender loving care we look and we feel and we act our best. People notice how we take care of ourselves and how we look and how we carry ourselves.

“We must always change renew, rejuvenate ourselves; otherwise we harden.” Goethe

We can look and act like a wreck, worn out and abandoned or we can pick ourselves up, do the work and add some tender loving care and become renewed again. Who doesn’t want to feel renewed and revived and most of all loved?

Here is to the effects of tender loving care and feeling rejuvenated and renewed …

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer
All books by Bernadette A. Moyer on Amazon and Barnes and Noble

November Virtue Celebrating Friendship

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November Virtue Celebrating Friendship
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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Through the years I have often told my children, “in order to have a friend, you must first be a friend.” What does it take to make, manage and maintain a friendship?

“Let us ask the Lord for the grace not to speak badly of others, not to criticize, not to gossip, but rather to love everyone.” Pope Francis

How can we celebrate our friendships? What might we do to be a better friend? So much of keeping a relationship going points back to acceptance and tolerance. We make the time for the people that matter the most to us. We show them by our actions how important they are to us.

Today we are living in a country divided; our politics shows us this as we are trying to find our identity, what better time than now to take to heart the words above from Pope Francis?

“A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow.” William Shakespeare

This November, won’t you join me and celebrate friendship?

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

Books by Bernadette on Amazon and Barnes & Noble

My New Book is Out

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My New Book is Out
By Bernadette A. Moyer

My new book titled; ALONG THE WAY has finally been published and of course I am excited. Writing and creating a book is a lot like birthing a baby as you go from conception to birthing, it is a process!

And just like having a baby when that book is finally birthed/published you are just over the moon happy and so giddy with glee.

This isn’t my first book and yet every book feels like a first. I know that it is my best work, well at least, to date. Most writers know that you just get better and better the more that you write.

It is a long road and a lengthy process to create a book and like my favorite Stephen King quote states; “there is no such thing as writing, there is only re-writing.” I don’t think there is a writer out there that is ever finished/ done, we want to edit, to correct, and to rephrase and we want to do it over and over again.

ALONG THE WAY includes more than 220 articles, blogs and essays and covers a wide range of topics. Some titles include; It Isn’t About You, Dads and Daughters, Perfection is God’s Business, Dear Estranged Adult Sons and Daughters (has over 1,000 “likes” on Facebook) and Happiness is an Inside Job.

You can find a detailed book description at http://www.createspace.com/5705583?ref

My new book is out and I hope that you enjoy it as much as I have enjoyed creating it!

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

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And The Summer Became The Fall

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And The Summer Became The Fall
By Bernadette A. Moyer

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“And the summer became the fall I was not ready for the winter” from the song Nightbird by Stevie Nicks. I am never really ready for winter, I mean yes I have the coats, the hats, the boots, the gloves and scarves but mentally I am a summer and a sunshine girl.

I’ve come to appreciate the fall more and more each year, its harvest time. I like the cooler temps in the evening and “sweater weather.”

Right now although we are still in August, some schools have gone back from summer break and I can see a few leaves that have already fallen from our trees. Recently I heard the weather man say that it is now becoming dark just before 8:00 in the evening.

I love pumpkins and making more “comfort foods” and taking advantage of the harvest.

Apples and apple pie making always makes me happy. It won’t be long before all the leaves have fallen and the days get shorter and darkness comes earlier, and we witness the fields plowed and in rest mode.

“And when I call, will you walk gently thru my shadow”

“And the winter is really here now and the blankets that I love, sometimes I am surrounded by too much love” Quotes from Nightbird written by Stevie Nicks.

Winter always feels like that like, the shadow of night after the summer filled with light. Let us pray that this fall and winter season is filled with an abundance of both blankets and love for all. Tis the season to remember everyone with love and warmth and light …

Bernadette on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/bernadetteamoyer

All books by Bernadette A. Moyer on Amazon and Barnes and Noble